Mad, New World!
by Inyoface
Summary: INSANITY-MELANCHOLY-NARCISSISM: Factors making life oh-so-much more interesting for Max who finds cynical craze WAY more entertaining than sanity. Especially after meeting nonconformist Kai and teachers pet Hiro with their own special manias.yaoi KaiMax
1. MAX On Melancholy

**Hi there! It's 'Inyoface' (sorry for the name, it was too tempting!). And I've written a Beyblade fic. Hope you like it. **

**By the way, the title's a reference to Aldous Huxley's dystopic novel 'brave new world'. **

**Summary: Max may appear like a normal teen on the outside. But there's more to him. He's hiding his true self and instead presents himself as a happy-go-lucky angel. In truth he is cynical, narcistic and slightly mental. Things change when Max encounters a random mad persona, as pathetic as can be but somewhat free. So now Max decides to take advantage of the inconsistency of his mind and plays a game with society, because only if you're not sane, can you truly be careless, but the question is: Is being completely careless really a good thing? Especially when it comes to love. **

**Pairings: KaixMax (yaoi)**

**Setting: This takes place in Maryland, US. I didn't know where exactly in America Max was from and I really liked the name of the city 'Baltimore'. Plus Maryland fits the legal laws I used in this fic. Kai's an immigrant by the way. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade. Oh, and by the way, Pi is not an OC. She's an actual Beyblade character, I'll reveal her identity later on. Not like she appears often, Only three times briefly from now on.**

**Anyways, let the fun begin!**

**xxx - xxx - xxx**

Hello everyone! I am Max Tate. Just your average school boy. I'm seventeen years old and I am in the 11th grade at my local high school. I love going to school. I get along well with all the teachers and I have the most awesome friends of all time.

xxx - xxx - xxx

Okay, the last two sentences are complete lies. Going to school makes me wanna puke my guts out, my teachers like me because I act nice to them but secretly I absolutely despise them. And my so-called friends... Oh don't even get me started. What a pathetic bunch of oblivious retards. They now nothing about life and are as dense as it can get. Even those that think they are intelligent. They may know several math formulas by heart but they would never even recognize deception if it would smack them in the face with 50 kilo hammer.

And I am the living, breathing proof for that. I wear a mask. Not just in front of them, in front of everybody. My teachers, my neighbours, even my parents. The person I am in front of them is a happy-chappie little over-hyped angel, as dense as they all are and slightly naive and dumbfounded. I hate that Max. He's is sad to look at. Still, I am jealous of him. He always is so careless, only thinks in the moment and doesn't worry about the past or the future. And he is able to start laughing for no reason, with a smile that is intense enough to captivate others.

I am aware that I am referring to myself as if I were another person. That is on purpose. To me it is as if two of me exist. One is optimistic and cheerful; the other is depressing and arrogant. Yes I am arrogant. And I don't see a reason why not. I should be thankful that I have the intelligence to be superior to them all. Anyways, the latter is the real me. The one that I cannot escape from. The one that is hyperconscious. George Orwell once wrote: 'Ignorance is strength'. And he was correct. Ignorance allows you to only be aware of the things you want to be aware of. It backs you up and makes you believe in yourself and whatever you want to believe in. It gives you strength. Hyper conscience gives you weakness. However it comes with awareness and the ability to understand things. But it drags you down and kills you internally. Outside, my life appears perfect. _Appears_, that is the keyword in the phrase. Nothing is like it seems. I am not what I am. Inside I am rotten and lost.

But that was going to change; on a dark day in late autumn as unsuspicious as it could be. Nothing stood out. Nothing gave me that feeling that it would be one of the most significant days in my life. There are people that insist that they can feel if the day would become important. In my opinion they rather want to think that. So they select futile details of the day that might, in some distant way, may have distinguished it from a normal day. They believe it because they want to believe it. As I said before, Ignorance is strength. It is the power to make things come true in your mind, but you only trick yourself. They are not real. But I am going to be honest with you now. The day was boring and common. Nothing special about it and no hints that it might become one of the most important days of my life.

I was on the way home from the grocery store where I had been doing some shopping for my parents. When I drove onto the highway with my Dad's old Toyota it was dark already. No wonder, it was 11 pm after all. The highway was completely empty so I seized the opportunity and pushed down the accelerator pedal until the car had reached a, to me, stimulating and interesting speed. Unfortunately I wasn't as alone as I expected to be and to make it even worse the only other car strolling the highway at night happened to be a police patrol vehicle which pulled me over.

'Young man, did you realize you were going 20 miles over the speeding limit?' a police man with a rough voice and saggy, tired eyes asked me.

Nice to see how he hadn't lost his manners, it was so heart-warming to be greeted with a friendly and enthusiastic 'Good evening'. But since I was in the presence of another person, the nice, sweet Max kicked in and stopped me from expressing my inquire.

'Oh I did sir? Oh no! I didn't realize. I am so sorry.'

I internally smirked at my reply. _Didn't realize_... MY ASS! After all, I had pressed down the accelerating pedal at full awareness, the only reason being to satisfy my need for near-death-experience.

'Hn, well I have to see your papers and licence.'

I nodded and took out the car's papers stashed in the glove compartment. Once I had given them to him I started cramming for my wallet in the shopping bag. Then it hit me. Oh damn! I had only brought cash. I remembered leaving my wallet in my room on purpose after my Dad had told me he'd give me the money. Oh shit! Caught speeding without a licence. I had a feeling this was going to be a long night. So I did my best to avoid that from happening by turning my face towards the cop and putting on my captivating-fake-angel-Max smile.

'You see, sir. I have a little problem.'

'Forget it, I'm not gonna let you go pee in the bushes. I know you're planning to run off.'

Actually that thought hadn't even crossed my mind. And there was no reason why it ever would. The highway was fenced so the only possible way to go would be along the road. And considering that I would only have my feet while the cop had his car this idea truly was remarkably stupid.

'No sir, My problem is that I left my wallet at home. I don't have my licence here. But you could call my Dad; he'll confirm it's me.'

'That I was planning to do anyways, but you're coming with me now to the constabulary.'

I nodded and got out of the car. I didn't even bother asking what they would do with it. It was my Dad's, so he should be worrying about it, not me.

xxx - xxx - xxx

It was the first time ever that I had been to the police station. It was kind of awkward; I have to admit, especially since every cop would treat me like a badass gangsta. It was ridiculous how they got worked up over a speeding ticket and me forgetting my drivers licence. The car wasn't even reported stolen and still they got all worked up about it. And to make matters worse, my lazy parents had decided to go to bed early so they didn't answer the phone when the cops had tried to call them.

'Looks like you're gonna have to spend the night.' one of them said with a mischievous smirk on his face.

Hn, what a drag, I thought and started to get comfortable on a sofa. Turned out since I was a suspect, they didn't intend to let me stay on the sofa; instead they locked me into one of those large cage rooms with about seven others. The room had one unisex bathroom and 10 sets of bunk beds. I just hoped they wouldn't all fill up throughout the night. It was bad enough that I had to deal with this mob. There were about three drunk guys who did nothing but lying flat on the floor, snoring and salivating like dogs. It was quite a disgusting and sad image. Then there was another guy who appeared to not only be drunk but badly intoxicated with many other, most likely not that legal, substances. He just kept on cussing and yelling, while trying to start a fight with everyone. There were also two platinum blond bimbo chicks chatting loudly and panicking how they had been caught shoplifting and complaining that their phones didn't get any wireless internet connection, which meant that they couldn't update their twitter-status.

I sat down on one of the bunk beds, sighing and once again thinking how this was going to be along night when I realized there was one more person in the room, whom I hadn't yet noticed. It was a girl, or rather a woman. She had long and strandy, dull, black hair, which was tangled and shabby. Her clothes were wrinkled but I could tell by the brand that they were indeed expensive. Her eyes were a muddy green and she had long, pale lashes, also her eyebrows were plucked into a thin curvy line. But the most astonishing factor about her was her laugh. Not cheerful and friendly like mine. Rather the contrary. It was loud and wild. And even tho I hadn't yet heard her say anything, the laugh seemed very cynical to me. She didn't stop laughing. She went on and on, like a mad person. I could hear it echoing on the walls of the cell. The suddenly, she stopped and gave me a large smile. However there was nothing nice about her smile. It was mocking, more of a grin than a smile. It was wide, revealing many teeth. I had to admit that it made me feel slightly uncomfortable. To my surprise she noticed my unease.

'Feelin' nervous Blondie? Scared of me?'

Before I could reply anything she broke out into her crazy laugher again. She wasn't under the influence of drugs, I could tell. Her mind was too sharp for that. But that could only mean she was mentally disturbed.

'You are mad.' I stated.

Her laugh become even louder.

'No, I'm Pi.' she corrected me.

'You're what?'

What did 'pi' mean? I had never heard that word in that context before. She answered me by carving the Greek letter 'π' into the cell wall with her fingernails.

'That is how I call myself.' she informed me.

'Is that your name?' I asked stunned. There sure were many weird parents out in the world that had decided to embarrass their children by giving them hideous names. 'Pi' was a new one to me. I hadn't heard that one before.

'No stupid. Pi's no name. It's how I call myself.'

'Why?'

'Because I like it.'

Okay, that's a reason- NOT! Seriously, what a hideous name, why would anyone call themselves that.

'I still think you're mad.' I told her. For some reason the nice-Max didn't come out when I talked to her. I usually kept my cover in front of everybody.

She laughed again. 'Yes darling, I am. And so are you!'

'Me?' she kept on astonishing me. I just couldn't make any sense out of her. Usually I could read people well. As I said, I'm a hyperconscious kind of person. But she was too confusing. While I was unable to comprehend what was going on, she enjoyed being in control.

'I've seen you around. You are a liar. Your actions are contrary to what you think. I can see it in your eyes.'

So the girl had followed me. What a creepy stalker. Anyways, in that moment I didn't really care about that detail. What interested me was that she could tell what a mask I wore in public.

'Is it very obvious.' I asked.

She shook her head rapidly and giggled maliciously.

'No, no, not to the others. But to me.' she tipped her forehead with her index finger and added 'I'm sharp.'

'I could argue that point. Obviously you're crazy.' I thought. However when I saw the content look on her face I realized I had said it out loud.

She once again fell into her signature laugh and then hissed 'Yes, yes, yes! We both are!'

I had to admit, she sure new her rhetorical techniques. Her emphasis on the 's' had caused a shiver to run down my spine and only contributed to me feeling creeped out. I was just about to protest when it all became clear to me. She was right. I too was mad. Being this narcistic and having a split personality sure were not signs of good mental health. Upon this catharsis my internal world changed completely. Maybe I should just accept it. This was me. I didn't want to be any other way. Yes I might be slightly insane.

Insane, I like the sound of that. Sanity didn't control me. I myself did. I had no moral backbone to stop my iniquitous though processes to occur. I wasn't restricted by anything. And it felt good. Marvellous! It was one of the best feelings I had in my life.

She too noticed my change of heart which caused her scary smile to appear on her lips again. And this time I joined in. We were both sitting about ten meters, she in a corner, me on my bed. But this smile connected us. We were indeed similar.

Suddenly she got up and started walking towards me, which gave me the opportunity to eye her from top to toe. I had to confess, she was actually not that unattractive. Pretty? Beautiful? Cute? No! She wasn't that. But there was something unique and interesting about her. She had long slender legs, curvy hips and a thin waist. Her bust wasn't exactly large, probably a small B cup which didn't really match the remainder of her physique. Also, as I had noticed before, she was dressed in preppy clothes. A long-sleeved blouse, tight pants stuffed into some shiny, leather boots and a Luis Vuitton belt with matching purse. It did seem quite odd to me that if she was that wealthy, she as well was this mad. And I couldn't help but wonder what was up with this mysterious woman.

xxx - xxx - xxx

While I was off in my thoughts, she had come very close without me noticing and before I had any time to react, she laid down in my bed, pushed me so that I lay next to her, and then slang her arms around my waist.

'What the hell! You realize this makes you a paedophile.' I informed her.

'Why, how old are you?' she asked while snuggling her face to my shoulder.

'17' I stumbled. I had to admit, she had caught me of guard and I did feel slightly uncomfortable in this situation.

'See, no problem, I'm 20. It's in the legal range.'

'If you say so…'

'I do!'

I sighed. Might as well give up.

'Okay, you are allowed to sleep in my bed. But if you dare kicking me or something, I'll throw you on the ground'

She didn't reply. Instead she started summing the melody 'Once upon a December' from the movie 'Anastasia'. I released another sight. Guess that that was something I had to deal with when sharing my bed with a mad person. At least that melody made me fall asleep.

**So how'd you like it? Sorry if this chapter is kinda boring, it's just the prelude. It gets better I promise. Don't worry, there wont be any PixMax action even if it seems like it in this chapter. KaixMax only… and brief MaxxHiro. Anyways, hope you liked it! Plz review if so ^^**

**Next chappie's Kai's POV, by the way.**


	2. KAI On Confusion

**Hello, it's me again (no shit!!!).**

**First off, thank you very much for reviewing ****chocolatexloverx16. ****Glad you like my name ^^**

**Well, here's a new chappie for everyone and especially you ****chocolatexloverx16****, enjoy!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade!**

**Few explanations: 'Bokanovsky group' is a reference to 'Brave New World' (yes another one, but I just love that novel!!!). It is pretty much a group of people all bread out of one oocyte. Hence everyone in one bokanovsky group is completely identical. The intelligence of a certain bokanovsky group is determined by giving the embryos a fixed amount of oxygen. The most intelligent ones are alpha's and the dumbest one's are Epsilon's. **

**It doesn't really matter to know that for the rest of the story but it just seemed to me like something Kai would think/say.**

**Warning: OOCness. Kinda obvious since the story is based on an OOC Max. lol**

* * *

Life hates me. Oh I am convinced of that. And to prove it to me once again, it created this day.

I got up at six sharp. I had stuff to do. Everyone at school might think that I am lazy as hell and the only thing I do at home is hang in front of the telly. They don't know anything about me. As a matter of fact, my daily schedule is compact and busy. I am a very organized person, not just some chaotic street punk like everyone thinks I am. So after I got up, I took a shower, got dressed, shaved etcetera. Then, at six thirty, I went to wake up my little girl. She's four years old, three foot nine with a mop of shoulder-length, bluish-black hair. And she is the most precious possession I have. I never thought I would have been made for being a father. If it were up to me, I would have left it to all the other guys. But once again my life decided to act against me. I was seventeen when I got a phone call from a lady, informing me that her daughter had died. First I was confused. I hadn't heard from her daughter in a few years and suddenly this lady called me up to give me that message. Like she expected me to feel sad about it. This might sound cruel but there was no reason for me to be upset. I had met her during a summer trekking camp in Siberia when I was fourteen. One night during a bonfire dinner, somebody had spiced the drinks and everybody got wasted (don't ask me where in the middle of the tundra he got the vodka from because it is a mystery to me as well). Anyways I, well, let's say I did something R-rated with that girl that night. The remainder of the week she avoided me and then when the summer camp was over I never heard from her again. Then three years later I suddenly find out I impregnated her and I am the dad of a two year old. And with the mother having died I am the official guardian. My grandfather freaked out when he found out. He disinherited me and kicked me out of his house. After spending a month living in a filthy hotel room I finally turned eighteen and decided to go to America. So now I'm living in a two-room flat in a suburb of Baltimore. It is quite a contrast to the mansion I used to live in back in Russia. I used to have butlers, chauffeurs, private teachers, a very own library, pool, spa, Jacuzzi…

Well, here I have a leaky roof and some ants crawling in the kitchen. But without the money I inherited from my parents this will have to do. I don't mind living in sparse conditions. It toughens the soul.

Anyways, after Anya woke up we ate breakfast together (that's her name by the way. Anoushka for long. Her mother named her after her great aunt 'Anna', pretty uncreative in my opinion). Then she got dressed and I walked her to the day-care centre. Afterwards I myself went to school. Not before getting changed of course. You see, each day I change in between two outfits. One, which I call my street-punk-getup and another one I named daddy-outfit. The street-punk one is composed of baggy training pants and a tight top together with a scarf and face paint. Pretty much everything that makes me look like the worst possible son in law. The daddy outfit is a mix of typical styles and clothing items that have been out of fashion for at least ten years. Exactly like a real Dad dresses! So today I opted for white tennis socks in sandals. A polo shirt stuck into khaki shorts (pulled up as high as possible of course!) and a baseball jacket with matching baseball cap placed backwards on my head. Yep that's the look!

Not just does it prevent me from drawing too much attention to myself, it also causes people from school to not recognize me. Who would have thought that the rebellious Kai Hiwatari has a fetish for walking around dressed like a hideous PE instructor? No one!

I entered the class room at 8:58 sharp. That ritual I follow everyday. Class starts at 9:00am and I have no intentions of being late. As rebellious as I like my reputation to be, I don't plan to add trouble with the immigration office to my list. As long as I go to school regularly I get a child-fund due to the fact that I do not have a full time job (yes, your government spends your tax money on immigrant, unemployed, teenage parents. Deal with it!). I am sure aware that the teacher never shows up before five past, however I'm better safe than sorry.

Like every morning, I encountered the common selection of pathetic dorks. And for a change their leader, a certain loser named Tyson or something like that, was actually on time. By the way, the only reason I know his name is because he announces it to everyone at least five times a day. Also, Tyson is the only person in school under the age of 30 who actually dresses unfashionable enough to look like a Dad. Therefore he also is one of my main inspirations to perfect my outfit. Apart from that, I see absolutely now point in his existence. He is just a waste of matter in the universal space stealing my oxygen.

Hailing Tyson is his usual crowd of geeks. All of course trying to talk at the same time, resulting in them yelling around to make sure they themselves and everyone in a radius of two kilometres can hear their voices.

I swear if Anya ever turns out like that, I'm gonna enrol her into a Military school in North Korea or whatever other country at that point happens to be known to be corrupt.

Class started at 9:06 after the teacher had finally arrived plus the four minutes wasted making lousy puns about the fact that Tyson actually was on time. The first class of the day was 'politics and Economics', commonly nicknamed 'polynomics' by my classmates. Personally I absolutely despise that name. First of all, it sounds like something of my math class, secondly 'poly' is a prefix used to indicate a sequence with many monomers and hence doesn't match the context; and finally why not just saying 'politics and economics' what the matter with wanting to crunch everything into a single word or even a single syllable?!

Still, 'politics and economics' is my favourite subject. It deals with the power influence of certain corporations and kinda reminds me of home, where BIOVOLT rules everything. And since life loves me so much (feel the sarcasm!) of course we talked about BIOVOLT that day. 'So Kai, since you're Russian, do you know who is going to be the heir once Voltaire retires?' the teacher suddenly asked me.

I shrugged. 'That's not published yet.'

It wasn't. Since my grandfather had disinherited me, I didn't have a clue who would be the new heir, not like he tells me his companies' matters over a cup of afternoon tea.

To my surprise the teacher shook his head. 'Haven't you heard that Nikolaj Hiwatari, Voltaire's grandson is going to take over the company?'

I flinched as I heard my own name. Still, I didn't like to way the teacher had been coming onto me. Who did he think he was, acting so superior and as if he knew everything even though what he was saying was for sure bullshit?

'_Haven't you heard_ that Nikolaj has been disinherited?' I countered.

The teacher crossed his arms and gave me an angry stare.

'No, I for sure haven't. And since I haven't heard about it and I'll be the one marking your tests you better write down what I say.'

Hn, whatever. I couldn't be bothered to argue with him. The teacher gave me an overconfident 'I won'-smile and continued with his PowerPoint presentation. Since life loves me so much and wanted to add another shock to my morning, the next tab appeared with a large picture of me.

It was a shot of me, aged about fifteen. I was wearing a black tux with matching bow-tie. My hair was still uni-coloured in bluish-black and side combed with a lot of gel. Gee, I looked like an Asian nerd, I realized. Then my eyes wandered to this Asian guy in Tyson's bokanovsky group of friends. Okay, I had to admit, even he looked cooler! Oi, this was bad. At least no one would recognize me.

'Hey, don't ya think that Nikolaj dude looks a lot like Kai?!' some loud, obnoxious brat yelled.

Oh wow, thanks a lot life. I knew I could always count on you to make my day even more miserable.

'Nope, all Russians have that unemotional look on their face. Call it their national facial expression.' the teacher replied.

For once I am glad he's racist!

The next slide was a mind map about me including my town of birth, political orientation and a faulty spelling of my name. 'Nikolai'. With an 'i' at the end instead of a 'j'.

I hate it when people miss-spell my name. Especially annoying now-it-all Westeners like my teacher and multiple PR managers of companies that I had been introduced to. I go by 'Kai' for short. And that is the reason for it!

I am a perfectionist. Deal with it or crawl into a corner and die!

I could bear staring at that spelling for five minutes while the teacher told the class some lies about my private life. Then something in my brain just popped.

'Sir, his name is spelled with a 'j' at the end.'

The teacher gave me an irritated look. He glanced at his PowerPoint slide and then back at me.

'No it's not!' he insisted with a sly voice.

'Yes, it is! Look it up on the internet or something.'

The rest of the class started giving me weird looks. Okay, so I had probably talked more in this one lesson than I usually did in an entire week… so what! No reason to eye me like that. Didn't they have the tits of some inappropriately dressed girl to stare at? Why my face?

I let my death glare wonder across the room from person to person until something unexpected struck me. This one guy, one from Tyson's bokanovsky group, short and blond, I had never before really noticed him; he didn't look back at me with that dumbfounded expression the rest of his classmates shared. Instead he smirked at me with an almost teasing smile. As if he knew!

Our eyes met but he didn't turn away like everyone else would've done. Instead he appeared to challenge me. We stared at each other for about thirty seconds until he really started to creep me out and I broke it off. Usually I would have never given in so easily but there was something about his grin that caused shivers to run down my spine.

Meanwhile the teacher had looked up the correct spelling of my name on the internet however still refused to change it. Supported only by the argument 'Wikipedia' is wrong sometimes. That might be true, but still, if every other webpage spells it the same way it strongly suggests that 'Wikipedia' might actually be correct.

I answered the dumb questions of my classmates on 'why I cared so much' simply by ignoring them and reoccupied myself with what I did everyday: Blank out and think about the weather. This I continued doing up until the moment somebody unkindly ripped me out of my thoughts.

Okay, I have to admit, it wasn't exactly 'unkind'. Not at all, it was rather gentle and hypnotising. At first I didn't noticed the soft humming of the all too familiar melody. But then it subconsciously started to form words in my mind.

_Dancing bears, __painted wings, things I almost remember!_

_And a song, someone sings, once upon a December._

I flinched. That song… it could only mean one person…

I jerked around to find out who was humming that melody. Turned out it was that blond kid from earlier. Impossible, no way they could have met! And even if, why would she have bothered with him? She was so picky usually.

Maybe it was just a coincidence. Yea, it had to be. The boy seemed like the kind of person who was into cartoons. Plus they were talking about Russia in class, so it wasn't too odd he was thinking of the 'Anastasia' movie. But then again, he had given me that look earlier. That cocky, teasing grin…

Kai, you're getting paranoid, I told myself! Of course he had no connection to her. He was way too stupid!

* * *

It seemed like forever until school ended that day. Oh wow, finally, I though. What a drag! And such a waste of time. If it wouldn't endanger my student visa I'd skip.

Anyways, I was on my way back home, walking because I didn't want to waste money on taking the bus. Everything appeared to be normal. _Appeared_, that is the keyword. I was being followed. And whoever it was certainly was good at his job. It took me a while before I realized he was there which is highly unusual for me, I tend to catch them immediately.

I stopped walking and remained completely still for a moment. No action coming from my spy. So it was my job to make him show himself. Hn, how typical.

'I know you're there, come out now.' I yelled.

At first I didn't receive any reply, they I suddenly heard a loud, maniac laugher echoing from the house walls of the narrow alley.

I turned around just to see nobody standing behind me. But the laugh came from that direction so he had to be there somewhere.

Then he stopped laughing and instead started to sing a song. His vocals were off and his voice much too wonky however that song I could recognize however bad the singer was.

_Someone hold me safe and warm, horses crench through a silver storm,_

_figures dancing gracefully, across my memory…_

That 'Anastasia' song again. What was up with that? It couldn't be a coincidence. But was it really that blond kid again. The tone of his voice was so different. It couldn't be.

I got my answer when the singer abruptly leaped into view. He jumped from behind a garbage can, still singing the song at highest volume but as well starting to kinda 'dance' to it. Well it wasn't really a dance; it was rather him just spinning around in circles with his arms spread out wide.

_Things my heart, used to know,_

_once upon a December._

Satisfied with his singing, he stopped, turned towards me and gave me a large grin.

It was the boy from earlier.

'What the hell is up with you?' I asked stunned and confused.

He really didn't make sense to me. At school he would always be a sweet, happy and slightly hyper school boy and here he was in front of me, acting like a madman.

'What's up with that harsh tone in your voice? Did I scare you?' he countered mockingly.

'Well as creepy as it is to have some random guy dancing around me, singing 'Disney'-songs, it needs more to scare me!' I hissed.

He laughed and slowly started to walk towards me.

'You know, actually that movie isn't 'Disney', it is by 20th Century Fox.'

He seemed to enjoy correcting me, I could tell so in response I rolled my eyes. I didn't really care by what company the movie was. It could have been by 'Lucas films' for what I cared.

'Whatever! The reason I'm here is to introduce myself. I am Max.' the boy continued.

I stared at the hand he had reached out to me and then the mischievous grin on his face.

'You don't need to introduce yourself to me. I already know who you are. We've been in the same class for one year.' I told him even though I actually hadn't had a clue what his name was.

He smirked.

'Don't tell me you actually bothered remembering my name? Of a loud and annoying classmate… Seriously, I'd be disappointed if so!'

He caught me. Dammit! Why could he read me so easily? And why had he just insulted himself? What were his intentions?

'Okay, you got me there.' I confessed. 'But you tell me now, how long have you known Pi?'

He smirked once again and started speaking in his mocking voice.

'Met her last night. She told me a bit about you. And this song that she uses to call you. 'Once upon a December'. Kinda gay in my opinion. But on the other hand, it's matching, since you are Russian after all, and also nobility, right _Nikolaj_?'

* * *

**Yay!!! It's up. Writing Max is so much for fun than writing Kai in this story since Kai's supposed to be naïve and blah…**

**So yea, sorry this took so long. I actually like Kai a lot since he's a traitor and awesome. Plus he's Russian. I happen to be part Russian so yea, NATIONAL PRIDE!!!! lol. But I don't speak the language unfortunately. I'm already trilingual and learning French at school so it isn't that upsetting but still T_T**

'**Nikolaj' is the name of some random Polish guy at my school and I really liked his name and I've wanted to use that name in some fic ever since! He went by 'Kai' for short too.**

**Anyways, I should stop talking crap and finally post it!!!**


	3. MAX On Dignity which he doesn't have

**Wow. I'm updating. Like a month too late!!! Sorry, I was on a family Holiday if you know what I mean…**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You rule!!!**

**I found an awesome 'yo mom joke'. I thought I should post it to honour my name: **

**Yo Mom is so fat, when she went to the movies, she sat next to EVERYONE!**

**XD Retarded, but made me laugh.**

**Kai is really naïve in this chapter. Or in this fic in general. Sorry about that. **

**D****unno what the hell I was thinking when writing this scene concerning Max ambitious…you'll see.**

**Anyways****, enjoy!! **

* * *

So I was standing opposite of Nikolaj Hiwatari, what a pathetic creature by the way. He was obviously confused by my greatness and had such a vulnerable lost-puppy-look in his eyes. Of course he had tried to tough it up by making the tone of his voice sound ridiculously deep, kinda like James Earl Jones breathing through an aqualung. How cute!

'That song isn't meant for me.' he finally stumbled. His voice now sounding slightly more confident.

I broke out in a loud hysteric laugh!

'Oh of course not! I know it's meant for ya little girl, big daddy. I just enjoy messing with ya.' I told him and gave him a manic grin.

He tried his best to remain emotionless, however I could see in his eyes that the fact that I knew about his daughter struck him by surprise and was greatly to his disliking.

Gosh, this guy was boring. I didn't see why Pi even bothered with him; he was about as talkative as a loaf of bread. And yes, I do happen to have conversations with toast –occasionally. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I have weird moods and feel like talking shit. While doing so, I don't really care if my addressor happens to be a human being or not.

Kai broke my stream of consciousness.

'You are strange.'

I smirked. 'No shit.'

'I see why you and Pi get along that well.'

I crossed my arms in front of him and countered. 'Well, I don't see why _you _two get along, since you are a BORE.'

'So if I am that uninteresting, why are you still talking to me?'

I started walking around him in circle motion, eyeing him from top to toe.

'Hmm, no reason.'

My steps started turning into small jumps and I started skipping around him, singing that Anastasia-song, acting as if he were a Christmas tree.

Wanna know why?

Because I felt like it! That's why.

'You act so different than like you do at school.'

'Way to go captain obvious, tell me something I don't know.'

'What's the third binominal formula?' was the cocky reply.

'Hmm, good one there, unfortunately I ordered you to _tell_ me something. So I'm sorry. No asking!'

'A minus B in parenthesis squared equals A minus B in parenthesis times A plus B in parenthesis.'

Oh, so he wanted to play a game. How interesting.

'Excuse me, what do you call that strange configuration?' I asked in a mockingly naïve tone.

He gave me an annoyed glance however continued with our game. Seemed to me as if he enjoyed it to. Just once again to proud to admit it, that sad, young boy.

'It is the third binominal formula.' he muttered in an irritated tone.

I leaned my head against his shoulder and looked up at him with large, puppy dog eyes. 'That is so fascinating. Teach me more, Mr Teacher. I want to learn.'

He jerked his shoulder trying to get me off.

'Cut it out. And now leave me alone, I don't have time for this.'

'Oh, yes of course.' I replied. 'Since you have a certain _job_ to attend to.'

I could tell how he went pale, which was greatly amusing for me however most likely quite awkward for him. Pi had told me about his job the night we met in the prison cell. Due to the fact that I am quite the insomniac and had a fashion of waking up at hideous hours in the middle of the night, I once again, _surprise, surprise_, woke up at a hideous hour in the middle of the night. She happened to have a similar problem. So the odds allowed us to awaken at the approximately same time.

So we talked.

She said something.

I said something.

She asked something.

I asked something.

She told me something.

I told her something.

…I take it, you get the point…

Anyways, in this conversation at a hideous hour in the middle of the night the topic slowly started evolving around Pi's workplace and a naïve protégée she had taken under her wing. This person, you guessed it, happened to be our little Kai Hiwatari.

With whom, by the way, I was having a conversation with at this very moment.

'A little sleazy, don't you think? No offence, but I always expected you to be the OCD kind of guy.'

Oh how I loved teasing him. I could do it all day.

Kai stared at me with a slightly confused expression that soon turned into a forced, apathetical one.

'It is _not_ sleazy. And what does OCD stand for anyways?'

OCD. Funny little acronym. If you google it, your search engine will pop out words like:

-Out of Cell Delineation

-Ocean Chemistry Division

-Operational Capability Development

-Ontario College Diploma

Most of which oddly have distantly something to do with science, if I may remark. But none of these options include the one that I am hinting (which by the way happens to be way more popular and generally known):

'Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.'

Straight forward reply, without any verbs or adjectives to reduce its powerful effect. Yay for Max, master of rhetorical techniques, I've done it again!

And as reward for my artistic, yet simple use of language I received a puzzled look of Kai.

'What? I do _not_ have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.'

'If so, why do you have the urge to emphasise the 'not' to a ridiculous extent whenever you use it.'

'I do _not_!'

He just realised that he had just proven my point and did a nippy move to cover his mouth as if that would make it undone.

I didn't bother giving him an 'I told you so'. He had realised it on his own.

'Whatever. My job isn't sleazy. It's not like I'm an actor. I just help out building the sets and cleaning stuff etcetera.'

'Merely the fact that you work for the _porn industry_ makes it sleazy. I doesn't matter what you do. You could unplug the toilets for what I care, it is the fact that you get your weekly pay check from the 'Cockpit-Dicktionary Adult Film Company' that does all the magic and turns it into a sleazy job.'

'Well, it was great to hear your opinion Max. Wish I could talk for longer but unfortunately I have to go work my _sleazy job_ now. So long!'

He made an abrupt waving move with his hand and then turned around to leave.

'Oh you're not getting rid of me that easily. I'm coming with you.'

'Why would you do that?'

'Turn around Hiwatari, look at me and take it all in. I am the company's new top star. And I order you to bring me to the studio!'

-----------------

After Kai's initial puzzlement over the fact that I had signed a contract with the company and the following grim awareness that he now was my servant he reluctantly brought me to the main quarters which turned out to a classroom in the local community college labelled 'Film appreciation society'. So they were running an Indie adult film business under the cover of being a geek club. Impressive!

Once I got there I got introduced to all the dorks which included three 'Eugene's' two 'Wesley's' one 'Sheldon' and some loser who insisted on being called 'Anakin'. So of course, being me, I called him 'Leslie' just to piss him off (That wasn't actually his real name; I came up with it because it sounded gay). Like you'd expect from just hearing their names, they all pretty much looked geeky apart from one of the 'Eugene's'. He was tall, blonde with a defined six-pack and broad shoulders. I'll refer to him as 'hot Eugene' from now on to avoid confusion. There were some girls of course. An Asian techie whose name I didn't even bother memorising (all I know is that it involved 'Lee') plus a fugly geek girl whose name I didn't bother memorising because she was fugly. And then there was Pi of course dressed in a bra top and pleather leggings looking like quite the babe.

I went on signing some formalities and handing them a form I had my Dad sign to allow me to star in a pornographic movie although I was underage. Of course, being a normal and boring Dad, he would never actually allow me to do porn, but what do you expect from me, naturally I wasn't dumb enough to go up straight forward and ask him, I carefully hid the form between lots of school stuff that he had to sign. The thing is, my Dad is really enthusiastic about reading whatever he's signing at first; however he already loses his interest after reading the first paragraph on the first effing page. As you can tell, he is a very persistent man. NOT!

'Do you want to use an artist name?' hot Eugene asked me.

'To hide your identity.' fugly Eugene added. I was tempted to give him a 'No shit captain obvious' however repressed that urge since I had no intention of loosing an easy and well paid job.

'Sure thing.' I replied and scribbled a name on a sheet of paper. Pi read it and gave me a grin.

'That's a good one. Kai, don't ya wanna see Max artist name? Come over here.'

'I'll pass.' Kai replied grumpy from over at the supply closet where he was mopping the floor.

Pi shrugged and smirked at me. 'His bad.'

I laughed back at her.' Indeed.'

-----------------

As hard as Kai tried to not be involved he was forced to later on when they were experimenting with the lighting for the movie. It was quite amusing to watch him holding up a giant lamp that flashed light at my body while trying desperately not to look at my crotch.

'Kai, go pose with Max, I want to see the effect of the light falling onto two people, I'm afraid the shadowing might be too strong.' Pi suddenly suggested with an evil expression of schadenfreude on her face.

I had to admit, that girl had some good ideas. The shadowing might be too strong, my ASS! It was incredibly entertaining to have an extremely awkward Kai standing close to my naked body, replicating erotic poses while trying to make it seem discreet.

'So, who're gonna be my co-stars? They better not be ugly. Or small in the wrong areas. I am _not_ screwing A-Cups or 3 inch-ers. Or anyone present in this room as a matter of fact. Apart from Pi and hot Eugene maybe.'

Dunno if he got my teasing emphasis-on-the-'not' hint. I doubt it. Or he might have just chosen to ignore it.

'You'll have two co-stars.' Kai explained using a matter-of-fact business voice. 'One of them is Candy, a fake-breasted, bottle-blond bimbo who's majoring in psychology here at the community college. The other one is some sad nymphomaniac from our high school. I can't really tell you if he's attractive or not since I'm not gay.'

Kai is so adorable. He's always trying to act tactful and serious no matter what the situation is. Even though he was standing arms wrapped around some naked guy who was about to shoot an adult film he was saying stuff with an indifference as if he was talking about the Middle Eastern crisis in Polynomics.

'Why are you doing this in the first place? Don't you have any self-respect or dignity?' he suddenly asked.

I smirked. 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.'

He gave me an odd look probably not understanding what the hell I was saying. Then finally, he shrugged.

'Yea, whatever.'

-----------------

It was about seven a clock when I got back. In nice-and-sweet-Maxie time that is four in the morning. So my Dad was acting like a complete bender (I'm not implying that my father is gay, I have just been in the mood to use that word in every inappropriate context since a while ago. What I'm trying to say: he was completely bollocks!). After wasting half an hour of my precious life listening to my Dad dramatising about me being kidnapped and murdered when I am out 'late' since it is 'dark' (YOUR MOM is late at seven pm) I could finally convince him that I actually got the point (your Mom is indeed late at seven pm). Afterwards I went up in my room, skilfully ignoring the repetitive messages from Tyson on my phone to call him back, instead deciding to take an early night, not to forget: looking forwards to some good old fashion in-out!

So long!

* * *

**It's done!!! And I feel like such a pervert. Porn. WTF! Initially I had planned to make it that Max prostitutes himself because he enjoys some 'old in out, real savage!' but then I thought that might be too dramatic and does not really fit the mood of this fic. **

**Sorry about my excessive usage of British expressions like 'nippy', 'bender' or 'bollocks'. I'm not actually British (I'm Swiss, dunno if I mentioned it before, but anyways I am). I just happen to have a thing for British comedy show****s and felt like putting random words in that I liked. **

**Did anyone actually get the 'A clockwork orange' reference at the end?**

**Sorry for all my references, I'm addicted to references, lol.**** I even quoted Hamlet. It's the part with weird grammar in kinda old English that Kai doesn't get.**

**Next chapter is the POV of Max' co-star. I challenge you folks to guess who it is, hehe. I wonder if anyone gets it!**


	4. HIRO On Addictions

**Wow, being back to school is really making me update faster than usual. It's only been about a week and a couple of days. I would have posted it last night but my internet was being a bi**h! This has also been the longest chapter I have ever written for fanfiction. EVER.**** Nine pages. About five thousand words!!!! Okay, some authors write that amount or even more for each chapter. I totally admire you folks!!! I wish I were more like you! *sulk***

**For me this is a personal record, nine pages in 10 days during a school week…**

**Hehe, wait until exam time. One update a day!!!!**

**I'm kidding. ; )**

**Okay, now I'm revealing the big secret! **

**Maxie's co-star is….**

**-**

**-**

**-**

**-**

**HIRO!!!!!**

**He's one of my favourite characters! I love him almost as much as Maxie and Kai. **

**So, I wanna know, did anyone guess right (about Max' co-star that is)?**

**Whatever, let's get on with the chapter and it's intriguing first line…**

* * *

This morning I peed all over myself in the shower. I was too tired to realize where exactly I was at that moment so it just happened. Anyways, it wasn't nice. Rather disgusting really. Then, once I got out, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and hit my arm against the toilet seat. So my arm hurt. And I had sports first period.

Perfect!

After finishing in the bathroom I decided to take a nap since I still had about half an hour left before breakfast. That was a terrible mistake by the way! To cut it short, I had an erotic dream, but before I came, the alarm went off. I tried to jerk off to realease that sexual stress but it didn't work out. Great, so now I would be horny for the rest of the day!

At breakfast I couldn't help but thinking how much that loaf of bread resembled a dick or the scones looked like titts. Probably I was staring at my food with some really lusty look since even my younger brother Tyson seemed to realise and asked me:

'Hiro, if you want that food so much why don't you just eat it already?'

Oh I wanted that food, aright, but I had different plans in mind with it...

Oh what the hell was I thinking again!!!

Was I starting to get food-philia now? Oh please don't, that's not even a word. On my horny days I am attracted to everyone or everything that distantly resembled an intimate part of the human anatomy. The only thing that could help me to get rid of this persisting lust is sex. Not even good sex, just sex in general. It could be the suckiest, most pathetic sex ever, I didn't care, I was horny!!!

Urgh! I'm an nymphomaniac. I've realised that so far and I've come to accept it which apparently is supposed to be a huge step in getting rid of the condition but so far that fact hasn't helped me at all. It rather made it worse. Like after having gone to a nymphomaniacs anonymous meeting once, I returned having found a fuck-buddy and we did it every day from then on. Until he decided to actually give up on sex, which he unfortunately managed to as well. While his condition was improving, mine was getting worse. Before the meeting, I had been a virgin, and it had only been harmless masturbating a couple of times a day ( okay, at least five times!). But now I wanted the real thing. And unfortunately, that was way harder to get.

During school I couldn't concentrate at all. It was hell, then finally, at lunch time when I did my voluntary detention supervision I saw this guy, Kai, again. I'm the school captain. That doesn't mean I'm popular, though. At my school the teachers select the school captain, and unfortunately that was me this year. So since I'm quite a loser and didn't really have friends to hang out with, I volunteered to always supervise detention during lunchtime. At least it gave me something to do. My permanent guest was my classmate Kai (seriously, he should have it on his schedule, that's how often he came). Although, I did doubt that he actually got in trouble that much really, in fact, I think he didn't have anything better to do so he just went to the detention room out of boredom, like me. Usually we were the only ones present. The others either didn't show up or went to the after-class detention (nobody wanted to miss out on their lunchtime. Since that was the time normal people would hang with their friends).

'Yo.' Kai said.

'Hey yourself.' I greeted him back.

I know this may sound odd, but me the picture perfect student and the school rebel actually had some civil conversations with each other. Quite frequently, as a matter of fact. I think it's because we both didn't really have friends. He was, by the way the only other person at school who knew about my problem. I don't know why I told him of all the people and not someone in the group of nerds that I usually hang out with if I actually _am_ with people. I suppose he's just the kind of guy you could trust since he kept to himself and, frankly, never really talked to anyone apart from me.

'Kai, today's a really BAD day again.' I confessed.

He knew immediately what I meant.

'You had another one of those dreams?'

'Yes. And seriously Kai, I'm about to explode. Can we have sex?'

'No.'

I always got that reply from him whenever I ask him. However, it was BAD so I desperately tried to hope for mercy.

'Please Kai. It's an absolute emergency.'

'Forget it, I'm not sleeping with you.'

'Anal isn't that bad, it actually feels quite nice, you can top me if you want...'

'Just give it up Hiro.'

Usually I would have since he wouldn't give in anyways, but that day, I was horny as hell so I kept on sulking.

'Pleeease!!!'

'Please yourself!'

'Doesn't work, I already tried.'

'Do it again.'

'I did! Three times already.'

He stared at me with one of his typical blank looks but knowing him for a while, I was well aware that hidden in his emotionless expression was clearly a 'you are so pathetic'-stare. Then suddenly he sighed.

'Okay, you know what. I bring you that explicit European orgy porn mag that is illegal in the states, the one I got you in Russia for emergencies. _But_...you have to do something for me...'

'No prob!' I ensured him.

To prove my point, I walked right in front of him, kneed down and started to unzip his cargo pants.

'NOT THAT!!!'

I flinched. It took me by surprise that he suddenly started yelling and jerked away from me. But after realizing what the hell I had tried to do, it kinda did make sense to me why he had pulled back.

'Sorry.' I mumbled. And I actually meant it.

'What the hell! I thought you knew that I'm not the kind of person who would ever ask you to give him a blow job.' he replied, trying to sound confident. However I could tell that he was actually kind of anxious. His accent was lagging. Instead of 'person' it sounded like 'perrrson' and 'give' sounded like 'geeve'. Normally his English was perfect. His Russian accent would only hang out when he got upset. It was good as a warning shot though. Like I knew that he was really pissed at me and I should take my distance when he'd call me a 'Stuhpid Bastarrrd'.

Don't get me wrong. I don't intend to make fun of his accent. It just sounds really odd and out of place so I can't stop myself from laughing. Ever. Including this time.

'Oh for crying out loud.' Kai mumbled. 'Can't you be any less of a baby?'

He was still doing the accent.

'Say something!' I encouraged him.

He continued with his harangue: 'Nympho or child, you have to decide on what you want to be.'

'Can you say: Bananarama?' I begged him.

'Why do I even bother with you?' he countered.

'Bananarama!'

I insisted on it.

'Shut up, Hiro. I'm not going to say that to save my life!' he yelled.

'Bananarama!'

'If you say that word one more time I will go get your sleazy mag and shove it up your anus!'

'Hmm, I think I might actually enjoy that...' I confessed.

'Oh for crying out loud!' he repeated. 'How horny are you?'

'Very.'

He sighed. 'Okay. Since you're that pathetic I'll have mercy. You do my deed, and I get you your mag before the end of lunch even.'

I opened my mouth to say something but he cut me off before I could even bring out a tone:

'You can sulk as much as you want to, I still wont shove it up your anus.'

'I wasn't going to ask for that.'

'Yea right, what were you going to do?'

'Asking you what deed you had in mind for me.'

That was the truth. Dunno if he believed me or not, let alone cared, anyways a sly, slightly sly, disturbing smirk started to appear on his face. Oh boy, I just hoped that didn't have anything to do with my deed.

-----------------

Apparently it did. But even five minutes later, Kai hadn't even dropped a hint. Which wasn't good for my mental health since with every passing second I started to get more and more disturbed out by his plan. Which was staggering, considering I didn't even know what it involved yet.

Momentarily, Kai and I were "hiding" behind a pillar. I was staring at him nervously while he had taken pleasure to the irritable habit of slurping the content of a cup of coke through a straw just to piss me off.

'Could you please stop that.'

'Worried you're gonna piss yourself again?' he replied mockingly.

'How do you know about my incident?' I asked him startled. Oh no, what if that shower incident had come out and rumours were now coursing all around the school.

'You told me like 5 seconds ago.' Kai informed me.

'I did? I can't remember.' I actually couldn't.

'Doesn't surprise me, judging from the amount of bullshit that comes out of your mouth all day.'

'Wow, maybe I should cut down on talking...'

'In that point you're incredibly similar to your brother. You both always talk lots of crap and way too much of it.'

'Thanks Kai, you're such a charmer.'

As a reply he stuck out his tongue.

And he's calling_ me_ childish...

In an act of revenge I grabbed his coke, took a zip and chucked the rest into the bin.

'Hey what'ya do that for? I paid for that coke!' he pouted.

'No you didn't, you stole it of a random table.'

He didn't even bother denying it.

'Are you aware that we just indirectly kissed.' he hinted with a sneaky voice.

I gave him an odd look.

'Stop with the gay mood, it's starting to seriously creep me out.'

'Oh I'm so sorry.' he replied with fake innocence. 'It's just that it reminds me of your deed.'

I don't even wanna know what awaits me...

Suddenly something must have had caught his eye since he started smirking. I looked over in his direction. My younger brother Tyson and his two mates had just walked into the cafeteria. I didn't see a reason why either of them would make Kai smirk. But since Kai generally didn't make sense, that trio turned out to be indeed the reason for his smile.

'So, no that your fellow victims have arrived, it's time to fulfil your deed.' he announced.

I just nodded waiting for my instructions. I already had a broad idea of what it could be: most likely something socially embarrassing that would make me more of a loser than I already am. Great! Oy, the things a man does for his dick...

Kai started pointing at the threesome (yes, I am aware of the double meaning!!!! Live it and love it!).

'You see that guy over there, the blond one?'

'Yea, his name is Matt or something like that.'

'Max.' Kai corrected me. I suppressed an urge to ask why the hell he even knew/ cared.

'Well, I want _you_...' (may I remark that he emphasised the "you" to an ridiculous extent.) 'I want _you_ to walk up to Max and come on to him. Get his mobile phone number and you get your mag.'

'What?! Are you crazy? My brother is over there.'

He mockingly raised an eyebrow.

'Oh, you bastard! That was your intention all along.' I figured.

'What can I say, I enjoy seeing you in pain.'

'S/M addict.'

'Sex addict.'

Shit, he got me there.

'Anyways, I'm not doing it. Not in front of my brother.'

Kai started unbuttoning his tight shirt, slowly revealing his sexy abs under it. 'Oh my, I'm so hot!' He said in a tacky voice. He didn't even bother putting some acting skills into it. Real or not real, his gaudy move had me go all bananas inside, or rather, a certain part of me went all bananas.

'Fine, fine. I'll do it. You suck at seduction by the way.'

He shrugged and buttoned up his shirt.

'Worked on you.'

It did, and I hated myself for it.

I sighed. 'I can't believe I'm actually doing this.' then I took a deep breath and walked up towards Tyson and his friends.

'Hey, Hiro.' Ty yelled.

'Hey.'

But instead of going to him and doing our secret handshake routine, I stopped in front of Matt.

'Hey Matt.'

He gave me a confused yet friendly look.

'Actually it's Max, but you can call me Matt if you prefer that.' he offered.

He was so sweet and innocent. I couldn't believe I was actually going to do this. Urgh... I couldn't, but I had to...

'I love you.'

Tyson somehow managed to make a sound as if he had just choked on his drink without even having had a drink, that random Chinese guy they always were hanging out with gasped and Max went entirely pink.

'What do you mean Hiro?'

'You know, sex and stuff. Can I have your mobile number?'

Gosh, I suck at flirting. But Max seemed so naive, I was convinced he would still give it to me. Well, I certainly didn't account for that Chinese dude.

'Max, don't give it to him. Tyson, make your pervo-pedo brother piss off.' he ordered them.

Oh shit, this wasn't looking well. But I needed that phone number. I needed that magazine!!!

'Okay, okay.' I confessed. 'It's a bet, kinda. I was supposed to seduce him.' I looked directly at Blondie and whispered. 'The bait is your phone number, Max. No harms intended, would you mind giving it to me?'

Before he could even react, we got interrupted by Kai.

'I heard that, macho!' he yelled from behind the pillar.

Oh dammit!

He came walking up to me.

'Kai: one! Hiro: zero! Muhahaha, it even rhymes!'

'Great Catharsis. You should be proud of yourself.' I said sarcastically.

'I am!' he countered grinning.

Max stared back and forth at both me and Mr Super-Catharsis

Kai, then he started giggling, clapped my shoulder.

'Too bad mate. Just so you know, I would've helped you win.' he ensured me.

In that moment I was wondering if it was just me being wannabe-psychic again or if he actually had addressed a mocking tone towards Kai.

'Sweet kid, isn't he?' Kai whispered to me. Again, it seemed as if he was being sarcastic. Odd. Seriously. What was up with all that?

After begging Kai multiple times to have mercy with me after all, I finally convinced him to give me that mag even though I kinda failed in performing my deed (kinda? I EPICALLY failed!). At last, I could lock myself into a toilet cubicle and release my 'stress' (which I ended up doing, and I ought to comment it doesn't surprise me the least that this mag's illegal in the states). I have to confess, I might have been kinda noisy but I just thought to myself: eh, whatever, not like anyone's there. They have class now.

But unfortunately, blinded from nymphomania, I failed to include the 'skippers' as I like to call them (those who skip their classes). So when I opened the door to my cubicle to get out and return to class I was greeted by a duo of skippers laughing their bums off.

'Hiro Kinomya! Wow, I have to say, I didn't expect that.' one of them said.

'Haha, our humble school captain is a wanker!' another one added.

Then they both started dancing around me singing 'Wanker! Wanker!'

Oh shit!

Why would these things always happen to me? Gosh, how I hated this.

'I wasn't wanking, I've got a urinal infection, so it hurts whenever I take a piss.' I lied, hoping that it would clear my name, however not realising that what I had just said only made it worse.

'Haha, our humble school captain's got some STD's!

Oh goodness, gracious! I am never skipping class again.

I decided to ignore the bunch of idiots and left the bathroom. The last thing that I could hear of them was:

'Haha, our humble school captain didn't wash his hands.'

Oh, true, I didn't. I had completely forgotten due to the stress. But no way I'd go back into that bathroom. Instead I went over to a water cooler to just pour some water over them to get rid of the... ya know!

What were those two guys doing in the bathroom anyways? Weren't teenage boys too 'cool' nowadays to go to the bathroom in couples? That's as far as I knew, I didn't know for sure of course since I didn't actually have friends. There was this group of guys I would sometimes tag along with, living my philosophy of: If you cling onto someone for long enough, they'll eventually become your friend.

So yea, I'd stalk them.

At dinner I tried everything to avoid an awkward conversation with my brother. I even decided to sing so that whenever he would start talking to me I could pretend I didn't hear him. He did some attempts of course. Multiple attempts, but it wasn't until I was loudly singing 'Yellow submarine' and the neighbours came over to complain about the noise that this plan of mine, like most of my other plans, epically failed.

Now I couldn't pretend anymore, that I didn't hear him. Dang!

Even though I tried desperately to distract him from the topic (and by tried desperately I mean something like this:

Tyson: 'So Hiro, what I wanted to talk to you about...'

Me: 'Ty, can you pass me the tomato sauce?'

Tyson: 'Yea sure, so what I wanted to talk to you about...'

Me: 'Ty, you mind passing me the Mayonnaise?'

etc.) Unfortunately after having asked for the tomato sauce for the fifth time he kinda figured what I was trying to do (especially after remembering that I actually hated tomato sauce). So he forced me to sit down straight and tape-covered my mouth with duct tape.

'So, now that you cannot interrupt me anymore, what the hell was up with this flirting-with-Max thing today?'

Smart Tyson, how the hell was I supposed to answer with duct-tape covering my mouth?! He realised his mistake and pulled it off quite painfully.

'Argh, Ty, that hurt.'

'Sorry.'

I opened my mouth to say something but before I had the opportunity to do so he interrupted me:

'Don't you dare ask me to pass you the tomato sauce. I'm not falling for that one again.'

Why does everyone always assume that I am going to say something 'bad' (okay, asking for tomato sauce isn't really bad, shoving a magazine up private parts is).

'Nothing's up. It was a bet, that's all!'

'Really... well I never guessed you to be the type who's into gay kind of bets...or am I mistaken?'

He was circling me like an animal would circle it's prey. When had he become so good at interrogating people? It was downright creepy.

'It was more of a dare actually. I would kinda get something afterwards.'

'What could Kai possibly give you that you would want.'

An illegal porn mag.

But of course I didn't say that. Instead I opted for something much more boring and geeky.

'I had to do a presentation in Literature, but I had left my USB with my PowerPoint at home so since he is the one who would have to hold his presentation before me I asked him to stall some time so that hopefully the lesson would end before it was my turn.'

We actually did have to do a presentation in Literature. And it was also true that I couldn't do it that day because the time ran out. So in case Ty would go around questioning people, I kinda had an 'alibi' –sort of (yea, yea, alibi is not the correct term, I know).

Ty nodded but continued to circle me.

'Could you please stop doing that, it's making me dizzy!' I hissed.

I didn't mean to sound that harsh but the way he was accusing me of being some sort of pedo was quite irritating (Max isn't even two years younger than me. He's in the year below me at school and seventeen turning eighteen in a couple of weeks, according to Kai).

Anyways, Ty ignored me (people tend to do that a lot lately) and continued with his interrogation.

'So, Hitoshi Kinomya, -if that is even your name-.'

'Of course it is my name. And you are my brother, you _know_ it is, don't give me that lawyer routine.'

Again, he ignored my inquire.

'Okay, Hitoshi Kinomya, do you or do you not have any romantic or sexual feelings regarding Matthew Tate?'

'Who the hell is Matthew Tate?' I asked. Honestly, I had never heard that name before.

'Max!' Tyson replied slightly annoyed.

So his full name was Matthew, heh. I bet not even Kai that stalker had known that little detail, hehehe.

Back to the interrogation starring Tyson Kinomya as 'Judge Judy' and Hitoshi as 'some random pedo dude'.

'I don't.' I answered sighing.

'Does the suspect swear to never again come onto Mr Matthew Tate, let alone perform sexual intercourse with the named prospect.'

'Wow, when did you learn to articulate like that? It is quite impressive.' I commented. It was true! I had never expected that my baby brother was capable of such a distinctive vocabulary.

'Don't get off the topic!' Tyson commanded.

'Sorry, I promise to not come onto Max...'

'Prospect Tate!' he corrected me.

'I promise not to come onto _Prospect Tate_ or to have sex with him. Happy now?'

"Judge Judy" shrugged. 'Yea, that'll do. By the way, Max will be there in about half an hour, I'll go take a shower.'

Then he left the room, moments later I could hear water running in the bathroom.

Wow, I though to myself, that was weird!

-----------------

Max didn't come half an hour later.

Instead he showed up at the door approximately five minutes after my court verdict.

'Um, hi. Ty's in the shower.' I mumbled. He must have been thinking I was some closet freak since I appeared to find the pink remainder of strawberry gum stuck onto the pavement more interesting than his face. To be honest, I was way too embarrassed to look at him after what had happened earlier that day. I'm not getting turned on by gum. Not yet at least...

'So, can I come in?' he asked.

In that moment I realised that I was still standing in the door frame, blocking the entrance for him. Instead of answering I moved a couple of steps to the side, allowing him to enter. He walked into the kitchen and sat down on top of the dinner table. He was hell lucky that gramps wasn't there in that moment. He would've kicked him of the table and made him dance the Macarena... in front of a bunch of first graders (believe me, I speak from experience). I was just about to go up the stairs when Max called me.

'Hey, don't you want to keep me company a bit? It is quite boring all alone. Don't you think?'

Oh boy, what should I do now? It would be rude to decline. He was a guest after all.

'Um sure.' I said and sat down on a chair, as far away from possible. I didn't want him to think that I was coming onto him.

'You don't have to sit all the way over there, there is enough space on the table for both of us.'

Wait a sec, was he coming onto me?

I gave him a slightly confused look catching him smiling at me.

'Hiro, want me to give you a blow job?'

In that moment my jaw dropped.

Okay Hiro, keep calm. He is coming onto you. No reason to panic. He is just mocking you. You promised Ty you wouldn't touch him.

But he was so attractive. Why hadn't I ever noticed before? His body was slightly smaller than mine, more petite. And he had the most angelic face. Dammit, I wanted to do him right here and now. But he was joking of course. Why would he want me? That was silly. He wasn't a nympho. He was a sweet and innocent model student.

'Oh, I see. Maybe you prefer to give me one. Like you wanted with Kai.' he said in a mocking tone, acting as if he were in deep thought.

'What?! He told you that? That bastard.'

I couldn't believe Kai would backstab me that way. I had actually come to assume that he was a friend, kind of.

'Ey, don't flip. He was trying to help you, so he suggested that we should get it on.'

By 'get it on' he most likely meant having sex. Urgh! Was Kai getting completely naive now? It was just not normal to walk up to a random dude and suggest him to go screw another guy.

'Matthew, I'm sorry if Kai molested you in any way, I'm going to have a serious talk with him tomorrow and tell him... Oh my gosh! What the hell are you doing?'

The innocent and sweet model student opposite of me had just pulled his shirt over his head revealing a maybe not too muscle-packed but nicely-tanned and flat stomach. Currently he was undoing his pants as well.

'What does it look like I'm doing? Now you hurry up as well. I'm not that keen on having Tyson walk in on us having sex.'

I was extremely confused. Was he actually being serious? Oh no, a certain feeling was coming back. Please not, I had promised Tyson.

The fact that I was still gasping motionless at Max across the room had caused him to come over to me to start unbuttoning my shirt.

'Some nympho you are...'

Then he kissed me. How could a person that looked so sweet and pure kiss somebody this violently? It was almost a rape kind of kiss. He hadn't even bothered starting with a peck, he went full on tongue.

I broke free from his embrace.

'I promised Ty.'

'Screw him.' Max countered. 'Cause I'm now going to screw you.'

Then he ripped off my shirt and pulled me along, placing me harshly onto the table so I was lying back-to-back with the hard wooden surface while he was hovering above me, slowly trailing his tongue down my abs towards the brim of my pants.

'I promised Ty.' I mumbled one last time. Then the nymphomaniac in me took over and I gave in to my lust.

I pulled his head back to my face, aggressively kissing his lips, tongue bashing him until he released a deep sigh. I saw him smirking down at me.

'Nice, nice. That's exactly the way I it expected from you.'

I ignored his comment and made my hand wander along his back, down to the pants region.

'I'd say we do it as Kai told us to and "get it on", wouldn't you agree Maxie?'

'Certainly.'

* * *

**Hehe, did anyone guess Hiro??? I was actually deciding between a bunch of people including Rei and Tala but then I decided to, for a change, actually have SOME in character so Rei was out and having two insane protagonists would've just been overkill and a bit dull. So yea, the choice was the slightly awkward, clumsy brother of Tyson (ok, he's OOC after all, but not as much as the others). Plus I want to write some funky scene in which Tyson finds out that not just his BFF but also his very own BROTHER are 'in business'.**

**The thing about if you stick to a person long enough you'll become friends, I've got from 'the inbetweeners'. But it's SO true, wouldn't you agree? Don't we all have at least one Will who randomly snuck himself into our friends group?**

**lol, Hiro is a briefcase wanker!!!**

**(those who don't watch 'the inbetweeners' probably don't get that…sry) **

**By the way, I decided to change the category into humour instead of angst. I think it's more sarcastic than creepy (or maybe it's just my odd sense of humour). Especially with Mr Briefcase Wanker around…**

**As I said before, I'm part Russian, so all the Russians reading this, don't take the accent part too serious, ok? I'm not trying to insult anyone, I'd be insulting myself as well, lol. And as much as I enjoy inflicting pain to myself, the part is not supposed to be offensive. Peace? : )**


	5. MAX On FUN

**Hello folks. Another update! Sorry, this took about a month. I was picky with it! I used a bit of cockney slang in it. I quite like that slang. It's intr****iguing! Anyways, here are some translations:**

**Cockney slang translations:**

**pony- rubbish**

**taking the Mickey on someone- mocking someone**

**sooka- bitch (people say sooka quite a lot in my area, it comes from a Russian expression, if I'm not mistaken)**

**J Arthur Rank – wank / masturbate**

**mush- companion**

**telly- television (that's not actually cockney, but might be a word some might get confused with)**

**So yea, I should stop talking, here's the new chapter and it's from Max' point of view again. Yay**

* * *

After five extensive minutes of being engaged in country matters, we both moaningly agreed, to 'call it a day'. I announced that I would go stalk Tyson. Hence leaving Hiro to clean up the mess. He was a filthy character anyways, - in more than just one sense.

Since my not all too eminently practical companion appeared to enjoy excessive showers, stalking Tyson pretty much meant placing my lower behind onto the dimly vibrating radiator opposite of the bathroom door, -and then to wait.

I was waiting for approximately eight minutes, sharp.

After approximately eight minutes sharp, the scrounchy old door was slid open with a scrounchy old sound, by none other than, you've guessed it, my dim companion with a fetish for wasting time in intensely smelly bathrooms.

'Gah Max, you here? Gee you scared me' he confessed, of course, in all too familiar habit, he was disregarding the rules of English grammar and sentence syntax. But what should I expect from such a peasant like him? But oh my, I can't blame my optimistic character for setting expectations that high...

However since I was in for a sleepover, I did what was the easiest for my mind to bear, which is simply shut off and play along.

'Tyson, Tyson, yay! ' I squeaked in a sincerely high pitch tone, jumping on him and to make matters worse -to all extent even glomping him.

My dumbfounded act had many profits, for example I could enjoy the right to call him 'Titty' in public, earning interesting looks by random peasants while he doesn't seem to make the connection that this all to innocent mate of his, Max, intentionally calls him a breast and it actually doesn't have anything to do with the naïveté of a nickname choice.

Or I can pretend to have hurt myself (that is also quite enjoyable), hence making him carry me piggy-back style.

Since we were not in a public place, I opted for number 2.

'Oh, Tyson, I have a pain in my leggiwegg.' I discretely informed him. 'Can you carry me?'

'A pain in your what?' Tyson asked bluntly.

I pointed at my upper thigh with two fingers and added. 'I think it's a cramp.'

Tyson kneed down and appeared to examine my leg. As if that would help. Not like he was a doctor or anything distantly related to that, -like an intelligent human being.

'Yea, it might be a cramp.' was his diagnosis.

Obviously he had just copied what I had told him five seconds earlier.

'Oh, you think so?' Sweet Max said. 'It really stings.'

'Don't worry, I'll carry you.'

So Tyson allowed Sweet Max to climb on his back and carried him to his room. From then on he started serving Sweet Max ice pads, ice tea and ice cream, since apparently those would actually get rid of the cramp (that was at least what Sweet Max had told him). The whole drama went on for about as long as Sweet Max felt like playing the lead role in it. As soon as he got bored, he blew off the act and changed the topic.

-----------------

I stayed up late, very late. Being an insomniac sure has its deficiencies sometimes.

-But not in my case, that is-

After hearing Tyson's soft, slumber snoring, I kicked away the blanket and off I was to have some fun. After all, I had indeed ensured myself that option due to my actions earlier that day. So I tip-toed down the hallway until I had reached the door to my intended destination.

I didn't even bother knocking.

'Yo.'

Hiro looked up from his beddie.

'Hello yourself.' he greeted me.

He appeared to have kicked his duvet around with his legs a lot; it was now half covering his torso, half wrapped around his left thigh.

'As expected, you're not asleep.' I remarked.

He shook his head. 'How could I be? I've got way to much stuff on my mind.'

'This stuff, of which you happen to have way to much on your mind, better be exclusively about me.'

'How couldn't it be?' He whispered with a tone in his voice that had somewhat of a bitter character.

'Hey, hey, hey, you do not appear to be happy when thinking about me.' I remarked.

He sunk his head. 'I promised Tyson.'

Well I don't see how that has anything to do with me but good on him nonetheless. It might not make him necessarily smart or sexy, but hey, who _wouldn't_ want an absolute family-wussy?

You better sense the sarcasm my dear reader!

'I had promised him, that I wouldn't touch you Max. I broke that promise. I have never broken a promise to him before. But this was so tempting. I just couldn't withstand. Oh I'm scum, Maxie, filthy, disgusting scum. I'm sorry, but I can't continue being your boyfriend. It wouldn't be fair towards Tyson.'

In that moment, I couldn't help but laugh. I literally laughed-out-loud! With my charming and slightly disturbing manic laugh of course. This was hilarious. His naïveté was hilarious. His ideology was hilarious. EVERYTHING was effing hilarious.

'Why are you laughing, Max?' he asked bluntly.

'Me? Oh I'm just laughing about you.' I informed him, still giggling -why certainly! – 'You're so silly. Wanna know what the funniest part is?'

He nodded (may I remark that meanwhile he had bothered sitting upright in his bed so that he could totally focus on me).

I continued my lecture:

'The funniest part, my humble companion, is the part in which you think that you actually have a choice.'

His breathing went flat and he turned pale.

'You, Hitoshi Kinomiya, are a nymphomaniac. I, Matthew Tate, am someone who offers you what you cannot resist. So are you seriously going to waste your brain cells, debating over something that you know you don't have any control over?'

He clutched his hands into his hair and gripped it with his fingers.

'I know, I know, I'm such a freak.'

I laughed (the normal jolly, slightly sarcastic laugh this time).

'No, my dear companion, you are not a freak, simply a filthy, filthy character. You can accept that, or suppress the fact. Either way, it won't change the reality. The only thing that matters is that I happen to have an interest in you, filthy boy, and I have no intention on dragging some whiney loser around with me.

'Maxie.' He whispered. He had lifted his head a bit and was now staring right at me. 'I have made my decision: I'll be your boyfriend.'

I walked up to his bed and poked my finger against his forehead.

'Sorry to bring this to you, filthy boy, but I am not your boyfriend.'

Then I placed myself on his bed, kneeing down on his lower body, with my knees spread so that I had his legs lying between them, slowly caressing his fluffy hair. He had worn it open that night instead of tying it back to that mini ponytail like he usually did. It hung down to his shoulders in a layered, messy haircut. He stared at me with wide open, confused eyes as I slowly leaned towards him and pecked his lips.

'You sure know that what you are saying is totally contradictory to what you're doing, Max?!'

I smirked.

'Oh my, you are so old-fashioned, Hiro. Don't tell me you believe in marriage, true love and all that nonsense. We live in the 21st century. You are corrupted, I am corrupted, the entire world around us is corrupted. Those "values" as they like to call them have always been absolute bullshit, and now finally people are starting to realize it. We are not a couple Hiro. You don't have deep feelings for me and I certainly don't have any for you. If we would be friends, I would describe our relationship as being 'friends with benefits'. '

He wrapped his arms around me and lay down, pulling me down with him. We were lying in his bed at 1 am, me on top of him, wildly making out, just a few meters away from Tyson's room.

'So do you want to be friends?' he asked me.

Upon hearing that comment I sneered tauntingly.

'I don't _do_ friends.'

Hiro shrugged. 'I suppose that is a good thing, at least I don't have to worry about you screwing around with Tyson that way.'

I shook my head.

'I don't mean it in a sexual way. I simply don't _do_ friends.'

I heard a faint whisper coming from him, indicating that he finally understood: 'Oh… but if you don't have friends, what is my brother to you?'

'I'd say he's a mush.'

'A what?'

'A companion.' I replied bluntly. 'I like to keep him around, he's entertaining.'

'Oh.' Hiro repeated. But I had no nerve for his emotional falderal at that time.

'Friendship, that's a lot of old pony, now move over, I wont some of the duvet too ya know.' I ordered him.

He moved a bit to the side and untangled the duvet from his leg. I spread it over my body and then moved closer to him again, wrapping my arm around his torso.

'Are you going to sleep here tonight?' Hiro asked.

'Yes, Tyson likes to snore.' I countered.

His eyes were lighting up due to the new that I was staying, but he successfully managed to keep his facial expression stoic.

Hiro was pleased. He was trying to hide it, but I could tell. So this was how far a prim guy would go, he would try hiding his true urges and longings, however, that wouldn't make them disappear. They would still be there, even if he would continue lying to himself and the people around him.

Hiro Kinomya was corrupted.

That's what I liked about him!

-----------------

We got up at seven (we, that is me and Hiro). School started at eight and it was about fifteen minutes away from Tyson's place. Still, he manages to be late all the time. Quite a dork in my humble opinion.

Hiro and I decided to make ourselves a little breakfast (that is, Hiro was making breakfast while I was sitting in the kitchen, giving him the most ridiculous orders, very much to my amusement and little to his).

'Max I'm not really a good cook.' he said in the middle of cracking an egg over a pan.

'Oh suck it up and be a man, what's up with people and this false modesty. If they're good at something, can't they just deal with it instead of yearning for compliments?'

Hiro shrugged and whispered a 'sorry.'

Meanwhile I was scavenging the draws for some instant coffee. I found a small glass pot, containing some of that caffeinated heaven, most likely of questionable expiring date but let's not get that far. However my moment of triumph was short lived:

'Decaf! Who the hell even buys that bullcrap? What good is coffee for if you don't have any caffeine in it?'

Hiro turned his head in my direction and started to bubble:

'Grandpa drinks it sometimes, because of his blood pressure and stuff. But I think we might have some beans in that cupboard over there.'

'Beans? You don't even have a frick'n coffee machine! What were you planning on doing with those beans, stick them up your nose and hoping the caffeine would be absorbed through your skin?'

Hiro didn't reply to that. Lazy bastard!

'Do you at least have some energy drinks?' I asked.

'There's some coke in the fridge.'

I walked over to the fridge and poured myself a glass of coke.

'Phew coke! Coffee for babies!'

Hiro watched me gulp down the glass and then pour myself another.

'Caffeine addict, heh?'

'Well that took a genius to figure out.' I hissed.

Then he smirked. I personally didn't find anything amusing about this situation at all, but hey, I'm always trying to be a nice guy, so I let him have his fun.

'You're not the only one.' he finally said.

That got me laughing.

'Don't tell me _you're_ a caffeine addict! Apart from frick'n Coke, aka Coffee for babies, there is absolutely nothing containing the slightest amount of caffeine in this kitchen.

Hiro sneered.

'That's not entirely true.'

He walked over to a draw and got out a half-empty can of instant-espresso. Judging from the expiring date it wasn't that old at all.

'You had espresso! You had fucking espresso and you didn't tell me?!'

I was stunned. Okay, I have to confess, I didn't see that coming.

He's still a dork, though. After all, he didn't tell me.

'You didn't ask directly. So I decided to have a little fun with this.' he justified his act.

'Hiro…'

'Yea.'

'Fuck you!'

He shrugged again. 'Too late, you've already done that for me.'

Oh what did he think this was; some sort of verbal-teasing battle. If he expected to emerge as the victor in this he was oh so wrong.

'Oh yes, I have. And you know what? By allowing me to seduce you, you totally broke your promise to poor little Tyson. Oh my Hiro, you're such a terrible, egocentric brother. I'd be ashamed to even be related to you, if I were _poor, little Tyson_.'

The guilt trip worked marvellously!

Almost too perfect! Hiro sank into self pity and disgust, while I could sit there quietly and have my coffee in peace. Well, what did he expect? That I would be all sweet and nice after him taking the Mickey on me. I don't think so!

He should be thankful, in my opinion. Not for me mocking him, that is, but for me offering him our little deal. Without me he'd still go J Arthur Rank all day.

Seems I might have overdone the part about making him feel bad…just a tad.

'Matthew…' Hiro whispered.

(May I remark one thing: why do people always have the urge to say your full name whenever they want to tell you something serious? Do they think cutting back on nicknames will naturally give you the maturity to deal with whatever 'bad' news there are to come?)

'What's the matter with good old Mattie?' I hence responded.

'I don't think I can go through with this after all…'

'Oh for crying out loud!' I yelled. 'You are such a wussy!!! Cut the crap and deal with it. It's either that or you go back to wanking. Which one do you prefer?'

I didn't get a reply on that one so I assumed he had decided on doing the honourable thing…

-the honourable thing to me, that is!

So Hiro stayed my sooka. Yep, I had it all sorted.

-I was happy!

-Hiro was kinda pleased…

Hence, it was perfect!

-----------------

Approximately half an hour later, Tyson came slumbering into the kitchen.

'Mornin' Hiro, Mornin' Maxie. By da way, I didn' notice ya getting out of bed this mornin'.

'That's because you slept like a rock.' I told him.

I realized that my voice had sounded a bit harsh when saying that, but oh well, no big deal, not like his mind would be focused enough to notice. He couldn't even pronounce the words of his first language properly in this sleepy state. Actually, I'm not even sure if English is his first language. He's part Jap, part Canadian and part something else. Dutch maybe. I don't care. But judging from the fact that he never speaks with the other Japs from our school I doubt that his Japanese skills are that magnificent. He might have roots in New Zealand now that I think of it. Hiro always speaks with a Kiwi accent after all. Oh whatever, why did I even waste valuable brain cells on that strain of thoughts. I honestly don't care.

However, what I do care about is that due to the mere fact that Tyson was present and occupying my air space, we were late for class and I got detention. Not that it mattered anyways. Hiro was the detention supervisor. He always ticked off our names on the attendance list, even if we didn't show. And he better tick of mine that day, especially after what I had offered him.

-

_First lesson: English Lit._

_Second lesson: English Lit._

_Recess_

_Third lesson: Mathematics_

_Fourth lesson: Polynomics_

-

Kai had been critically eyeing the entire Polynomics lesson. It might have been quite charming at first, however towards the end it started to get on my knickers so I decided to inflict a little face-off and get to the bottom of this odd behaviour.

'Say, old mush, do you like what you see?'

He just raised an eyebrow. How petty! Not a reaction that I personally had hoped for, I had expected something more vivid with lots of good old fashioned drama to stimulate my emotional centre.

'You're not that handsome.' he _informed_ me.

'My face is a never-fading source of wonder to me.' I _informed_ him.

He raised his eyebrow again. Oh boy, what a bore, that move was starting to get lame.

'It appears Hiro likes you; and that although you are a bastard. He says you're handsome. I don't see it.' Kai stated. He was keeping his voice calm and monotone, making the sentence he had formed just then sound more like a list of words.

I leaned _back_, pressing my _back_ towards my chair's _back_, while crossing my arms behind my _back_.

And all the way _back_,

-slightly towards the right behind me-

sat Kai.

Still eyeing me, with the same doubting and Sweet-Max-suspicious aura surrounding him.

So now we were _back_ to the primitive basics.

'You know, Mr Nikolaj, in my humble opinion, being handsome is overrated.'

'Is that so?' He asked, but due to the tone in which he had said it, it was fairly obvious that he meant it more as a statement rather than a question.

-Of course I got that hint, however I decided to elaborate a bit on my opinion instead:

'You see Mr Nikolaj, there are many handsome people in this world. You see them everyday, doing their everyday chores, wandering the world everyday, _every_ day. So don't you agree that since they become more of an everyday phenomena, you eventually will not perceive their presence. And now look at me, I might not be handsome. I have got my imperfections, and I am proud of them, since they make me stand out in the crowd. They make my face memorable. Don't you see it Mr Nikolaj?'

I suppose I don't need to tell you what incredibly 'surprising' move he performed…

'Okay, let me elaborate on that point. Focus your attention onto my face, Mr Nikolaj. Item One: an eye -as a matter of fact, I even happen to offer this item twice- iris, coloured light blue; lashes, short but dense; sclera, white, clear, no redness present. Item Two: hair, colour: fair- hence appears in different shades and facets depending on from what angle and what intensity the light falls upon it. Item Three: skin, not too pure, not to impure either; freckles spread equally across nose and cheek area…'

'I get the point!' Kai suddenly hissed.

Hadn't anyone told him yet, that it was rude to interrupt people? Oh, what an ignorant fellow. Real savage!

'Oh you do, well that is good news.' I said.

'I get the point that you are a narcissist!'

'A narcissist?! Frankly, yes I am. I have been aware of that for a while now.'

'Let me guess, you are proud of it too…'

'Indeed I am.'

He bristled. 'How typical.'

'But not stereotypical.'

'Stereotypical of a narcissist!' he countered.

'Maybe! But not stereotypical of a sweet high school boy.'

He shrugged.

'Speaking of which, you do not happen to be stereotypical of a rebel high school non-conformist yourself!' I snickered.

An odd grin curved his lips.

'So, so. How come you're so sure of that?'

I chuckled.

'Who other than an overly friendly and ridiculously selfless person would care about Hiro? Not even his so called friends do.'

'They're not really his friends. They're rather "mashes" or whatever you call people.'

'Mushies!' I stated. '-Mush-That's a British expression. Cockney, if I'm not mistaken.'

He turned his head slightly to the side and with a critical voice he declared: 'Muzh means husband in Russian.'

'Muschie means 'cunt' in German.'

He gave me a suspicious glare.

'So do they call people 'mushies' in England?'

'They probably call them 'mushs', but that doesn't mean that I can't.'

'If you say so...'

'I do!'

He shot me a challenging glance but didn't compose an actual reply.

Regarding our conversation as finished, I turned my back to him again and pretended to focus on the lesson. I couldn't have the teacher think that Sweet Max was a rebel after all; no matter if it were the reality or not.

-

_Lunch_

_Fifth lesson: Biology_

_Sixth lesson: Statistics_

_School was out_

-

I decided to allow Tyson and Rei to accompany me on the way to the sweets shop. And yes, I do use the word 'allow' intentionally. They may not know it, but if I allow them to walk with me, I wait for them at the back entrance of the school. If not, I leave through the main entrance. Simple as that and they don't suspect a thing. They just think that my dear alter ego, Sweet Max, possesses a floppy memory.

All in all, those two chaps are quite okay. They might be a bit dim and gullible but there could be worse company. Like Mr Nikolaj, that effing bore, for example.

But one of the many factors that annoy the hell out of me is Rei's paranoia and passion for drama:

'So Max, seriously, what was up with you talking to Petrushkov during Polynomics today.' he questioned me, with a curious look on his face that just seemed to want to yell out 'Scandal!'.

Petrushkov is what they call Kai by the way. It's the name he enrolled himself at our school with.

Nikolaj Petrushkov

All I know is that Hiwatari was his mother's maiden name. His parent's are probably divorced or something. He might even have one of those embarrassing double last names.

Nikolaj Hiwatari-Petrushkov

Yea, that sounds sexy!

Can you feel the sarcasm?

You better!

Anyways, I don't know for sure why he enrolled himself with his father's name and it's not like my life depends on knowing that little piece of information, so hence –you guessed it- I DON'T CARE!

Back to Rei's silly question. My glorious answer was:

'Oh, well, he always seems so lonely and nobody talks to him, so I felt sorry for him.'

Smooth Max, real smooth! I think just out-sweet-ed yourself.

Rei totally bought it. He's the most gullible paranoia sufferer I know. He even put on his I'm-going-to-lecture-you-about-the-evils-in-this-world voice when he replied:

'Max, the thing is, he always seems lonely because he _wants_ to be alone. There are some people who have an anti-social character. And he's one of them.'

Actually, I think it's rather the opposite. He's frick'n _dependant _on social contact. I mean, come one, who else would be desperate enough to befriend that clumsy dork Hiro?

'Yea, Max. He's really mean and stuff.'

I suppose that you already guessed that it, just then, was Tyson speaking. His intellectual word-choice is quite a give away.

'I can't help it. I simply believe that every person has a good core. Oh, I'm so naïve.' I lied.

Oh my, Sweet Max is such a fake.

Tyson glomped me and ensured me that I was 'still mega-awesome-cool' (his words) while Rei insisted on me being more 'careful' and 'suspicious' of the world (which pretty much directly translated into BE PARANOID).

We were all standing at the lollie-isle hidden behind the water-and-soda isle when we heard someone come in through the front door.

'Oh I'm telling you. Worst Narcistic Personality Disorder case I've ever seen! And I've seen a lot. Stay away from him, that's my advice. He's only trouble.'

That was Kai's voice. And he was talking about me. Oh how charming!

'I know, I know.' That was Hiro.

If I were to have any interest in the people around me, I would have asked myself, why the hell him and Kai hung out so much. And why the fuck Kai _cared_ for him. I mean, everyone can tell Hiro is quite a twat.

However, I do not have any interest in the people around me _at all_ so why did I ask myself those questions after all? Isn't that what you're wondering about? Well I'm telling you. To me it seemed as if that Kai person were interfering with my business concerning Hiro. And I could not have that happening to me. Nobody fucks with Max and gets away with it that easily. I had a glorious plan formed in my mind. Involving the predictable behaviour pattern of my companions. Any moment now, Tyson would storm into view from behind the isle upon hearing Hiro's voice. Probably yelling something stupid (disregarding grammatical rules) in the process of it.

'Hiro! Awesome! You here too?'

_Yep, as predicted._

Then Hiro would blush, fiddle with his hair and start stumbling an "excuse".

'Ahm, yea, I wanted to get the morning paper.'

_I told you so!_

Meanwhile, Kai would move more and more into a random corner, crossing his arms, acting as if he hadn't even entered the shop together with Hiro in the first place.

Then, Rei would emerge from behind the water-and-soda-isle, starting some mysterious conspiracy idea.

'Say Hiro. Why were you hanging out with that… creep? Have you suddenly decided to become some sort of rebel and take drugs? You shouldn't hang out with him anymore, he is bad company.'

_Yea, yea, good old Rei, __dramatic as always…_

Then Kai would respond by merely raising his eyebrows.

'I don't do drugs.'

_Hey, wait a second__!_ That wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to talk. A flaw in my system? No way! There had to be something I had forgotten to consider…

Oh, of course!

His relationship to the dork. He was defending him. How pathetic!

Anyways, my brilliant plan still had potential. While Rei was lecturing Hiro about not doing drugs and Tyson simultaneously was jumping up and down, excitedly telling Hiro what 'adventure' he had experienced this time, I had a chance to start a conversation with Mr Nikolaj.

'Have you done the research on the bankruptcy of "Hemion Electronics" yet?' I asked him.

He gave me a suspicious look as to why I was questioning about the Polynomics homework. Still, he answered me like an obedient school boy.

'Not really. I already know what happened anyways.'

'It's quite an interesting case, don't you agree? The bankruptcy was caused only because the Ecology Department interfered with the Research Department. If they wouldn't have started _snooping in each others business_ and hence caused the system to collapse, the people in both Departments would have still had their jobs. They people from the Ecology Department pretty much screwed themselves over.'

He got the hint.

However he didn't take it as planned.

'If you think you can threaten me, Max, you're wrong.' He hissed; then he gave Hiro a nod, indicating a good bye, and left the store.

You might think that I did not succeed with my plan. I might not have won the war, it had just started after all, but I did win the battle: Kai Hiwatari had left the building!

* * *

Later on I accompanied Ty to Rei's place. Rei lives with his uncle. He tells us that it is because his parents moved back to China since they got jobs offered there. To be honest, I think that's a lie. I believe that his parents were in the states illegally and that they got expelled from the country. Rei was probably allowed to stay since he was born here and hence has the citizenship. My theory seems so much more plausible than Rei's crap. I had met Rei's parents before they "moved". They seemed much too clingy and smothery to leave their son alone in a different country just because of a career offer. In addition, they both worked in different branches. His mother being a shop assistant while his father was a mechanic. What are the odds of them _both_ being offered jobs simultaneously? Who would search for a shop assistant oversees anyways? It's not like China is such a small country.

So yea, epic fail, Rei, you ain't fooling me!

The good thing about Rei's place is that he has a telly in his room. So what we usually do is sit there and watch. No annoying conversations required! That day, we watched a show, specifically designed for people at the peak of the IQ scale!

You guessed it my reader: Spongebob Squarepants!

In case you happen to watched Spongebob regularly, I can inform you that it was the episode in which Spongebob tries to befriend Plankton and they start singing that 'Fun' song. And since a yellow sponge and a tiny piece of plankton named after its very own species were singing that song it –of course- meant that Tyson had to do so as well.

'_F is for friends, who do stuff together, _

_U is for you and me. _

_N is for anywhere and anytime at all right here in the deep blue sea!' _

Oh gosh, shoot me now, please!

And then suddenly Rei decided to join in as well. In that moment I was seriously debating whose head I should cut of first. At least it was the part that Plankton sings, which I actually find quite intriguing:

'_F is for fire, burning the whole town,_

_U is for Uranium bombs,_

_N is for no survivors…'_

Ironic isn't it. How a word, representing something as silly and petty as 'fun' can code for something entirely different? It is a bit like the coding for OCD that I had mentioned earlier. The deeper meaning of a word. It could be completely happy-chappy and positive, however it might as well be corrupt and sick.

F-U-N.

The IATA airport code for Funafuti International Airport is FUN.

Funafuti's background doesn't exactly involve a history of _fun._ It used to be the headquarter of the United States Army Air Forces VII Bomber Command before it was abandoned and turned into a commercial airport. Now it might be associated with the _fun _of traveling or the_ fun_ engraved as its IATA code. But behind this façade lies an intriguing part of brutal US History!

Comforting isn't it?

But F-U-N can stand for many other things. Maybe not that many now in the present, but the future is approaching and comes closer and closer. Who knows, in a few decades, years or even minutes, everyone might associate the abbreviation FUN with:

Fascistic Unified Nation

Federal Union of Neo-Nazis

Or even:

Fallacy of Uranium Nitrification

(Although the last one doesn't make any sense whatsoever! But not everyone might know that and those might just assume that if the state and everyone around them says it, it ought to be true. Even those that would know it might ignore their common sense in an act of obedience and submissiveness. This basic quality of society is what allows propaganda to be so successful. Dictations have been possible, due to this quality. War crimes have been hidden, due to this quality. Corruption is possible, -due to this quality!

Two plus two make four!

The obvious but inexpedient truth. There will be people that will sincerely cling onto that knowledge, there will be people that will doubt all that they had learned so far but the majority will be people that will believe that: two plus two make five.

Because that's what everyone says.

May this day actually come, I already know my place! And I can genuinely tell you, who I will not be sharing it with. But I suppose that might be a good thing. More space for me to live out my minds most sinister ideologies!).

These thoughts still occupied me on my way back home. And also while I was sitting on my bed, staring at the wall, trying to make sense of them (my thoughts that is). It really was _funny_. How a pretty surface could hide the most outrageous facts. The obvious but inexpedient truth. That was _fun_ for me. That, and so much more! All those mysteries and enigmas of my sanity that I couldn't identify just yet.

I got out a Swiss army knife from my cupboard. Flipped it open and held it against the skin of my left arm. The blood oozed out as I slowly proceeded to carve a straight line into my flesh.

This was Max Tate. Pride of the family. A sweet little school boy. Popular. Loved by his fellow students and teachers. Always happy and in a good mood, with a laugh that could captivate others!

This was a lie! This was the surface! And this, which was dark red, flooding out from under the surface, was reality!

I carved another line at an angle of about ninety degrees to the first one. Then another one, parallel to the second one. The blood continued to lave out colouring it red. _It_ being the phlegmatic shape of an 'F', resting on my arm as if it were just paint. But it wasn't. Not this time. This was real.

_F_

F is for the _fakeness_, hovering above and amid our society. The lies and deception covered by a smooth, superficial surface.

I smirked and continued my business.

_U_

U is for uniqueness, unpredictability, the uncommon personality that will make others feel uneasy and unwelcome. Me.

I flinched in pain as more and more blood streamed out as I carved the last letter.

_N_

N is for _new_, as in: a new world, opening its portals for me, now that the necessary realizations had been made. An insane, foul and rotten world.

A Mad, New World.

* * *

**Wow, another chapter submitted!**

**Y****ou probably realised that I love the word 'hence'…and that repetition seems to be my favourite rhetorical technique (it actually is intentional; it's not just me running out of words to chose from).**

**Yea… I'm a weirdo**

**I'm getting better with cutting down on allusions. I think I've only used ****two this time. 'My face is a never fading source of wonder to me' of the movie 'if…'. Amazing movie by the way! With one of the most intriguing anti-heroes ever.**

**And '2 + 2 = 5' **** is of 'nineteen eighty-four'. There's even a wikipedia article about that concept, actually.**

**Oh, yea,**** I gave Kai a different last name. I figured that nobody in his school would be naïve** **enough to **_**not**_** see that the Kai from the PowerPoint presentation in chapter 2 is the Kai from their school. Also, the last name part will make sense later on in the story.**

**Kai's POV in the next chapter, by the way!**


	6. KAI On Melancholy II

**Hello fellas!!!**

**I'm updating today to celebrate that I found out that I got accepted into 2 of the Universities I've applied to. *yay* I received the information yesterday, but I didn't manage to finish the chapter, but now it's done and you folks can read it!!!**

**Enjoy!!!**

**By the way, this chapter takes place at the same time that the last one took place, just from Kai's POV. I hope it's not too boring. Okay, correction, this IS boring. Hope you don't mind too much. I've tried to portray how he feels about relationships, affection, his friendship with Hiro etc. Might be a bit too much rambling, sorry.**

* * *

On Melancholy II

* * *

I was having one of my melancholic days again. Recently they've been occurring quite frequent. I don't seem to see why, since my life frankly isn't that bad, however those thoughts that keep on circulating in my mind make it appear as if. I hate my school. I truly hate it. It's a public school, like all those thousand and hundred thousands all over the country, but still, people seem to have this philosophy that just because they're a small town, they are to stick together no matter what and they are connected by something silly like town spirit 'All for one and one for all'. It's the motto of bloody Switzerland for crying out loud! It's for a country, not a town. And even for a country it's cheesy. Like honestly, there's way to much drama going on in that school –I hate you, you hate me- the usual crap, and then during assembly they start babbling on about school spirit and misquote Kennedy 'Don't ask what the school can do for you, what can you do for the school'. It just pisses me off. My school is not perfect! And it's not that great. Neither is the small town I live in. There's a lot of crime and redundancy. People realize it, but they ignore it, continuing with their petty little philosophy. I know that you are supposed to be optimistic. But that's just being naive and stupid. It's all fake! The facade of the town, the people, their spirit. It's all a damn lie. It's a bunch of bullshit. But not just here, everywhere! The honourable "American" society is a crumbling facade. But not just the USA (that seems to prefer referring to itself by the name of it's continent, completely ignoring that this depiction involves Canada, Central America and all those poor regions in the South) no, the entire Developed World!

Sometimes I miss my home town back in Kaliningrad. The circumstances were as shitty as here, maybe even worse, but at least the people didn't pretend.

It was real!

No doubt about it.

Here the people don't seem to realize that ignorance is not going to get rid of the problems. The teenagers, spending every weekend intoxicating themselves with alcohol until they lie on the middle of the street in most dishonourable shape. Those fancy business men, committing adultery in their oh-so-perfect marriage. _To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part_. Yea right! Get real! Why do people even bother marrying each other? Is it for the appearance, the expectations of society? Is it for insurance, knowing that once in a marriage, the spouse is less likely to leave one (just another ego-trip)? Or is it a cluster of both? Either way, I doubt it's sincere. Humans are way too narcistic to embed any emotions towards another human being other than oneself. It's their human nature. Even if a person, oh so candid, _insists_: "how I wish it were me to die in that car that day, not dear old Jack"; they truly wouldn't want that faith for themselves. Saying it out loud might comfort them, but if faced with the choice, for real, not many would go for the selfless option. The survival of the fittest tears human connections apart. And I don't criticise it. It is one of the oldest instincts of evolution. It is how the human race arose to greatness.

But what I do criticise are those who are too proud to admit it to themselves.

I would indeed sacrifice my own life for my daughter. It is a miserable life anyways. But for anyone else…

No.

Even if it is miserable. It is still my life. Who knows what will follow, if anything at all…

Would I sacrifice it for some stranger in a burning house.

No.

Would I sacrifice it for some kid on the street.

No.

Would I sacrifice it for my only friend, Hiro.

No.

I know I may sound like a narcissist, but I know it's true. And I won't bullshit around. I'm not some coward. I admit it freely.

Another factor that can't stop to annoy me is that they name schools after amazing scientists or war heroes but the way the students and teachers act rather shuns then than honour. This school is named after Sophie Scholl. For those who don't know her, she was a member of the 'White Rose' a 2nd World War Resistance group. Even though the risk of being discovered was great in Nazi-Germany, she still took it and secretly spread out political awareness flyers. She got caught of course (this is reality after all; in reality, they always do; in fiction, never). The thing that I like about her was how she denied the accusations up until the frank proof of her war-crime was laid out on the table for her. And then she confessed with pride.

Unlike many of those war rebels, she possessed the intelligence and human sense to act like she did. Some might call it 'being a coward', but is it really? I'd rather say it's being realistic. So what if she would have confessed immediately? Wouldn't that profit the Nazi's rather than her? Less paperwork –great! And the satisfaction of having caught one more war-criminal –even better!

What good is pride if you don't profit from it. I would've acted in the exact same way. So they caught me, and I were, most likely, to be prosecuted... Oh how I would give those bastards a hard time!

Although I wouldn't bother participating in a Rebellion in the first place. What's a little group of people going achieve acting against an entire Regime and philosophy? It is pointless! I enjoy being a nonconformist, but how could I continue being a nonconformist if I would try to make everyone else one too?

_If it's in fashion to be a non-conformist, who is the__** real**__ nonconformist?_

-

I looked down at my watch. 11pm already. I was supposed to pick up Anya at 10pm. On the other hand, if it would have bothered the baby sitter at all, she would have just come over. Her apartment is on my floor anyways, right opposite of mine, actually.

I glanced down at my work. So I had been given 6 hours to finish my assignment, and where had my melancholic rambling gotten me: page 2 only! That was just great. But Anya would probably fall asleep soon anyways so I should still be able to continue this later on.

Damn Chemistry. An Assignment on Carbon Dating. Actually quite interesting. However, it was hard to find information on it without internet access (which I couldn't afford) since the books in the library on Palaeontology were full of information that either had absolutely nothing to do with my topic or was way too detailed for the level of my petty Chemistry Class. Anyways, I decided I should really go pick Anya up. So I threw on a jumper (since I was in my boxers and a tee and really didn't feel like searching for my pants) and then did the amazing…here it comes: TWO METER WALK to my neighbours apartment.

Mr Levi opened the door.

'Oh, it's you. She's over in my wife's room.' (_she_ most likely referring to Anya)

He had a sad expression on his face when he had said the term 'wife's room'. I was aware of the fact that it didn't go that well in their marriage, I had been told by Ms Iota. Apart from that, it wasn't exactly hard to guess by the cold, superficial way they treated each other. They didn't even have arguments, as a matter of fact, they simply didn't interact with each other anymore. Every conversation I had witnessed between them seemed forced and awkward. He was having an affair, everyone knew about it and Ms Iota didn't even mind. She had given up all hope for a happy marriage ages ago. She even started using her maiden name again. I had never been fond of marriage, but witnessing this every day was the final straw. No way, would I ever bring this upon myself. They had gotten married too early, being too young. People change, and the younger they are, the more. They must have been happy at some stage, or else they wouldn't have married in the first place. But this was more depressing than romantic.

When I walked into the room, Ms Iota was sitting on the bed, reading a story to Anya, who was in a deep state of slumber. She did register me entering, however didn't address that fact any further than mumbling a faint 'Kai'.

'How did your Assignment go? Did you manage to finish it?' Ms Iota asked me.

'No, I was distracted.'

'Having one of your melancholies?'

'Yes.'

She just nodded silently.

She didn't comment on it because she knew I hated to be treated like a patient. A patient, since she works as a nurse in the psychiatric ward of the local hospital. So whenever I mention my mental problems, she probably has to restrain herself from going into Diagnosis-Modus.

It was quiet for a moment between us two.

'Oh by the way, Kai, I was talking to my boss yesterday. She said she can see Anya tomorrow, after you finish school.' Iota suddenly said.

'Does the offer still stand?'

'Yes, she won't charge you. She does it in a favour to me.'

'That is very kind of her.'

Once again, silence. But not an awkward silence. Just a silence.

A silence that was broken as Mr Levi entered the room:

'Iota. I will go to bed now. Remind Kai to turn of the lights in the hallway once he leaves.'

Ms Iota didn't reply. She didn't even nod. She just looked him in the eyes for a couple of seconds, then tilted her head to the side and focused her attention back onto me. Then Mr Levi left the room without even uttering a word.

I knew he was thinking that I had an affair with his wife.

I didn't mind.

He might as well think that of me, I had no business with him anyways.

Of course I wasn't actually in a relationship with his wife. That was absurd. I was only nineteen and she was about ten years older. Not that I had ever felt the urge to be in a relationship anyways. Not with Ms Iota. Not with anyone else. Relationships are pointless. They might entertain you in the beginning, but eventually everything you will be stuck in a rug. And the thing is, you will be way too lazy to change the circumstances. Humans are creatures of habit. We will get used to relationships and dislike the idea of breaking out of our comfort zone. That's why there are so many obviously unhappy couples that still refuse to get a divorce. But I don't pity them, they brought it upon themselves.

I left Ms Iota and Mr Levi's apartment about five minutes after. In the meanwhile, Ms Iota had still bothered to ask me those obligatory, polite questions that we both knew I wouldn't answer truthfully.

'So, how are you?'

-'Good.'

'How is school going?'

-'Fine.'

'How did your math test go?'

-'Was okay.'

etc.

Just the usual, tedious crap.

-----------------

Surprisingly, I managed to finish my assignment that night. I wrote a total of six pages. Not ideal, but at least it was compact, with little bullshit about it. Hiro's in my Chemistry class. He greeted me with a big smile on his face once I entered the class room. I replied with a nod. We hardly ever associated with each other during class. People didn't even know we were friends. But during detention, we had our privacy. I don't actually get into trouble that often, after all, I don't want to risk losing my Student Visa. I only go because I have nowhere else to be. I think he knows that, or at least suspect it. Hiro might be a clumsy dork, but there is something simplistic about him. He understands matters and is easy to get along with. It is quite relaxing to be around him.

-----------------

During lunchtime I went to detention as unusual (not like I had anything better to do). And there was Hiro, sitting on top of a desk with his feet placed on a chair in front of him, contently humming some tune I couldn't identify.

'You seem to be in a good mood today.'

He gave me a wide grin and stated:

'I got laid!'

'Woah, too much information man!'

That wasn't my voice. In fact it was the voice of some random kid sitting at the back of the classroom. I didn't even notice him coming into this room, _that_'s how insignificant he was.

'Hey you, Wendy. How about I let you off early today? I tick off your name and you can leave.'

The Wendy-guy shrugged.

'Fine with me.'

Then he grabbed his bags and left the room. What kind of mother would name her son "Wendy" anyways. Wasn't that a total girl's name? Hell, isn't that a character in Peter Pan? Weird, weird people out there.

Hiro interrupted my thoughts.

'Kai, Kai, we fucked!'

Wow Hiro, thanks for giving me that mental image. Still, I must've softened up. I couldn't help but feeling happy for him. That ought to be a big release. I'm not an expert on Nymphomania, but watching Hiro deal with it, makes it seem quite intense to me.

'You and Max?' I asked.

Hiro smirked.

'Yep.'

Oh shit, was I supposed to comment on it or something. What did guys usually say in such a situation. How should I know? I had never really watched teen movies let alone experienced this kind of situation before.

'Ahm, was he good?'

Not sure if I actually wanted to hear those details but as far as I knew that was a typical question that guys would ask.

'Oh yes. He sure was good.'

Gosh this was awkward.

'So, ahm, where did you do it?'

Stupid question, I agree. Obviously in the bed, like, where else would you do it? The remainder of places was reserved for silly porn movies only! But I was running out of things to say, so that was the best I managed to come up with.

'The kitchen table.'

He said that in such an indifferent tone, as if it were 'the bed' and not the bloody KITCHEN TABLE!

What the hell, seriously. I might have expected Max to do something as ridiculous as that but Hiro had a sense of decency. At least that's what I had thought so far.

'Where you not afraid that your brother or Grandfather would pop in and see you?' I asked, doing my best to avoid expressing any emotion in my voice. I didn't want him to think that I was disgusted by his doing.

'Of course, there sure was that possibility, but what fun is a life if you don't take any risks at all. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, mate.'

'Ahm, okay... But what are you two now, some sort of couple?'

He violently shook his head, as if I had said something extremely shocking.

'No, no, no. Not at all! We're something in the sense of 'friends with benefits' just that Max doesn't want to call anyone his friend.'

'Not friends, huh? So what does he call those dorks he always hangs out with?'

'You mean my brother and his friend?'

Ups, I had forgotten about that. Tyson was his brother after all. No calling-him-a-dork when Hiro was around.

I mumbled a faint 'sorry' but Hiro was in such a good mood, he didn't even mind and just went on with his ramble about Max.

'He calls them muzh's or something like that.'

Muzh's? Really? Was he aware of the meaning of that word? Maybe he had chosen it on purpose. Or maybe Hiro had been too occupied with having sex on the KITCHEN TABLE to memorize the name properly.

'He's quite eccentric actually. I know you wouldn't guess it, since he always acts so sweet, but yesterday, it was as if he were a completely different person, dunno, this probably sounds really odd…' Hiro mumbled.

'It's not odd.' I stated. 'He acts that way around me too. I'm pretty sure he has some sort of mental disorder. Megalomania or NPD maybe.'

Hiro raised his eyebrows in a way that looked pretty darn silly.

'You think so?'

If I wouldn't think so, I wouldn't say so. Simple as that. What a dispensable question. Seriously. And I had though that Hiro had grown out of that behaviour.

He got the hint and continued with his (now) monologue.

'Wow. That certainly explains some things. Like why he acts like that and stuff…'

Yes, Hiro, it obviously does so! That's what mental disorders do, they affect your behaviour.

I took out my card stock from my backpack and began to distribute the cards between us two, signalizing to Hiro that I didn't feel like talking anymore.

'Sorry.' he murmured. 'I'll stop.'

He didn't stop for long though. After the, for him, horrific and painful accomplishment of being quiet for 30 seconds he began to bubble once again.

'He's actually quite cute, don't you think.'

I sighed. Whatever, I might as well play social just for today.

'If you're talking about Max, then no, I don't think so.' I told him.

Hiro lied down on the desk, fiddling with the hem of his shirt, cheekily giggling.

'This is how we did it.' he informed me, with a slightly absent minded smile on his lips. 'I was lying like this, and he was lying on top of me. And then he started stripping off my pants.'

'Hiro, I'm already disturbed enough, I really didn't need that demonstration.'

'Sorry.' but this time he didn't stop talking. 'He's quite cute.' he repeated. 'He has the sweetest smile.'

'When he's not being a maniac that is.' I commented.

My words didn't seem to affect Hiro much.

'He's handsome. He looks like one of those surfer boys, over in New Zealand. You know, tanned, with blond, shaggy hair. He dresses like them a bit too.'

'That's because it's the fashion at the moment.'

Hiro giggled. 'Boy, I didn't expect you to be that much of a fashion expert, Kai.'

'I'm not. But I'm not retarded either, I do realize that everyone around me dresses like that at the moment.' I countered.

But my mate had already spaced out again. He was humming that tune again and slowly moved his hand along his stomach until it reached the brim of his pants.

'Hiro! Don't you dare to wank in front of me!'

He blushed. Then suddenly his facial expression became very stiff and serious.

'Say Kai, do you mind me being bisexual?'

What was that all of the sudden? Not like I had just found out. I had already known for ages. I had known long before we even became friends. Back when I started working for the Indie film company, he had been the star of the first movie I had worked on. Together with some random guy whose name I can't remember. Before Pi had even introduced me to the company, she had told me they that made both gay and straight porn and I didn't really see a problem with that. I had thought that both was gross either way. It was just kinda surprising to suddenly see one of your classmates screwing another guy in front of a camera. Especially one that you had always thought to be rigid (being the detention supervisor and all). After that initial shock, I believed that Hiro was some bigass closet pervert, until after a while, we started talking with each other more frequently. We were both loners, and then eventually we would to hang out during detention everyday, playing 'Bridge'. And at some stage, we must have become friends.

My point is, if I would've minded him being bi and a total nympho, I would've avoided him all the way.

'No, I don't mind.'

He gave me a big smile, looking quite relieved all of the sudden.

'That's good.'

He sat back up and we resumed our card game. Bridge. I know it's a total old lady game but hey, the course actually is quite interesting. Not like 'Skat' or 'Poker', which were both based on plain luck and not intellectually challenging. Or like 'Cheat' which I would always end with the same outcome since Hiro would always blush or giggle whenever he'd hide his cards. We had played many different games, but finally decided on Bridge. It was the most enjoyable one out of all of them. We were both pretty coequal opponents. After playing it over and over again, we were actually damn good at it. Hiro had joked a couple of times, if we should enter a Bridge tournament, but the idea of rooming with old ladies and mama's-boys didn't really appeal to me that much.

'You seem tense today.' Hiro suddenly said.

I shrugged.

'What's wrong?' he hacked.

'Ms Iota's boss is going to do a check up on Anya today.' I explained. He knew what kind of check-up I was talking about. I had confined in him.

'But isn't that a good thing?'

'It is. It's just…'

'…you're worried.'

He liked finishing my sentences. I didn't mind. It made it way easier for me since I didn't have to talk that much.

'Her behaviour won't change with a diagnosis.' He placed a hand on my shoulder, in order to comfort me, I think. 'It might even improve since they might give her drugs and stuff.'

'But it will be written, black on white. It will be a fixed diagnosis, you know. It will make it more real.'

'Aspergers isn't that bad. You know Tala, from English class? Tala's got Aspergers. And he acts very normal. I would've never guessed if he hadn't told me so himself. He's just a bit reserved. That's all. And Tyson's got ADD. That one's not a big deal either.'

I flinched when he said it. The word 'Aspergers' still caused a shiver to run down my spine. This was the one big difference between Hiro and me. He was always very straight forward, and me, well 'out if sight out of mind', that's my philosophy. I didn't concretely name the issue. I never did. I know I criticized ignorance before, but there is a difference between ignoring issues of society and personal issues. I both cases, you know they exist, however social issues won't majorly affect your mood but personal issues are on a whole new level. There is the possibility that Anya might have ADD, Aspergers syndrome, or maybe even Autism. The signs have been evident for a long time. She hardly ever talks, doesn't keep eye contact, seems distracted all the time. She can sit somewhere, not moving, just dreaming on in her own little world shutting out everyone and everything. Sometimes I wish I could do that. Live in my own little world, without any issues or problems to worry about.

-----------------

Talking about issues. I met Max Tate during 'Politics and Economics'. Throughout almost the entire lesson he was acting nice and sweet, as if he were a normal teen, and not a narcistic maniac. He was chatting happily with Hiro's brother and that Chinese guy. Giggling. Joking. I was starting to slowly doubt my sanity. Maybe this was the real Max. Maybe he wasn't that crazy punk that was shagging Hiro and spoke in cockney. Well, my life had been stressful and I hadn't been getting that much sleep lately. Maybe my mind had been playing some sort of trick on me. Oh boy, had I been hallucinating? Was this happy, careless boy just a happy, careless boy and nothing else?

I didn't notice that I had been staring at him until he turned to me and with a cocky voice exclaimed: 'Say, old mush, do you like what you see?'

Okay, forget everything I just said. The narcistic Max was real, not a product of my imagination. Even if I wasn't happy to see him, I was kind off relieved concerning my sanity. There he was. Sitting less than two yards away from me with an annoyingly provocative smile on his face.

I chose not to answer his question.

It certainly was weird, -seeing him, I mean. After Hiro had told me what they had done one the KITCHEN TABLE (sorry, I just can't get over that fact). That memory of Hiro lying on the desk, re-enacting how they -as he so nicely put it- 'did it', fluttered into my mind. Then I recalled Hiro's doting over Max:

_-__He's quite cute.- _

_-He has the sweetest smile.-_

-_He's handsome. He looks like one of those surfer boys, over in New Zealand. You know, tanned, with blond, shaggy hair.-_

I decided to see for my self and studied him with my eyes, careful not to make it seem to obvious. He wasn't ugly. But he wasn't exactly drop-dead sexy either. Pretty much average.

'You're not that handsome.' I stated.

That startled him for a moment but then he grinned and melodically replied:

'My face is a never-fading source of wonder to me.'

He said it in a proud tone that simultaneously seemed to carry a high weight of pity for me in it.

Damn narcissist!

-----------------

After school, I went to the Psychiatric Ward with Anya and Hiro. Hiro had offered to accompany me, knowing too well how this whole situation stressed me. I had agreed, being honestly glad about his offer, however I did my best to not let it show. Still, I think he noticed.

Ms Iota had repeatedly claimed that I would like this boss of hers. 'There's no bullshit about her.', she had said. 'Dr Tate is very direct.'

Considering her last-name, I figured, it might have not been such a good idea after all to have Hiro tag along. Another constant reminder of Max Tate. Great.

Anyways, Dr Tate struck me immediately as the extreme feminist type. She had marched up to me with an over-confident, rough walk stretching out her arm to violently shake my hand.

'I am Dr Tate. Are you the single father from East Prussia that Miss Pankova was talking about?'

I didn't miss how she used Ms Iota's maiden name 'Pankova' instead of her after-marriage last name 'Kingston'. I also noticed the emphasis on _Miss._

Probably the only reason she had agreed to seeing my daughter was that I was a single father and that her opinion was that women were supposed to have a career while men should stay at home.

'Yes, I am Kai. This is my daughter Anoushka Nikolayevna Hiwataria. Pleasure to meet you.'

I know, it seemed a bit exaggerated to introduce oneself with the full name attire but I felt that I should threat her with the uttermost respect. Or else she might start thinking I'm sexist or something.

Turned out she was thinking that anyways.

'So, for your daughter's middle name you chose to use a patronymic instead of a matronymic… why is that? Wouldn't you agree that it is a bit sexist?'

She was referring to the 'Nikolayevna'-part of Anya's name.

'It is determined by the law. Same as the 'a' being added to her last name because she is female. However, the last name I go by is my mother's name. She chose to keep it even after her marriage.'

That's the way Kai. Be a suck-up!

Gosh, I'm so ashamed of myself.

But Dr Tate was checking on Anya as a charity, so she certainly deserved a bit of appreciation.'

'Very well.' She decided. 'Personally, I made my husband take over my name after the marriage. I believe that it is the fair way to do so. I don't find that women should always be the ones to suffer.'

Sure, since taking over their husbands name is pure physical torture…

It did stun me though that she was married. Maybe she wasn't as feministic after all.

But those doubts were soon cleared up, as she continued to lecture me:

'I also made him take custody of my son Max after our divorce. I don't see why a woman should be the one giving up her career.'

I could hear Hiro gasp. At first I didn't see why, then I realized: Max Tate. Was he her son? Well, they did resemble each other physically. And with her extremist behaviour it didn't surprise me that he was completely mental as well.

Dr Tate continued to ramble on about women rights, the women liberation front and how she despised men who mistreated women (or men in general).

'I'm not even looking for a husband anymore.' she informed me. 'I don't care what society expects of a woman my age. My career is my top priority. And if I would be interested in a relationship, I wouldn't even bother searching for a man. I would go straight for a woman. No way, I would want to be dominated by a man. There is discrimination everywhere. In every workplace. Women get less money, women are less likely to be employed. And sometimes, women are not allowed to do specific jobs at all. And now the men are trying to take away the women's jobs as well. So, just out of principle, I don't employ any male nurses!'

I didn't bother mentioning that not employing any male nurses was slightly sexist in itself but there wouldn't have been a point in doing so anyways. Not like she would ever admit to it. She even went on criticizing so called 'weak women that let their lives be dominated by men'.

'Those are a disgrace for women in general. Why would a woman raise her child on her own just because the father doesn't want to have any thing to do with the child? I would hunt that man down and force him by law…'

Luckily she got interrupted by Hiro:

'Say, Dr Tate, does your son happen to go to Baltimore County High School?'

'Yes he does. Why? Does he behave inappropriately towards any girl there?'

Hiro shook his head.

'No, no, I was just wondering. Since there is a Max Tate in the year bellow mine.'

She didn't deepen the issue. I suppose, since it didn't have anything to do with sexism, she didn't know what to say. Instead she gently took Anya's hand and ordered us to return after two hours, while she would examine her.

-----------------

'Woah, that chick is scary.' Hiro said.

I nodded in agreement. 'It makes me understand why Max is so messed up.'

Hiro blushed at my mention of Max' name. I was starting to wonder if he actually liked Max a bit, even though said individual had an ego larger than his brain. But Hiro was quite the romantic for being a porn actor. He still believed in this naivety called 'love', which was absolute bullshit in my opinion. I really can't see why people nowadays actually expected something like that to exist. Remember Ms Iota and Mr Levi. Oh yea, with those two, you can really 'feel the love' (I'm being sarcastic of course)! I believe in physical and mental attraction, but 'true love', that's just being idealistic. Especially if teenagers waffle on about it. Like that Bokanowsky group of girls in my year. They couldn't believe that their boyfriends, who they apparently loved so deeply and who loved them back, would ever break up with them. And then after, they would spend weeks crying about how bad their lives were. Merely witnessing that created a gag reflex in me! I could just hope that Hiro wouldn't go on like that about Max at any stage, since Max, I was certain, he would never even value, let alone "love" anyone apart from himself.

Hiro pointed at a Newsagent's.

'Drink?' he suggested.

I nodded.

So we walked up to the store, continuing our conversation.

'Max sure is messed up, I agree, but I think he can be nice sometimes.'

I laughed cynically. 'When he's being fake that is.'

'Don't you think he might be bipolar, not fake?' Hiro asked me while pushing open the door to the Newsagent's.

'I'm telling you. Worst Narcistic Personality Disorder case I've ever seen! And I've seen a lot. Stay away from him, that's my advice. He's only trouble.'

Hiro sighed.

'I know, I know.'

But I couldn't help but doubt, that he did actually believe that with great sincerity.

Suddenly, his brother popped out from behind an isle.

'Hiro! Awesome! You here too?'

Oi, this was awkward. I tried to distance myself from them, pretending to have entered simultaneously with Hiro by chance, not intention. He probably wouldn't mind people knowing that we were friends but I didn't want people getting the wrong impression of him, because of the fake reputation that I had created for myself. I could hear Hiro mumbling something about a paper he wanted to pick up and assumed that Tyson didn't suspect anything. But I hadn't accounted for his Chinese friend, who wasn't as easy to fool at all.

He pointed at me and started to whisper:

'Say Hiro. Why were you hanging out with that… creep? Have you suddenly decided to become some sort of rebel and take drugs? You shouldn't hang out with him anymore, he is bad company.'

_Creep_?! Oh lovely. That makes me sound like some paedophile with a white van. Lovely.

'I don't do drugs.'

I didn't actually mean to say something, but hey, it didn't exactly hurt. However, that didn't put that guy off lecturing Hiro about the negative aspects of drugs.

'Have you done the research on the bankruptcy of "Hemion Electronics" yet?'

That was Max' voice. I already expected him to show up at some stage. Him and his mushies were inseparable after all. Still, it was slightly odd that he approached me just to talk about our homework. To find out what he was up to, I decided to play along and answer his question:

'Not really. I already know what happened anyways.'

He smirked. His eyes started to light up in a dangerous manner and he proudly declared:

'It's quite an interesting case, don't you agree? The bankruptcy was caused only because the Ecology Department interfered with the Research Department.' He made a short pause and brushed a hand through his hair. 'If they wouldn't have started _snooping in each others business_ and hence caused the system to collapse, the people in both Departments would have still had their jobs. They people from the Ecology Department pretty much screwed themselves over.'

So he was telling me to stay out of his business. I had to confess, he had indeed used quite an interesting way to deliver the message, but if that punk actually expected that he was able to threaten me in any way he was wrong. I kindly informed him of that fact and then signaled Hiro that I would wait outside.

-----------------

After about a minute of waiting, I watched Max exit the store together with his two mushies. Thankfully they didn't spot me. Hiro walked outside a few moments after. He scanned the area with his eyes and then, as soon as he spotted me, he came over waving two Cokes in my direction. He handed me one and then sat down next to me on the bench.

'What did Max come to talk to you about?' he asked.

I could sense the extreme curiosity in his voice but took a zip from my drink before I replied.

'He told me in a quite flowery way to not interfere with his business.'

'Hmm.' Hiro grumbled. He tapped his lip with his index finger a few times, then stroke his hand though his hair, in a matter similar to how Max had done it earlier. 'Do you think he heard what you said when we entered the store.'

'Yes.'

'You think he realized that you were referring to him?'

'Yes.' I repeated. 'He might have a larger-than-life ego, but he seems to be quite intelligent after all.'

Hiro kicked a few stones off the pavement.

'He must. He managed to fool his mother into believing that he's sane. And she's a psychiatric! Or do you think his mother knows?'

'I doubt it. She would've locked him away. Since, he might behave inappropriately towards a girl.' I stated.

Apparently my comment was quite funny. It certainly made Hiro laugh. But it was a fact, I could totally see Dr Tate saying such a thing.

The remainder of the time, Hiro and I spent playing Bridge again. In case your wondering, since that game is supposed to be played with four people, with did alter the rules a bit to match it to two people. Anyways, it made the time pass fairly quickly and we soon were off, back to the Hospital. I have to confess, I was feeling quite nervous while sitting in the waiting room. Hiro noticed it and even ended up putting his arm around me, which earned us strange looks from patients and nurses. One nurse, -young, blonde and joyful- even made an 'aww, cute'-sound, which honestly disturbed me way more than any of the evil looks. Luckily, Dr Tate didn't make us wait for long. Soon we were called into her office.

'Good evening.' she said in mere formality. Then she started presenting her diagnosis. 'Your daughter has ADHD-PI.'

I sighed in relief. That was good news. So she didn't have Aspergers. That made life much easier. Not just mine, but especially hers.

Dr Tate continued talking, explaining the characterisations of the disorder to me. 'ADHD-PI stands for _Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Predominantly Inattentive_. It is a subtype of ADHD and still commonly called ADD by the public. It differs from the other subtypes of ADHD by including less or none of the symptoms of hyperactivity or impulsiveness.'

-So it wasn't the Tyson-type. That was good too.

'You can expect that your daughter will show forgetfulness, lethargy, disorganization, distractibility and procrastination. She is likely to be prone to daydreaming, making careless mistakes at school or later at work and will have difficulties concentrating and paying attention. Also, most subjects with ADHD happen to have a quite high IQ, however she might not do well at school due to the symptoms associated with her condition. She certainly does not have Aspergers syndrome since she is very aware of other peoples emotions and is able to read facial expressions, which is an ability that subjects with Asperger's Syndrome usually lack. Concerning medication, subjects with ADHD-PI usually respond well to amphetamines, such as the prescription drug Adderal, which will promote the release of neurotransmitters. However, considering your financial situation and the fact that you don't have Medicare, I doubt that it is an option for you.'

She was right. I wouldn't be able to afford prescription drugs. Especially not on a regular basis.

'But those drugs are not necessary.' she continued. 'They might improve her symptoms and scholastic achievement but that it will not matter until High School anyways.'

I nodded. She was the expert, so I guess she was right.

She handed me a form and ordered me to fill it out. It basically included details like mine and Anya's full name, birth date, vaccination history etc. So that she could update Anya's medical history and write out a prescription, in case I would need it at some stage. Afterwards, we expressed our Good-bye's and walked off in different directions.

Ms Iota had been correct. Apart from the feminist-thing, there was no bullshit about Dr Tate. She was direct and discreet. Telling me exactly what I needed to know and not 'bullshitting around', as I liked to call it.

A laughing noise, coming from Hiro interrupted my thoughts.

'Dude, you've got a weird name. _Susumuovich._ What kind of middle name is that? That sounds retarded!'

Wow, man, nice of you to say that!

I figured he had watched me filling out the form. That's probably where he had gotten it from.

'Susumuovich is my patronymic, meaning 'son of Susumu', my father. Every Russian has to have one of those. That's the law. In the same way Anya has a Patronymic with my name in it.'

He giggled. 'That's kinda cool. I want to give my children one of those. _Hirovich_. Yea, they're gonna be cursed forever.'

For some reason he found that extremely funny and started to laugh at it for at least a minute.

'So you're aiming to curse them, sounds like you're gonna be a good father.'

Hiro smiled as if it were a compliment. Then his facial expression got more serious. 'How come your father had a Japanese name, actually.'

'Because my grandfather was a Nazi.'

'Ahm, okay, that would explain 'Adolf' but not 'Susumu'.'

I sighed and began to briefly explain the story to him.

'He had a high position in the Russian government but he decided to become a Nazi informant. He got found out and fled to Japan, which back then was an ally of Germany. So my father was born in Japan, got a Japanese name and then my Grandfather met Voltaire Hiwatari, a tyrannical capitalist, they agreed with each others views so my father was sent to Russia to work for Voltaire.'

'So your family is kinda right-wing.' Hiro assumed.

'Not kinda. Extremely.'

'Is that why you left them?'

'Partially.'

He realized that it was a touchy subject for me and didn't continue asking me questions on it. Which I was quite glad about. We continued to walk quietly until the street crossing that led to his place.

I guessed that I should maybe say something to him. An appreciation for comforting me that day. What came out was:

'Thank you for keeping me company.'

'Oh ahm, no problem, mate.'

Hiro was surprised about me thanking him for such a thing. It might have seemed small to him, but I really valued his support.

'Okay, see ya at school Kai, bye Anya.' he stumbled and then turned around to leave.

'Bye.' I replied.

He gave me a cocky grin and waved. Then he was off. After he had left, I took Anya's hand and we continued to walk back to my place. She didn't say anything during the entire walk. She was probably daydreaming again. Like always.

It wasn't very far to my apartment, but it had turned dark before we reached it. No big astonishment there. It had already been dim when we had left the hospital. As soon as we had entered my flat, Anya had announced that she would go to bed, so she skipped her way to her room. I decided to go to my room as well, to read a book or something like that maybe. I slurped over to my bed room, yawning on the way. The door was closed, but I could see light coming trough from down bellow. Oh great, had I forgotten to turn the light off again? I really needed to stop doing that. I pushed open the door and hushed into the room.

'Oh, so you finally decided to come home.'

I jerked around in shock.

Sitting casually on my bed, was Max Tate.

* * *

**13 pages! Wow, a new record. This took forever people!!!! Seriously. Towards the end my writing gets a b****it bad but I just wanted to update today and couldn't be bothered to go over it again, sorry.**

**- **

**Hope you like the cliffie, hehe**

**-**

**Some of the parts sound a bit lectury, maybe. Like the melancholy, ADHD, or patronymic part for exp. Sorry about that, I suppose I got a bit carried away with all the information I researched and collected (which is partially why I'm so exhausted! I've never researched that much for a fic!!!). Originally I had planned on making Anya have Aspergers but that would've been even more info, making her almost a main character and I can't have that (OC main character, woah!!!!). **

**-**

**And Max Mom made an appearance!!!! Yay, I love the "MILF" -as people on youtube like to call her, lol. She's supposed to be the opposing force to all the insanity going on, since she's a psychiatric. So since she's been introduced the story can finally get rolling…**


	7. MAX On Confusion II and Amusement

**Hello, it's up! I'm really, really sorry for the delay. I had so much stress with my final exams (which went shit) and University and Visas… I pretty much didn't have a life! I knew that I wouldn't be able to update during exam time, which is why I initially said this would take two weeks which would've been right before the start, but being an obedient student, I studied instead. Sorry…**

**But now it's over, and I am so damn glad it is! Yesterday was my GRADUATION! I still can't believe it! No more school, ever!**

On Confusion II and on Amusement as well

_Oh that this too, too solid flesh would melt,_

_thaw and resolve itself into a dew..._

Nay, we wouldn't want that would we! Certainly not concerning me, -there's already enough concerns in my life, although, they are not of my concern. Certainly!

_Tip tap tip tap_, I'm walking –in case you haven't noticed by my explicit presentation of most intriguing onomatopoeia. It was hyperbolic of course, in reality my foot steps make more of a smashing sound -like when you crush inferior life forms, like ants or classmates, under your feet. A very, very powerful smash that is...

About to feel that power was my favourite bore, my comrade Kai. His address I had gotten by scamming through page after page in the local phonebooks, of course I could've gone by alphabetical order, but what fun is there in doing that?

I let myself into his apartment by performing that credit card-door-unlocking trick I had found on the internet, of course, using my honourable father's credit card; I wouldn't want to risk breaking mine after all. So yea, there I was, sitting in Kai's apartment, _but curse my fate for I was here alone_.

That bastard wasn't there! What a bastard! He was another step above all normal bastards. Some sort of ultimate bastard. You might ask yourself, my dear reader, what he had done to deserve this most creative and ambiguous insult. Well I'll tell you my dear reader, I'll tell you for good!

3rd person singular, _He_

3rd person singular- past tense, _made_

1st person singular, _me_

1st person singular- future tense, _get_

adjective, _bored_

So in summary: _He made me get bored_

Yep that's what he did alright. It wasn't until late at night when he got back. And once he finally _did_ get back, he acted as if he wasn't even greatly surprised or shocked by my visit.

'Why are you here Max?'

'Oh why shouldn't I be here?'

'Cut the crap and answer my question.'

He spoke in a tone of indifference and exhaustion. No anger or frustration to be detected. Just boredom. Oh what a bore he was!

'I want you to entertain me.' I stated.

He nodded and grabbed for a book. Then he merely sat down on his bed and started to read. Oh how gracious he looked while reading. How educated and sophisticated. It really didn't suit him. His hair was ruffled and messy, his clothes cheap, from the outlet. He looked like a punk attempting to read. But somehow, I found this culture shock most attractive! I glared at him for another five minutes and then loudly announced my boredom.

'Good for you!' was the cocky reply.

'Nay, it's not good at all. It's rather terrible.' I corrected him.

'Well, you can leave if I bore you that much.'

'Oh yes, oh yes, I will leave and you my pathetic companion, you are coming with me.'

He raised his eyebrow.

'As if.'

'Let's go to the movies.' It was an order, not a suggestion.

'No, I don't have any money to waste on that.'

Like I said previously, it was an order, not a suggestion.

'Of course you don't, you think I didn't know that? Well, surprise, surprise I do. That's why my Dad's money will pay for you.'

'Your Dad's money?

I crossed my arms. 'O yes my Dad's money, it is even so kind to pay for me. Not like it has any other option. I stole it, it has to follow my orders.'

I could describe his facial expression to you, but that would be very boring. So I'll just continue with the action.

'In that case, I don't feel like going to the movies with you.' my boring companion stated.

How could anyone one say something so cruel? He didn't feel like going to the movies with me… why wouldn't he? I am amazing!

Surely I expressed that concern in words, which earned me a mocking grin. Once again: how cruel!

'Cut the I'm-a-sweet-innocent-boy crap, it doesn't suit you!'

I clung onto him and hugged him tightly. 'How can you say that?'

I was actually truly hurt. I had always wanted Kai to like me and suddenly I felt self-conscious.

'Okay whatever, but only because you look so pathetic.'

So he was actually coming, oh that was so nice of him. In return I gave him my most angelic smile. So Kai was a good guy after all. He was quite handsome as well. I had to tell myself to stop drooling. A man as good looking as him, would never go for such a dull and boring creature such as me. Kai left for a few minutes to organize something with a babysitter, I spent that time in my mind, thinking of the weirdest things associated with him.

'Okay, we can go.'

Kai stood in the doorframe. He had exchanged his shirt for a more sophisticated hoodie and he looked quite chappy in it.

I gave him another smile and grabbed his hand, then I dragged him outside.

'Ahm Max.'

I looked up at him with pure, innocent eyes. 'Yea.'

'What is the matter with you?'

'The matter?' I wondered.

'Yes, all of the sudden you're acting weird.'

'Oh.' I lowered my look and was now glancing down, straight at the ground. 'I'm not quite sure.'

'Are you being sincere or just mocking me?' He asked in a tone, that had so much mistrust in it, that it made me almost feel guilty of some unrealistic crime. It tried to avoid my nervosity to show but either way, I could tell that I was blushing. However, I wiped away those insecurities. Now was not the time to be shy.

'Of course I'm being sincere!' I stated. My voice was strong and determined. I just hope I convinced him. Hoping was the only thing that I was able to do, since he didn't utter a reply and I was too nervous to look up at him. However, he didn't seem to mind that I was pressing his hand harder (that's a good sign isn't it?). It was really nice to hold his hand by the way. They might be strong and rough, but they kinda reminded me of my Dad's hand which made me feel somewhat nostalgic but at the same time gave me somewhat of a soul-security. I held his hand during the entire walk to the movies. He didn't seem to mind, not even when we got into a more crowded space, with eyes glaring and lynching us, as if we were something extremely shocking and bad. I would give you a proper comparison but in that moment I felt too awkward to come up with a good one.

'What movie do you want to watch?' Kai asked me. He was looking me right in the eyes while doing so, causing me to blush once again.

'I d-don't mind.' I stuttered. I'd be happy with any choice, as long as he was.

'Well, we have a choice between 'Paranormal activity', '2012' and some chick flic with some random actress whose name I can't be bothered to remember. So my vote goes to 'Paranormal activity' since it's not made by Hollywood.'

I started laughing cynically. 'Oh hell yea. Don't do that Hollywood crap to me. I'm afraid I might just puke my guts out from all the clichés. They're pretty hard to stomach you know! Give me heartburn.'

He gave me an estranged look.

'What? You've never seen a person a sexy as me before?' I countered. 'No go to the counter and order the tickets. I stole the money, so certainly there should not be any more duties for me to do.'

Even though I had just given him an order, he didn't sprint away and carry it out, instead he stood there like a dimwit and smirked at me.

'Welcome back Max.'

'Well you rather well come back with our bloody tickets any moment now, or I'll welcome your crotch to my hand. And then, believe me, you'll well cum!'

He laughed, however, to my misfortune, it was not a nervous giggle, but rather an amused, proper laugh.

'So you threaten me with sexual harassment? Interesting.'

'Oh yes, oh yes. Interesting indeed…' I left it at that and allowed him to come to his own conclusion.

He wasted some more time bullshitting around and then finally got the movie tickets. What a slop! For the reminder of the time we decided to sit on the stairs, him reading through some movie preview mag and me making honest comments on the people passing by us, which really seemed to bug this particular lady. I had commented that she had one messed up face that resembled a beaver, put somehow she had a problem with that. I know that Kai was paying attention to the whole drama that played out, however he didn't utter a word, since he was too much of a pussy.

'We should leave, the movie's about to start.' he suddenly said.

'Leave now? Are you bloody mental? We're about to miss out on the best part.'

'If you're talking about the beginning we should really leave now.'

I broke out into cynical laughter and then patted his head. Oh how innocent and naïve his mind still was.

'Kai, the best part isn't the beginning, it is _missing_ the beginning. Wouldn't you agree that that is just wonderful? It makes a whole new movie out of the film. As the film goes on, you are confused about what is happening. It gives it mystery. And then, in the end, everything is resolved and makes sense, and if not, even better!'

He crossed his arms and shrugged. A sign that he was ready to attempt playing out my philosophy. Bless him! So instead of doing it like all the boring people and bores, we spent another fifteen minutes throwing popcorn at the people bellow us from the top of the stairs. Well, actually it was me throwing, he was just standing next to me, telling me to stop with an unenergetic and not too passionate voice. Of course he actually wanted to join me, I could tell by his anxious facial expression, but due to the silly thing he possessed called morals he had certain issues.

We entered the hall in which the film was played and oy it was a blast. Hundreds and thousands and millions of people in this room (okay, I confess that I might have slightly exaggerated) were all mega-pussies and shuttering in fear. Me and Kai however remained calm and collected, we sat down in the front row (everyone knows that the last row is for pussies! The front is the best since the actors faces that are projected on the screen and are larger than live and hence so intriguingly surreal. To be able to see properly, you almost need to lie down on your seat and stare up, it's like glaring at the stars at night. Just that like this the starts are not astronomical bodies composed of a bunch of different chemical and heat energy, no, this time the stars were overpaid posers, even if not for Hollywood. But either way, how can anyone possibly like to miss out on _that_ grand scale sensation? Oh they must have no imagination whatsoever). The movie itself didn't actually amuse me as much as I expected, but I had brought along Kai to do that deed instead. So as soon as I got only the tiniest bit bored, I decided to use him for my entertainment. And of course in honourable manner of using someone I toyed with one of his biggest fears and needs. He was sitting in a casual position, his knees angled, feet on the seat, almost like in trance, glaring up at the screen.

Perfect!

The conditions were just perfect.

I leaned towards him, he didn't realize that I did, however what he did realise was when I placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

He flinched, jerked back and tried to holler a 'Max!' which instead came out as a faint whisper.

'What's the matter, dimwit?' I replied, highly amused.

Oh how amusing this situation had turned out. In his mind those so called 'morals' were probably causing his thoughts to race (and lose). Oh how amusing indeed.

'Max, you're in a relationship with Hiro.'

Apparently he saw that as a reason against having a horny and sexy hook-up session with glorious, little me.

'Oh cut the bunkum, that's no relationship! And if it were, even better, I've always been quite a supportive fan of adultery!'

'Max, I can't, Hiro's my friend.'

As predicted, oh this was good. He didn't even realize that I was toying with him.

'But Kai, I really like you.' I ensured him in my sweetest voice, and then snuggled closer to him. 'You are so strong and so handsome, you are the man of my dreams.'

Of course I was bullshitting, but this was just too fun. Unfortunately he knew me to well.

'I'm not falling for that. What do you want.'

He made me laugh. Hmm, maybe he wasn't such a bore after all. At least he was somewhat intelligent.

'I want entertainment!'

'Well you're not getting any out of me, I'm not your bitch.'

'I'm not asking you to be my bitch, I'm asking you to entertain me.'

I stroke my hand along his leg, causing him to flinch again. I could tell he didn't really have much sexual contact with anyone. So he probably was horny, and doesn't, like witnessed with our dear companion Hiro, horniness bring out the worst in people. This applied for everyone. Sex is the reason for which we were created (although Biologists, would probably rather call it 'mating' or something boring like that). Of course Kai couldn't resist it either, as I wrapped my arm around his waist and leaned in for another kiss. This time, our lips didn't touch faintly. This time it was full on

frenching, macking,

scamming, slacking,

making, hooking,

tonguing, banging

Oh yes it was. And like this, Kai wasn't as 'calm and collected' as usually, he was trembling and shivering very much like the bitch for me that he was. And that way I liked him so much better!

Of course at some point he would pull away and mutter something concerning Hiro, but every time I managed to 'get him back to get it on'. What do you want me to say or do? I'm simply not a moral sort of fella and hell yea I am glad, how frustrating must it be to be held back by emotions of guilt?

Nice, nice, nice. Life's going well!

xxx

Of course, due to most annoying reasons of physics, the film ended shortly after our make out session, however, I had gotten bored by us getting it on anyways. Now it was time to lean back and witness Kai's most amusing guilt trip. Oh how I had been looking forward to that.

'So hotshot? What did you have to say concerning Hiro?'

I expected him to come out with the typical 'oh, I'm such a bad friend'/ 'I don't deserve his forgiveness'/ 'How can I ever make it up to him?'. But instead I got something quite unexpected out of him:

'I'm not a saint!'

Excuse me!

'I'm not a saint!' he repeated. 'I know I needed it. This whole thing with you. I know that you were playing with me, but I didn't expect to get anything else out of it. I know that it was immoral towards Hiro, but what am I supposed to do now. What's done is done, and I enjoyed it.'

Wow, wow, wow, brutal honesty, smacking me right in the face. However, such a thing does no longer have a degrading effect on me, that Max is long gone. It rather an amusing effect. Quite amusing indeed! Kai wasn't such a bore after all, he knew how to amuse me.

This was FUN.

'Hey, hey, heh!' I poked him. 'Kai, do you love me?'

'No.'

I smirked.

'Perfect!'

And yes, I meant it!

xxx

The next significant event that happened that evening was the return to my house, where my father was already standing right in the hallway, ready to hang up my jacket and bring my shoes into the shoes locker. But it turned out, that he, strangely, had very different reasons for standing in the hallway like a dysfunctional idiot. Apparently he had been '_worried_' and '_scared_' about me. Something so silly!

'Where were you Maxie, I was worried and scared about you!'

Told you!

'Me, oh I was out hooking up and ruining friendships.' I replied, to my surprise, in honesty.

'What do you mean Maxie?'

'Dad, do you like to think of me as one of the good guys'

'The Good Guys' is a warehouse store by the way, if I may remark.

'Of course I do!' that was my Dad.

I patted his shoulder. 'In that case, my dear father, I will opt not to tell you. Have a good night!'

With those words I walked away, leaving him standing there like the puzzled bitch he was. Oh this was just too much fun!

Once again, I was fully in control. There I was, the secret ruler of this world, dissociated from all those victims of society due to the fact that I actually possessed intelligence and lacked morals. Plant nothing else and root out all the rest! That way, you will make quite a successful harvest and to your personal amusement, all the neighbours are going to be oh-so-jealous of your numerous yield!

So rest your mind and hope for FUN

…and _amusement_!

.-.

**In case you might have been confused about the nice max part, he had a mood change and became 'sweet Max' again. And by the way Kai and Max a****re not yet a couple or anything resembling a couple. It's complicated, but you'll understand as the story progresses.**

**Leave a review if you liked it. **

**And once again, sorry for the delay. The next update will be in max 3 weeks. I will have time since I have holidays, so it's a promise!**


	8. TYSON On Sincerity

**You'll witness a premiere. Tyson's point of view! Not sure if you noticed but I do actually have some sort of pattern in this. It's always: Max POV –someone else's POV- Max POV –someone else's POV- etc. **

**It took me ages and a couple of drafts to decide on a POV for this chapter****. I had written a few pages in Hiro's but figured that it was a bit to rushed and didn't fit the mood yet/anymore. So here's Tyson's.**

**x-x**

I'll tell you something. Growing up sucks big time! Big-Time! Not necessarily because you yourself change (to be honest, I don't think that I personally changed that much) but because the people around you do, and it sucks. Let's take my friend Maxie for example. He used to cling to me and wanted to spend every single day with me, but suddenly, whenever I invite him over, he declines and claims that he has plans. Seriously, there is no need for him to go to the dentist _that_ often. And also, he started chatting with that weird Russian fella during Polynomics. Back a year ago, we both would avoid these kind of people. Those that are obviously druggies and up to no good! And Kai is one of those. Rei figured it out from beginning on, and Rei is smart, so I'll follow him blindly on that one (which is what Max should do as well, if he would want to continue to stay out of trouble). Actually, come to think of it, it is Kai that is messing up my private life. Hiro has been different ever since he's been hanging out with him. Gramps says he's more confident but I'd rather call it cocky. They met during detention! Like seriously, that's _ground_ to failure! Like, -their relationship is _built_ on failure!  
Rei has changed as well, actually. He's more quiet and reserved, and somewhat tense. I think the fact that his Visa is running out soon is really stressing him out. Hell, it is stressing me out! Rei is personified wisdom and one of my best friends (the other one being Maxie). Without his guidance, Maxie and I will be lost and probably get stupid ideas (I'm especially worried about Maxie! Ever since he's been chatting with that rookie Kai, he's more prone to 'drop-out-of-school-and-become-a-junkie Syndrome'). Max is actually the oldest one of our little group, but he doesn't look it or act it. He's this innocent little angel that is being corrupted by the 'king of the street gangs' Kai. It's pretty obvious that Kai is a bad guy. You only need to look at the way he dresses. It is beyond eccentric. -And he dies his hair. I don't want to be superficial, but what proper young adult would purposely dress in that attire when he knows that people are going to be judgemental.  
Another reason why I don't like him is that he never seems intimidated when I stare at him with my 'death glare'.  
Arrogant bastard! My death glare has gotten really good over the years. He could at least pretend to be affected by it!  
'Hey kiddo, I'm going out!' that's Hiro speaking.  
Lot's of people my age would hate to be called 'kiddo', but I like it. Reminds me of back when things were good and enjoyable.  
'Where to?' I ask him.  
And like so often lately, his answer is: 'to meet up with Kai'. How typical! Well, I ought to say, one good thing on Kai's part is that he appears to have an interest in meeting up with my brother. Unlike my friends. Rei can only come over for an hour max since he needs to study. And Maxie hasn't met with me (or Rei for that matter) since the time two weeks ago when we watched Spongebob together. The day after he started wearing armguards to school (yes I did notice). He pretends to pass it on as a fashion statement but it seems somewhat strange to me, as if he's trying to hide something. But I don't mention it and simply continue to act like Tyson the happy-chappy dork everyday. I'm afraid, that if my friends were to notice that I might as well have changed, our trio might split up for good. Also, it would make it all more real. All those ways in which we've changed. I hate change! I truly hate it. Why can't everything just stay the same. That's why I pretend it is. Out of sight out of mind! I just wish that my friends would put the same amount of effort into pretending as I do.  
There is an extended weekend. For the first time in my life (apart from when I was an infant of course), I end up doing nothing. Well, I do hang in front of the TV watching the 'Malcolm in the middle' marathon eating take-away but I no longer count that as doing something since it doesn't require personality or passion, or in general, any effort on my side. I don't learn from it, I don't profit from it, I'm actually not even that entertained by it. The highlight of the days pretty much include watching Hiro enter and leave the house to meet with Kai. It used to be the other way around. Hiro would watch me leave (to meet up with Max and Rei of course, not with Kai). Gramps says that Hiro appears to be happier lately. I considered it to have something to do with drug abuse and suggested that Gramps should get Hiro's urine tested for weed, however Gramps just laughed it off and started telling a story about that scary flower power time in connection with his youth. I couldn't get out of it if Gramps truly encouraged drug use or if he simply didn't want to get in contact with Hiro's pee.  
I know this sounds crazy, but on the Tuesday I was damn happy for school to start again. At least I could go on with my pretending and get that nostalgic feeling of happiness back.  
I saw Maxie sitting on his chair, the arms crossed on the table and the head sunken on them. He had a slightly spaced out look in his eyes, not seeming to pay attention to anything surrounding him.  
'Hello Max, how was your weekend, what did you do?' I asked with a high pitch overly excited voice.  
That question used to be redundant since we would always spend every minute of our weekends together. And even if not, we would have discussed every single detail of what the other would do beforehand.  
Maxie scratched his head and gave me a wide grin. I noticed that he was once again wearing his armguards, they would peak out when the sleeves of his hoodie would slide down. However I once again didn't address the matter. I needed to continue to pretend.  
'I didn't really do much on my weekend, it was quite boring actually. How about you?'

'Yea, me neither.' I told him.  
'We should have called each other up and met. Sorry, I didn't think of it earlier. You know, my memory is a bit silly sometimes.'  
Of course he was lying, I knew he would have called me if he would have had any interest in doing so, but I didn't get into it anymore. Instead I grinned at him and started to re-enact an episode of 'Malcolm in the Middle' that I had seen.  
And he pretended to listen.  
Soon, Rei walked into the classroom and called me immature, as always. The three of us were laughing together. It was like back in the good old days.  
Of course, that feeling didn't last forever, during lunchtime, Maxie announced that he had detention for some reason and left. I figured that he was lying. We were pretty much in all the same classes, if he would've gotten detention, I would have known. Rei realized as well, he started discussing some idea that Maxie had gone to detention voluntarily just to see Kai. I figured he had gone there, just to avoid us, instead. I contemplated if I should discuss the matter that Max had changed lately with Rei. He was wise. But I figured that Rei hadn't quite realized. Rei was the type that would announce such a thing as soon as he got the thought, and he wouldn't hold back in Maxie's presence either. For the same reason I didn't either mention the armguards. I was afraid that Rei would immediately jump into action, causing Maxie to reveal whatever he was hiding and hence destroying that pretended balance between us. I know this was a very selfish reason, but as a matter of fact, I'm just a human. I do possess a quite healthy ego that keeps things working the way I like them. I know it's not the proper thing to do, but it was necessary for my happiness to prevail.

xxx

My ego controlled me for another week, until one afternoon I got quite a revolutionary drive and in the passion of the moment decided to go to Max place and to address him concerning his armguards, which, no doubt, concealed some sort of self injury. I was wondering what had caused him to hurt himself in the first place and then I realised that the reasoning behind him cutting himself might cause him to do even more outrageous things. And in that moment, I was scared shitless about my friend. I was running up the road to his place. He certainly didn't live far from me, only a couple of minutes away, which in some ironic symbolism dramatised the fact that we were physically so close but mentally so far apart. The door to his house was open. I rang the doorbell out of politeness but nobody appeared. In that moment I felt my blood freezing. He wouldn't leave the door open if no one was home would he? Which meant that he a) didn't want to open the door or b) was unable to. The second option was what caused me to panic and storm into his house, right into the living room.  
And there he was.  
But not motionless in a pool of blood. No instead he was lying on the Sofa in Kai's arms. And yes, they were kissing. Like, not just, discrete on the cheek or something like that. No, full frontal with loads of moaning and groping and tongue and saliva and oh-my-gosh, Max wasn't wearing a shirt!  
It was like watching some old seventies porno.  
It didn't seem like they had noticed me, so I, feeling suddenly very bad for intruding on Max' privacy, quietly made some backwards steps and then stormed out of the house.  
Holy crap!  
Maxie was gay?  
What the _hell_?  
Maxie was gay… with Kai?  
What the _fuck_?  
I collapsed on a street corner, angling my knees and placing my arms on top of them. This was so surreal. There were always those friends of a friend who knew someone who was gay. In the same way friends of a friend knew someone with lupus or friends of a friend knew someone who had won in the lottery.  
But Maxie being gay. That was just… strange.  
I didn't know how to react to it. Like, if I was supposed to be grossed out or not mind. Hell, I have never thought about that kind of stuff, it just didn't seem like something to worry about. Like a terrorist attack. You don't tend to worry about being blown up by a terrorist bomb randomly because it's so unlikely to happen. In the same way I found it unlikely that either one of my best friends would be gay. Gahh, what should I do about it? I contemplated if I should ask Hiro for advice but then I figures that Hiro probably would have even less of a clue about what to do. And Rei would immediately confront Max concerning the matter. So instead I did the typical teenage thing that seemed the most productive to me: I googled it.  
It came up with some weird sites for parents. How to accept that your son is gay. Hmm, that might be useful for me too, I thought. However it didn't turn out to be that useful. Instead it was a paragraph on 'he is your flesh', 'he has your DNA', 'your child is the most valuable gift you possess'. I decided to try out the next link, which however turned out to be gay porn. Gay porn with a very loud soundtrack!  
'Eww!' I squeaked and moved the mouse towards the backwards arrow to exit the page. Unluckily for me, in that moment the door opened.  
'Hey Tyson, dinner's read... oh wow!'  
That was Hiro. Yes Hiro had popped his head into the room during the exact moment that my computer monitor was filled with the graphic images of a gay porn movie.  
'Ahhh!' I screamed, and quickly closed the tab. Not like it made any difference, he had already seen enough to make an educated assumption.  
'Wow, Tyson, I would have never guessed, not like I mind...'  
'Ahhh!' I yelled to stop him from continuing to talk. 'It's not like that.'  
That however, didn't stop him. He walked up to me and gave me a solid hug.  
'Don't worry Tyson, I won't shun you. I'll support whatever lifestyle you'll chose. It's okay to be gay.' he ensured me.  
'No, no, no this is a misunderstanding.'  
'Don't be afraid to confess it, I myself have been a bit experimental in that direction as well...'  
Excuse me, what?  
'Hiro, you're gay?'  
'I wouldn't say that I am entirely gay, but I sure am curious. So how about you Ty, is there a specific guy you have set sight on?  
I ripped free from his hug. 'I'm not gay.' I stated in a confident voice.  
'What do you mean?' Hiro asked in surprise.  
'I was looking up porn and suddenly that site popped up. I didn't mean to look at gay porn. There was no intention. I am not gay.'  
Hiro suddenly got all pale. 'Oh, well in that case, just ignore whatever I just said.'  
Then he rushed out of the room.  
Oh great, so in the passage of one hour, I found out that my best friend is gay, dating the school rebel and that my brother is somewhat bi-curious.  
The following fifteen minutes at the dinner table composed the most awkward dinner of my life.

xxx

After dinner, Hiro quickly left, claiming he wanted to meet up with Kai. I decided that I needed to clear my mind of all the strangeness going on at the moment and ended up watching an episode of 'Ally McBeal -single female lawyer' with my grandfather (yes, he watches that kind of stuff) until suddenly the door bell started ringing.  
'I'll take it.' I announced.  
Happy to be relieved of the self-inflicted punishment of watching a soap about a single female lawyer I jerked up and slowly walked to the door (you need to savour the time when not watching!). Once I opened the door I came face to face with one of the last people in this world that I wanted to be confronted with in that very moment.  
'Good evening Tyson.'  
'Hrmph, hello Kai.' I mumbled.  
'Is your brother there?'  
'He actually went off to meet you about fifteen minutes ago.'  
However, unlike me, Kai wasn't confused about that. I figured that Hiro probably didn't intend to meet him in the first place, or else they would have encountered each other. Hiro had probably used Kai as an excuse to go somewhere else, and judging from Kai's smirk, that guy knew exactly what was going on.  
'Oh hello there K-man, come on in old chap!' my grandpa yelled. Apparently the ads where on so he had focused his attention off the screen and realised that Kai was standing at the door.  
Kai declined the invitation with surprising politeness:  
'Good evening sir, thank you for your invitation, it is very kind of you, but I'm fine.'  
'Oh, don't make such a big deal out of it, you just walked here didn't you? At least have a drink!'  
Kai thanked him once again and then walked inside.  
Oh great! He was one of the last people I wanted to see at the moment, and certainly one of the last people I wanted to have standing in the house. Whenever I looked at him, I had that disturbing mental image of him and Max in my mind. I couldn't help but wonder why gramps appeared to be on such good terms with some random street punk. Actually, come to think of it, he didn't look that much like a social reject in that moment. I studied his outfit with my eyes. He actually looked quite normal. Blue Jeans, with a dress shirt under a brown jumper and neatly brushed hair. He wasn't wearing that war paint or weird scarf of his. He looked normal, simple as that.  
'So Kai, any change of plans or do you still plan to do that nursery class in community college next year?' Gramps asked him while handing him a glass of coke (damn, Gramps, never allowed me to drink coke after dinner).  
Wait, nursery class? Kai and nursery class, that ought to be a joke. I could so not imagine him helping sick people.  
'I still plan on doing it.'  
Okay, this was so strange. Kai as a nurse, that was quite a funny mental image.  
'And you really want to work in that mental asylum?'  
'Yes. I got some connections, so I am likely to get a job there once I'm done with community college.'  
So he wanted to work in a mental institution. Okay, that was slightly less gay.  
'Too bad that you cannot become a proper psychiatrist, if that's really what you want to do.' Gramps mumbled. 'It's a pity.'  
'It is, but Universities are too expensive in this country, I cannot afford it. And I won't ask my grandfather for money. I suppose I will just have to hold back my personal aspirations now that I'm not just responsible for myself.'  
'Why can't you ask your grandpa?' I wanted to know. I didn't mean to get involved in the discussion between him and my gramps but that statement had made me curious.  
'He would not give me any.' Kai stated. 'He is very different to your grandfather, Tyson. Besides, I wouldn't want to get any further involved with him.  
'Does he have money problems?' I know that was a very personal question, but it somehow slipped my tongue.  
'Yes.' Kai replied. 'He's a millionaire.'  
I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. Being a millionaire certainly wouldn't give you money problems, however Kai had said it with such sincerity. Seeing that I didn't really understand what he meant, he turned back to me and explained.  
'Money destroys people's minds. Makes them corrupt. Too much money, gives you power and power can drive you insane.'  
Wait, that meant that Kai was rich. Or at least his family was. I had always thought him to be from poor circumstances but his grandfather was a millionaire! Suddenly my perception of the youth delinquent street punk Kai changed by 180 degrees. Suddenly, he had gone from being a fixed stereotype to being some sort of enigmatic character.  
Gramps continued the conversation.  
'You said you expected him to have a mental disorder.'  
Kai nodded. 'It is likely, I'm not a doctor, but judging from the history of paranoid schizophrenia in my family, it is certainly very plausible.'  
Once again, I intruded in the conversation. 'You have a history of schizophrenia in your family?'  
Kai sunk his head and avoided my look for a second.  
'Yes, on both sides of my family. A cousin, an uncle, and both my parents.'  
'Oh wow, are they like, in a mental hospital or something?'  
'Everyone is, apart from my mother. She couldn't handle it anymore.'  
'What do you mean by that?' Once I had formed the question I could see my grandfather violently shaking his head behind Kai. Oh crap, did that mean I was intruding on a touchy topic. However, Kai explained the case to me either way.  
'She killed herself. Ran in front of a car, her doctor suggested that she might have thought that she was being chased. I don't think so.'  
Oh, this was a bit intimate. I'm amazed he told me. He was usually very reserved and didn't actually speak much, not with anyone.  
'I'm sorry.'  
'Don't worry about it. The medication for schizophrenia numbs emotions and feelings. It is hard to get close to someone if there is no interest or care being reflected from the other. And it is hard to truly miss that kind of person, too.'  
His voice was bitter, but once again sincere. I still didn't understand why he would confide in me. I was known to be noisy and loud mouthed. Why would he entrust me all that personal information? I noticed how he was shifting his weight from one leg to another, as if he were nervous about something.  
'It's time, I need to go.' he informed us.  
We spoke our good byes, Gramps opened the door for him and he wandered off, outside. He didn't even reach the end of our front yard when I announced that I would walk him home, which was met with great astonishment from Gramps and a nonchalant nod from Kai.

xxx

We walked next to each other for about five minutes, when to my surprise, Kai was the one to break the silence.  
'So what did you want to talk to me about?'  
So he figured out that I had a reason to follow him.  
'Why did you confine in me? Figures that all you said was quite personal, so why would you trust me with it?'  
His still expression turned into a faint but honest smile.  
'Your Grandfather is a very wise man. He wouldn't have addressed those topics in your presence if he would have expected you to spoil them to the entire school tomorrow. I think your Grandfather intended to do me a favour. He knows you're not fond of me and probably figured that you would change your perception of me if you were to know more. I have to confess, I did act out of self profit by telling you.'  
He did succeed by doing so, dammit! The way I viewed Kai had changed. I knew his story was quite dramatic, he had gone through a lot, but what struck me was his sincerity. It was like a direct contrast to my lifestyle of pretence.  
'Do you have any other questions?'  
I nodded. 'Where's Hiro? You know, don't you?'  
'I do.'  
'And...' I let it hang in the air like a question.  
'I won't tell you.'  
What? Why not? Judging from Kai's reply, I couldn't help but guessing that Hiro was up to something bad.  
'It's nothing to worry about.' he ensured me. 'It's just something he doesn't want you to know about. Your brother is one of the only people I feel a loyalty towards, so you don't need to bother begging me for information, I won't tell.'  
His voice was very calm and genuine. He had turned out to be so different from what I had expected him to be like. I wanted to ask him why he put on a mask at school, obviously displaying himself in a very fake way, but there was an answer to another question that I was burning to know.  
'Do you love Maxie?'  
He stopped walking and looked straight at me with a perplexed expression.  
'I saw you two today. I wanted to go see Maxie, the door was open, I was worried. Then I saw you together.' I confessed.  
He didn't reply for a while, instead he just stared at me as if he were trying to study my face.  
'No.' he then said.  
'No?' I asked in surprise.  
'I don't love him.'  
I was in rage. Was he just using Max?  
'Max knows, he feels the same.' Kai stated bluntly.  
But then... 'Why would you be a couple?'  
'We're not, we're just _together_, in a sense. Love is neither the base nor a requirement for a relationship, and it is more enjoyable without it. Sometime you'll understand Tyson.'  
I did understand that 'love' wasn't necessarily needed, take High School Couples, it was obvious that not all feelings were sincere, but I didn't understand why it would be more enjoyable without. Didn't they always say that a relationship was the best when in love? -At least in movies they did.  
We had continued walking, and kept mostly quiet, until we reached a large apartment building.  
'This is where I live. Thanks for the company.'  
I laughed. 'Nuh, it was fine, I don't mind walking.'  
But Kai didn't laugh or smile for that matter, his expression was serious again. 'I have a favour to ask you. Don't tell anyone about Max and I. Especially not Hiro.'  
Seems like I found out about a topic he wouldn't want to trust me about after all.  
'Okay. I'll keep it a secret. But Kai, I have one more question.'  
He made a 'hm' sound for which I took the freedom of translating it into 'go ahead'.  
'You mentioned that Paranoid Schizophrenia is a genetic disease. Does that mean that you are likely to get it?'  
'Yes, I am very much at risk.'  
'Are you scared about getting it?'  
He sunk his head and avoided my stare. 'I am. Very.'

xxx

'_Toot_...-_toot_...-_toot_...-Hello, Kon residence, this is Rei on the phone.'  
-'Hello Rei, this is Tyson. I wanted to talk to you about something quite serious.'  
'Serious? Ty, 'serious' doesn't really fit your personality.'  
-'It's about Maxie, I don't think you've noticed, but for the last couple of weeks he's been wearing those armguards, as if he's hiding something. I'm worried. I think we should confront him about it.'


	9. MAX On Amusement II, Dignity II

**An**** update! This one's actually quite different. I decided to bear with you folks and give you some smut in return for you having endured all my psychology lectures and ramblings. Oh and by the way, in case it actually exists and there's some copyright law on it, I don't own 'Fuckzilla' either (in addition to not owning Beyblade).**

*****_**gubas **_**–coming from the Russian word **_**guba**_** meaning 'lips'**

******_**viddying**_** –Nadsat (if I'm not mistaking), -meaning 'watching'**

**xxx**

**. .**

Chapter VIII

On Amusement II, Dignity II and Finger Twitching

**. .**

xxx

'_Itzy Bitzy spider, luh-la, luh-la-la,_

_Down came the rain, and washed poor Itzy out._

_Up came the sun and luh-la, luh-la-la,_

_And Itzy Bitzy spider went luh-la, luh-la-la.'_

'Are you mental?'

The kid roared its ugly face at me while its mother, quite visibly, grabbed for it's arm and dragged it away from me, in an superficial and clearly acted attempt of making it appear she'd been doing her best to keep her oh-so-ugly son from bothering me. I opposed these 'efforts' by leaning down as close as possible to the ugly little face and stating:

'yes'

_Silenzio..._

The Mom groped the ugly kids arm and pulled it away from me. For real, this time.

'Maxie, come!'

'Maxie? Oh what are the odds?' In my favour of course, as always! What other is there to expect? I leaned back down to the kid and informed it: 'Though I wasn't as ugly as you when I was your age...'

The mother roughly tugged at the kid and posed in a quite gangster way in front of it, as if she were doing me the pleasant favour of keeping the ugliness out of the reach of my eyes.

'What are you doing here in front of a day-care centre? You creep!'

'Oi, oi, oi, what's with the insult my lovely lady. Someone as beautiful as you shouldn't use such ugly language.'

I glared back at the child. '...As a matter of fact, someone as beautiful as you shouldn't have born such an ugly child.' (it is quite amazing, how ugliness has this effect, that even though it repulses, you just cannot keep your eyes off it. it's like when you have some sort of sore in your mouth, even though it hurts, you just have to keep on tabbing it with your tongue, real horrorshow)

The woman was about to slap me and oh joy would that have been entertaining (a hypocritical, scandalous, despicable action, in front of the eyes of her son and all the children of the day-care centre, and most important of all, showcasing me as the 'victim' on the receiving end of it) however fate had it bad with me that day, so it seems, as in the blink of the moment, someone stepped in between us and took the bitch's bitch slap in my place.

'Oh Nikolaj! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hit you.' the woman sobbed apathetically as she realised the error.

The young man who she had addressed, cowardly and spinelessly accepted the apology, then turned towards me: 'So seriously, why are you here?'

I angled my arms and pressed my hands against my sides, imitating that oh-so-ominous stance that old ladies and teachers always did, when they hoped to awe you.

'As a matter of fact, I'm looking for a harlot.' Then I stepped up on my trippy little tip toes to give Kai a chaste kiss on the _gubas_. 'As a matter of fact, seems like I found one.'

Despite my truly tremendous efforts and even risking receiving an oh-so-violent slap by a near crazy and vandalous woman, he didn't appear all too impressed.

'I'm not your bitch.'

I wouldn't have minded that statement, that were if it came with some more passion and fury, however, he said it in that bored tone, the one he always used, _he_, the bore he was. Another example of this induced proper attitude towards society, was him spending a bit of time explaining to that poor, poor woman who was so tremendously shocked over the open display of most atrocious homosexuality, that I was just some silly, mentally disturbed boy from school (a description which I actually quite fancied). Then we went on, walking to his apartment.

'I still need to get changed. I can't go to school wearing my daddy-outfit.' he informed me.

I groped his bum. 'Oh I'll help you with it, with pleasure that is.'

'I told you I needed to get changed, not that I wanted to have sex with you.' he hissed, in a tone as if those two previously named things were _actually_ not the same.

xxx

My will, I didn't actually get (I told you, fate was not on my side that day), however I did get some steamy tongue twisting and finger fiddling (if you know what I mean, -South of the border, to give you a hint). And I ought to say, even though it was probably Kai's first attempt, he was doing a damn, iniquitous, amazingly, reprobate, illegally, odious, ridiculously, reputable, outrageously BAD job at it!

'Oh, oh, man, you suck…unfortunately not 'cock' that is.' I informed him.

He moved away from my crotch and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

'Well excuse me for trying!' he said in a bitter tone.

That sobby, truly hurt expression in his face actually quite pleased me, more actually, than both his hand and blow job attempts combined, so I leaned in for the kiss, this time, North of the boarder this time (just wanted to be a bit proper myself, heh, for a change).

-But oh-most-shocking: he pushed me away.

'Hey-he-hey, what's that all about?'

He didn't answer, instead he pinned me down on the bed and hovered over me. If I may remark, he did have quite a good built, if you overlooked his silly fear of being seen naked, that is. A strong and heavy bosom, just the way I liked it. I liked it muscular too of course. And muscular it was. But contrary to what his body may portray, Kai was weak. So I pulled him down and kissed those lips, those weak, weak lips. And it was almost like doing an act of charity.

He was into it too, he enjoyed it of course. He allowed my tongue to slob over his, and to exchange bacterial fluids. Then he allowed mine to stroke the inside of his gubas, and to tickle against his teeth.

'I'm not your bitch.' he hissed, -suddenly but repeatedly. The words were choked and spoken, quite fast actually. He wanted to bring across his statement, and then continue with the slobbing. Oh I could tell! My dear reader, dear Kai couldn't fool me! I purposely broke away from him, -just to piss the hell out of him.

'You _still_ going on about that, heh?'

He nodded innocently, then suddenly broke out into timid giggling.

'I'm being silly aren't I?'

That question made me smile. That's all it did. It didn't make me answer, it made me smile.

However it made Kai move his hand, down to where it belonged. And it made his second attempt better, -which came quite handy on my part (pun intended).

xxx

Kai was one of those weird people. The kind that was too ashamed to look you in the eyes after a make-out session, that didn't like to be seen naked, that would get all funny and reserved after a tiny bit of intimacy. Too proper, seeing 'expressed lust' as a weakness. Oh yes, weak he was. But for a different reason. He was the kind that was aware of the phony superficiality of the modern age. Like hell, he was aware, he even used it in his favour, controlling people thoughts and expectations off him merely by the way he dressed in different occasions ( I could tell he had quite a joyous time, presenting himself as a teenage rebel without even having to act this part, oh-most-wonderful, I'd wish I had gotten into that idea myself). However, Kai was scared of these patterns of society. Scared and hence controlled by them. Which is why, instead of acting all happy-cute-couple with me, he stood a couple of meters away, with his back turned towards me. Pulling on his trousers with nervously twitching fingers.

It made me wonder how he did it, the finger twitching that is. Whenever I'd get nervous or excited, my fingers remained under my command. It was boring.

'You don't need to act like that, it's not like we fucked.' I yelled.

This time his whole body twitched.

'We didn't. And it's not like we ever will.'

He kept his voice stoic and dry, which deemed pointless to me, as I had already been able to tell that he was nervy. No point in hiding it.

I jumped off the bed, causing the springs to make a shrill ehh-ahh sound, announcing my act to Kai, as if they were warning him. So a bunch of lousy bed springs weren't on my side, no big deal. I was still able to conquer. And yes how I did conquer him. Sneaking up to him as he still had his back turned towards me, and then, going for the catch: Looking his naked torso in a tight arm grip.

'Max, get off.'

His body was twitching again.

'I don't want to.'

He blushed. But didn't say anything.

'Oh dear Kai, am I making you feel all dirty. Oh I am aren't I?'

I mocked him.

-And I enjoyed it.

'Oh you were such a naughty, naughty boy, back, only a couple o' minutes ago. Very naughty.'

-He didn't.

'Get off me Max.'

Unfortunately he was stronger than me and 'got me off'. And in order to keep me off, he held my wrists in a tight grip.

'Stop that, you're hurting me!'

He let go immediately, but he did have the 'courtesy' of adding a snappy comment. 'It's not like you didn't deserve it.'

I laughed. 'So, so.'

For some reason he was being really pissy.

'You could tell that I felt a bit uncomfortable and you still went on. Why? Because you enjoy making others suffer. It pleases you, doesn't it?'

'Oh yes, dear Kai, it does.' It did, it did.

'I don't seem to be very _dear_ to you.' he hissed.

I didn't reply him on that one, I didn't feel like it. Instead, I grinned at him in great amusement.

'Well Max, in fact you are dear to many people. Hiro, Tyson, that Chinese fella…, but you treat it all like a joke, isn't that right?'

'Sure is!' This was getting entertaining. Yours truly!

'Oh what am I saying? That's all life is to you, a joke. Am, I right? And we're just figures in your game, for your amusement, am I right?'

Geez, I couldn't understand why he kept on wanting re-assurance for his statements. He had it all figured out after all, and he was so awfully proud off it too. Not like it was very hard at all.

Suddenly, he laughed.

'It was obvious from beginning on. I knew it, and I still went on with it. I felt that I was exactly like you Max, just searching for entertainment. And it's the truth. I am. My life has become such a weak and pathetic junk of bullshit, I wanted entertainment. I wanted that good old feeling of control. I wanted it _back_.'

I clapped him on the back, as some sort of reward for his epiphany.

'Good on ya man, proud of you.' I didn't mean it. I didn't care much for his realisation or confession or whatever that was, at all. All I knew was that it had great entertainment value.

'So is everything all back to normal now, heh?' I asked for assurance.

'No, with us, it's over.'

'Over?' Was he going insane himself now? He _needed_ me. I knew he did.

He smirked. And this smirk oh my dear reader, I wish you had seen it. It was truly malicious, eccentric. _Beautiful_.

'I'm not your bitch, Max. I never suited that role, but I seem to always be taking it when I'm with you.'

His whole control plan, by trying to perform it, he had been going against himself. How ironic.

He reached out a hand for me to shake. This time it was not a cry for help. Weak, little Kai had set a milestone. I didn't shake his hand. Instead, I gave him another faint kiss, barely even touching the surface of his lips. This time, it was not for charity.

xxx

I was off to school. Actually, we both had a free period that morning (him having a double, opposing to my single, that bastard). I would have still had time to spare, but in all honesty, I had been afraid that staying at Kai's place for any longer would tremendously bore me. And I didn't want that. I wanted to savour the memory of Kai showing me a different side of him. One that wasn't obedient and submissive. This other side of him, I ought to confess, had been strangely entertaining. I caught myself thinking, that our relationship was a loss, almost worthy to be sad about. Almost.

Arriving at school I was greeted in great anticipation by my mushies: moronic Tyson and neurotic Rei. I could tell they were keen on questioning me about something, but they lacked the necessary guts to get to the point. Either way, their struggle was quite amusing. Just when Rei appeared to have grown balls the oh-so-cruel school bell urged us to go to class. Truly a pity.

It was history class. Something about the Second World War and the occupation of East Prussia. How Germany had surrendered it to the Soviet Power. The teacher was chatting on about what happened to the people of East Prussia, but I didn't quite listen. I was too occupied with my daydream. To me, Superpowers always had something fascinating about them. The way they could conquer and overpower inferior nations. Fantastic! What bugged me was why they didn't do it? What were they waiting for? If I were one of the leaders of a Superpower country, it wouldn't take me long. It would be like the Roman Empire all over again. Just bigger! And more tyrannic! Oh bliss...

'Mr Tate. Would you like to share your thoughts?' the teacher urged me.

Oh yes I would, I'd like it very much. Oh how lovely it would be to see the expressions of pure shock and horror on their faces when I were to announce my rank and glorious plan to them. But it wasn't the right time yet. I would wait for the correct time, and then it would be big…

'I'm sorry, sir, I was just thinking.' Sweet Max whispered.

'Well in that case, how about you tell me your thoughts concerning East Prussia.'

'Uhm, …that's where Kai's from!'

I could have slapped myself for that answer. What the hell was up with that? Why was Kai spooking in _my_ mind? I looked around the room; of course I had made a total fool out of myself. People were _laughing_ at me. I couldn't believe it! They were supposed to be there for _my_ entertainment, not the other way around! What kind of perverse order was this? And it didn't end there to all excess: after class, while I walked off to take a piss, Tyson approached me:

'You must really love him, heh?'

He gave me a cheeky smile and poked my side. 'Heh, heh?'

'Excuse me!'

_That_, was just downright repulsive.

Tyson continued on giggling.

'I know about you two, Maxie.'

'Well obviously, you saw us kissing. Even a moron like you should be able to draw conclusions.'

I had seen him the day before. He had walked inside the house even though I had ignored him ringing the door bell. Usually he didn't do that kind of stuff. He might be dense but he did have somewhat of a respect for privacy. But that day he didn't. In fact, I didn't mind. I had figured, it would do me a favour that he knew. A big favour that was:

Entertainment!

'Hey, no need to get all offensive. I'm fine with you two being…' he chuckled '… together.'

He was enjoying this way too much, I could tell, and it pissed the hell out of me. Where was _my_ entertainment? Fate seriously took a toll on me that morning.

'Well, it wouldn't matter, because we're not together anymore.' I snapped at him.

'You're not?' he actually seemed disappointed, which was strange. To me it had always appeared he disliked Kai. He'd probably put aside this dislike for something silly as 'respect for my happiness' or some bull like that. Well I hoped that I at least had caused him some sort of moral dilemma the night before.

'I'm really sorry about that Maxie. Is there anything I can do? We could go eat ice-cream together, on my bill. That might cheer you up.'

Then suddenly, I got an idea.

A terrible idea.

A terrible, wonderful idea.

A terrible, wonderful, cruel idea.

'Yes!' I said.

'Yes to ice-cream?' he asked, his voice jittering with excitement.

I giggled. Oh what an innocent mind he had. An innocent mind soon to be corrupted. -By me!

'Yes Tyson, I want to go on a date with you.'

'A date, wait Maxie, you got it all…'

Wrong? Oh yes, I was aware of that, that's why there was no need in me hearing him out. Instead I pressed a smutty, wet kiss onto his lips.

Oh this was the height of entertainment. Oh glory! One of the best ideas I'd had in a long time. Not only would it allow me to corrupt Tyson and make him my bitch, it would also cause a conflict between him and Hiro. Two brothers being involved with the same person, oh that sounded like some corny Hollywood bullshit. But it real life, _that_ might actually be amusing!

There was also another little thought, hiding in one of the blankest corners in the back of my brain. A thought, contemplating how Kai would receive all this.

But I didn't think much of it. I put that ominous little thought back into a cupboard of my mind, where it belonged, and focused on the present.

Kissing Tyson was different to kissing Kai or Hiro. That was mainly due to the fact that those two were actually kinda good at it. Hiro for example, wouldn't stand there like a stiff statue. He would start getting his hands all over me and grope me. And Kai would go for tongue. He was not a very touchy-feely person, hence would keep his limbs to himself, but he would spice up the kiss itself.

Well Tyson, -well he stood there like a complete idiot, with his arms pressed compactly to his body and his eyes still wide open. I had tried to push my tongue through, but he had his lips pressed together tighter than an emo's pants.

I figured that I had still managed to bring across my point so I broke free from him to be able to witness the turmoil and shock I had caused, that was probably going on in his innocent, naïve mind at the moment. It was quite amusing how he kept on pulling faces as he appeared to be thinking of the matter. Hence I decided, I had to add more sap.

'Tyson, you're always so kind to me. I never realised. But now, I think, I might actually -you know- _love_ you.'

…That was some of the biggest bullshit I had spoken in a long, long time, but Tyson's timid nod made it worthwhile.

xxx

Nothing remotely interesting happened for the reminder of the school day, so I'm not even going bother summarizing it for you, my dear reader. Instead I'll jump right to the evening (the evenings are the fun parts of the days anyways). That particular evening, I was sitting in front of the telly, viddying a video. In fact, it was porn, starring our darling companion, Mr Hiro Kinomya. I actually quite enjoyed viddying this one as it actually had somewhat of a plot and Hiro hence had some acting to do. He was an exceptionally bad actor, yours truly! He was a good screwer, but a bad actor.

-It made me wonder if Kai was a good screwer. He wasn't a virgin, that was for sure. I call in a four year old little rat as a witness of that. So yea, it made me wonder.-

In a particularly boring part of the movie, in which the lead girl for no apparent reason or plotting effect started 'experimenting' with her female friend, I decided to experiment a little myself: I held my hand in front of my eyes, not close enough to block my view, however close enough to have it in focus while still being able to see all five digits erect. I held it very still. Isn't it ironic: whenever you try purposely to hold something still, it starts consuming your every thought and becomes very hard to accomplish, I'm sure you know that feeling. It's like the thing with the sore in your mouth, just that this is a more physical reaction.

And oh bliss, I could see my middle finger twitch. Then the index finger. The thumb. Pinkie. Oh what a joy it was to watch, my fingers having small millicent seizures, like criminals being executed in the electric chair, just small scale.

-It was harder to get the ring finger to twitch, probably because it shares a flexor muscle with the middle and pinkie. But I accomplished it, and oh how fun it was to watch! It brought a big, big smile on my face, indeed. There was no big twitch, it was minimal, but I had induced it. So it was better!

'Son, I'm home!'

That was my Dad interrupting me.

He even walked into the living room to check on me.

'What are you watching, son?'

(Oh isn't it annoying, my dear reader, how fathers always appear to have the urge to attach 'son' to the end of every statement. Phoniness of modern age. Induced OCD.)

'Fuckzilla.' I told him.

'What is it about?' he asked, staring at the screen with quite a lost expression on his face.

'It's this fictional bologna about a dinosaur destroying New Amsterdam. There's a reporter bitch who screws a scientist with a radiologically enlarged penis to get inside info to the incident.' I answered with clenched teeth, which made me sound somewhat like The Brain of 'The Pinky and The Brain'. I liked that.

And Dad seemed to finally have realised what kind of movie it was I was watching, all thanks to my through and informative summary (seriously, that's all it was about).

'Maxie, are you watching porn?'

In his shock he must have forgotten to add the 'son'.

'Well what other movie genre would include the word 'fuck' in the title?'

'Wow, uhm, _son_…' Dammit remembered it again. '…I think we should maybe have a little talk, you know, _the_ Talk.'

'Dad, I know all there is to know, I'm not a virgin.'

He appeared somewhat disappointed. Oh how entertaining it was to watch him realize that his innocent, sweet little Maxie was not so innocent at all. In fact, it was so incredibly _entertaining_, I almost let my guard down.

'Uhm, Daddy…' Sweet Max stuttered.

'Yes.' Daddy replied.

'I don't wanna be rude, and I know the storyline isn't exactly complex but I still kinda wanna understand the movie, so do you mind, you know, leaving me to it?'

He started blushing. Mumbled something and then left Sweet Max to it. Unfortunately the peace didn't last long. Shortly after, the door bell rung. Dad had the courtesy to open the door, but it didn't really change much as the visitor was intended for me.

'Max, it's Tyson for you.' Dad yelled from the hallway.

Oh bollocks! It meant for me that I'd have to stop viddying my video. That had been the deal. No telling Ty about Hiro-Porn. It didn't literally mean 'no viddying Ty Hiro-Porn' but I didn't wanna piss Hiro off, cause at a matter of fact, Hiro was very entertaining to me. So I shut off the telly like a good boy and walked to the front door. Ty was awaiting me, holding two ice cream cones. On he pressed in my hand.

'I promised you ice cream. I brought you strawberry, I know you like that one.'

I nodded, to be honest, my favourite one was the pure milk one. The one that's only composed of milk and sugar. It has no artificial or non-matching flavours, because it's only supposed to taste of sugar. And sugar it tastes of. You never get disappointed.

'What were you boys planning on doing?' Dad asked us. I didn't tell him me and Ty were intending on going on a 'date'. It would have been entertaining, but now wasn't the right time. The right time would come, and _then_ it would hit him hard.

Instead I told him we were merely going for a walk (which was probably all it would turn out to be, it was Tyson after all, he wasn't exactly what you could call a 'love machine'). Before he could ask any annoyingly boring or boringly annoying questions, I skipped over the doorstep and smashed the door behind me. Fuck it was cold! Should've grabbed a jacket, but whatever, it was better to bear the cold than my Dad.

'Hi Maxie.' Tyson suddenly said, he was blushing a deep shade of red. The equally sudden, he gave me a tender and slow hug, very unlike the stormy ones he'd usually give me.

Oh yea, the dating thing. Quite entertaining how seriously he took it. I noticed how he'd even attempted to 'dress up' for me, which in Tyson's case literally meant a dress shirt, pine stripe blazer and a tie. Pretty damn silly!

'So ahm, should we go to the park or something?' he suggested.

Although I was pending more towards the 'or something' I decided to play the part of Sweet Max once again, and agreed with the park plan.

Then Tyson started to fiddle with my hand, which was when I realised, he wanted to hold hands so I reached it out to him. He grabbed it quickly and then, contrasting his previous movement softly enclosed it with his fingers.

Hehe, I wished for Kai to pop up at sometime during this evening. Love to see his reaction me and pathetic, little Tyson holding hands, like a kindergarten couple.

We ended up walking alongside for a while, licking our ice cream. Tyson was surprisingly quiet while we strolled around the park. Quite boring actually. And his hand was sweaty.

'Let's sit.' I ordered him.

We sat down on a random piece of black grass (black because it was dark already). Tyson was keeping to himself, not saying a word. Outsiders might have guessed that he was strongly in love with me. But I knew better. I had been neglecting him lately, yes, I was well aware of that. It was because he bored me. And by accepting to be my 'boyfriend' he was able to get closer to me again. Tyson was no victim, he was using me. Abusing –if I were actually love sick, but Kai's separation didn't affect me much, so he was only just using me.

'Fuck, it's cold.'

Okay, bear with me, as I seriously couldn't bear it any longer.

Then, to my surprise, I felt something warm around my shoulders. Tyson had given me his blazer, to keep me warm. Oh what a phoney little suck up he was!

'Tyson do you love me?' I asked him, as innocently as can be.

'Yes.' he stumbled nervously.

Wrong answer!

I kissed him.

I pushed him down on the hard grass and kissed him. My tongue slobbering over his lips in a quite grotesque way. He let it happen. He didn't move. Not at all.

xxx

I had Polynomics the next day. I let myself down on my newly acclaimed seat next to Kai and flashed him my biggest, ugliest grin. He chuckled in return.

'Ya had a fulfilling day mush?' I asked him.

'No.'

'Nup, me neither. But I did have quite fulfilling evening!'

'Really?' he raised an eyebrow in scepticism. So we were back to that business again.

'Oh yes mush, oh yes. Didn't have the good old in-out. But good old fashioned entertainment nonetheless. But no telling to you, mush! Wouldn't want to spill all my secrets to you in one go. Wouldn't want to be a bore from then on. Righty-right!'

Then he gave me an honest and sincere smile. Honesty and sincerity being so rare to witness for a witness of the modern age.

And then, my dear reader, my ring finger twitched.

**xxx**

**. .**

**So this was it, I hope it**** made kinda sense to you. To be brief: Tyson went along with Max because he was afraid of Max distancing himself from him. He saw it as an opportunity to get close to Max again, as a person. Neither of them have any feelings for each other. It's an example of the superficiality of the modern age. **

…**.**

**And the whole finger twitching, it's a metaphor for Kai's and Max' unsteady relationship and their suppressed realisation of feelings for each other.**

**xxx**

**Hope you still enjoyed it, although it was odd. If yes (or no) please leave a comment. Thank you!**


	10. KAI On Decisions

**Kai's POV:**

**XsXsX**

**On Decisions**

**XsXsX**

'So what's it gonna be then, heh?'

I could hear my grandfathers mocking voice echoing in my mind. That was pretty much what he was asking me with this letter. _So what's it gonna be?_

XsXsX

I had received his letter in the mail that morning. It was a formal invitation to a charity event. 3rd World Donations Gala. The guests included all the very ignorant and very important people (although the latter definition is rather questionable in my opinion).Tyrannical, capitalistic CEO's trying to replace their demonic image to increase sales. Ridiculous celebrities, imposing an image of pure goodness by making most generous donations, that in reality were only fractions of their true wealth.

Sounded like most lovable company, didn't it? You're probably asking yourself what that all had to do with me. Well, here's the reasoning behind it: Many of Biovolt's potential clients attend those events. It's like going shopping. The large companies advertise their product and the smaller companies pick the one that fulfils their needs and, most important, makes them the most cost-efficient offer. Biovolt is a luxury company. It is actually one of those 'shopping' for raw materials, but Grandfather prefers to refer to those as clients, even though he is the one buying. The fact that the word 'client' indicates something inferior pleases him. Grandfather likes the feeling of being in demand of an audience by other CEO's. He finds it amusing to watch them striving for a deal, going below their planned rates. He likes to donate multiple thousand Dollars during Charity Events and then set the million dollar rates of his clients with a precision to the value before the third 0. Back before I left, he used to bring me along a few times. Partially to falsify his image to appear as a family man. But mostly for me to learn his ways, so that in a near future, I would be able to imitate these and prove myself useful for his business. Now this letter, that was an invitation to the '3rd World Donations Gala' (note the ignorant expression used to describe the undeveloped countries), it was pretty much an invitation to return back to my old life, -conditions still to be discussed.

_So what's it gonna be then, heh?_

Money and power or this petty, pointless life I had been living for the last couple of years. Of course I would have loved for things to return back to the ways they were, the times were better back then. I may not ever have been extremely happy but on the contrary, I was never extremely sad either. Life was good. Now everything was different. There were a great deal of moments in which I was really enjoying myself, but mostly there were melancholies. The only thing that held me back from immediately calling up my grandfather was the dimension of my own damn pride.

He knew it. He knew everything. He knew of my pride and he knew of my shitty situation (obviously he did, he must have bribed someone of the Russian Emigration Office to find out my address. And his comment 'dress appropriately' together with the parcel containing an 'Armani' Suit he sent me suggested that he had some Private Investigator on me. By the way, the thought of him disagreeing with my dressing sense quite pleased me). So I was kinda discussing my options with myself. It would be nice to get my old life back. It would be nice to stop worrying about money and work. Besides, I know this may sound strange but I did miss my grandfather. Yes he was an arrogant, cocky control-freak but he was also my grandfather. The man who had brought be up. I did hate him for some things he had done, but if a person has been around you for so long and you have shared so many experiences with him, it gets quite difficult, to not love him in a sense. I suppose our relationship is too complex to decide on love or hate. I'm not a mushy person, so I can't really put it into words. It's just, …complex alright.

So you're probably asking yourself why I didn't bluntly decide to go, well there is this one factor that I had mentioned earlier, that cannot be ignored that easily. That one is my pride. And yes I know, it's silly, but somehow I wanted to prove to him that I could manage without him.

I felt I needed some advise in the matter. I decided to discuss it with Hiro at school. I was hoping to do it first thing in the morning before the teacher entered the class, however Hiro spent the entire time describing to me exactly how horny he was and how much he'd like to fuck Max at that moment. We had a double lesson of English and the masochistic teacher decided to not give us a break in between. So no chance of a talk there. I planned to discuss the matter with him on the way to our next class, however the teacher held me back.

'Kai, I would like to have a talk with you.'

I couldn't really say no then, could I!

'Okay.'

'I'll wait for you outside.' Hiro told me.

But the teacher had other plans: 'No, you go to class, this will take a while.' Something about the teachers voice was quite ominous.

Hiro gave me an apologetic look, mumbled a 'good luck' and then walked out. The teacher waited for a while until his footsteps were only a distant 'thud' sound in the background and then finally she informed me of the odd reason for this conversation.

'I wanted to talk about Hiro. It appears you're being quite a bad influence.'

I felt a strong urge top defend myself. 'Excuse me but how exactly am I being a bad influence? Before him and I started to befriend each other people kept on bullying and teasing him. At least now they leave him alone.'

'He doesn't need some Ghetto kid to protect him. Violence is not an option. You're teaching him the wrong values of society.'

I know this may sound strange, but her prejudiced wording actually kinda hurt me. It was weird, I wasn't the kind of person whom this would normally affect very deeply. Normally I would just brush it off and ignore it, but that day I realised that things had changed about me. I was no longer indifferent. I was concerned about what others thought of me.

'Believe it or not, I never became violent!' I informed her. My voice had somewhat of a bitter and sad tone.

'Really? And I'm supposed to believe that?'

This conversation really pissed me off, but mostly it upset me. 'No, I never did, I am not a violent person. And for your information, I'm not 'some Ghetto kid' either.'

'Okay, let me re-phrase. A boy from questionable circumstances encouraging a promising and inspirational student to engage in very out-of-character behaviour. You see Kai, it is your own choice what you do with your life. And it is Hiro's choice what to do with his, however he is such a friendly and hard working boy, I would hate to see it all go to waste. He deserves to go to a good University, get a well paid job and marry a nice girl one day.'

'He's happy now!' I interrupted her. 'He never really was before.'

It was the truth. Before I had gotten to know Hiro well, he had always appeared somewhat lonely. I knew that feeling too well. Maybe that was the reason I had started talking to him? Oh I don't even know. I only know that it had kinda happened.

I didn't wait for the teacher to come up with a response. I just left. This discussion was silly anyways. What did she know about me? Nothing but the image that I had built up for the fun of it. I couldn't blame people for thinking of me as a no-good punk. I had brought this upon myself with the intent of mocking society and the people around me (also, I had somehow felt committed to do so. It was weird, but I had felt as if it would be such a waste not to live out my newfound freedom). It was only now, that I started regretting to have built up this reputation. I had somehow started to feel hurt by the way people judged me. I actually didn't even look too rebellious that day. I still had dyed blue hair and baggy jeans, but I was wearing my black button down shirt (that I had actually found a great liking too, recently. Those kind of shirts used to be my favourite attire when living with my Grandfather). Also, my face markings weren't in place. It is kinda strange, like aren't you supposed to mature to not caring what people think of you? With me it's the opposite I guess I'm just odd. Like the teacher said, I came from 'questionable circumstances'. She was correct on that one. Actually, I felt should be happy for Hiro to have a teacher that cared so much about him as a person. I'm not really close to any of my teachers, and well, it is my own fault for purposely deceiving them. In fact, I came to realize, that not caring what others think of you is quite impractical and somewhat selfish.

XsXsX

At the end of the Maths lesson, Hiro passed me a note that I was supposed to give to Max. I could already guess what it said, probably something along the lines of him being horny and wanting to meet up with the boy. I handed it to Max during our Politics and Economics class. He read it and started giggling -loud enough for the teacher to notice.

'Matthew Tate, what is it that you're holding there in your hands?'

'A note that Kai passed me, sir.'

Oh good on you Max! Telling him it came from me, so now I would get in trouble too, that was just great. To all extent, the teacher grabbed the note and decided to read it out loud, to the entire class, that is:

'_I want to fuck you. Meet me in the detention room during lunch_.'

In that moment, my jaw literally dropped. Damn, Hiro sure was straight forward about this kind of stuff. Would it really have been that hard to formulate it in a less …_direct_ way? The whole class was staring at me in shock. Well I wasn't any less shocked than they were. Only Tyson was smiling at me in an encouraging manner. Damn, he still believed I was in some sort of romantic relationship with Max. Talking about Max, that boy trying to keep a straight face but I could tell he was suppressing a cheeky grin. Sly Bastard!

'I didn't write that note, I was merely told to pass it to Max.' I claimed in my defence. I was still quite embarrassed about the whole situation. This new caring-thing didn't become me well at all.

'So who _did_ write that note if not you?' the teacher mockingly asked.

'Yes I would like to know that too.' Max said in his most innocent voice.

'You own it up to Maxie to tell him who is sexually harassing him.' a random girl agreed.

Strangely enough, I had to suppress the urge to blush. I was feeling uncommonly ashamed about the entire ordeal. However I decided to act all tough and stereotypical.

'Listen kid, I don't care about your sexual affaires and I don't want anything to do with them, so tell your fuck-buddy that I wont be passing on any more notes.'

I kept my voice monotone and indifferent, trying to leak out as little emotion as possible.

'Kai, I wont be tolerating this kind of language in my class.'

'Tell him sir! He has no right to talk to poor Maxie like that.'

'Yea, who knows if it wasn't him who wanted to get into Maxie's pants.'

'You are scum, Kai, filthy scum!'

Okay this was getting enough! The part of myself who had started caring about what people thought of me had caused me to get oddly upset. I stood up and shoved my books and pens into my bag.'

'What do you think you're doing?' the teacher yelled.

'I'm leaving. I'm sick off listening to this immature bullshit. You should be thankful, maybe when I'm gone the talking will stop and you'll finally be able to continue your teaching.' I hissed.

The teacher gave me a perplex look and then uttered: 'You can't just skip class.'

I shrugged. 'If you're lucky you wont be seeing me at all from a couple of days onward.'

'What's that supposed to mean?' he stuttered in return.

I walked up to the door, looked back inside and announced: 'I'm contemplating if I should go back to Russia, at the moment, I'm strongly pending towards it.'

Then I walked outside. So now it was official, I would go to the Charity Gala.

I closed the door behind me and sighed. I wasn't even done sighing as the door burst back open and Max threw himself at me.

'You're a coward!'

He pushed me against the wall. 'A damn coward, do you understand me'

'Of course I do I'm not mentally retarded. Now, why do you care so much anyways?'

His body twitched, and he paused for a second before he came up with a reply which he submitted by yelling in my face: 'Because for some pathetic reason I've started to enjoy your lame-ass company, that's why!'

I pushed him off me. 'Well for your information Max, I don't exist merely for _your_ entertainment.'

A bunch of people were starting to rush out of the 'Politics and Economics' classroom, gathering around us. Soon we were surrounded by a bunch of people repeating 'Fight! Fight! Fight!' over and over again.

'This is getting to stupid for me.' I muttered.

Max smirked, then he suddenly threw his arms around me and hugged me. 'I'm sorry, Kai. I didn't mean to freak out. I was just upset that you wanted to leave. Can you forgive me?'

I couldn't help but grin. This kid really possessed the ability to alter my mood on the spot. I now was curiously amused. So Maxie wanted to piss off the people around us. He gave them the opposite of what they wanted. He sure was a strange one. I had to confess, I would indeed miss him in a sense. Being around him was so different, he wasn't like any other person I'd ever met before.

'So what's the deal, why are you leaving?' he whispered with a voice, so faint, only I could hear him.

'My Grandfather offered me a truce if I attend this Charity Gala with him. It's in a few days time.' I whispered back.

'What, you're just going to give in like that? You're managing alright so far, so go to the Gala and tell your Grandfather face to face that you don't need his fucking money!'

One amazing thing about Max was his ability of keeping his voice low while he said something as revolting as that. Another amazing thing about him was that he did have a point. I was indeed managing alright. I had a job for now, that might be a bit sleazy but paid well, also I had plans for the future, which weren't all that bad either. And I was surrounded by some quite interesting people. My life wasn't perfect, but neither had the life with my Grandfather been. My life was going alright. That was the way to express it. It was doing alright!

Max let go of me and then went on staring at me for a while. His hand suddenly twitched and he turned around to walk back into the classroom. I sighed, deciding that I had spent enough time playing drama queen and followed him inside. Behind me, my classmates were expressing great astonishment. Well I couldn't blame them. I was a bit confused myself.

XsXsX

After Politics and Economics there was lunch. I watched how Max walked off in the direction of the detention room to meet up with Hiro. I certainly didn't feel like sitting down in the cafeteria so I went onto the court outside, sat down on a bench and got started on some homework.

'Can we sit with you?' strangely, that was Tyson's voice. I looked up to see him and that Chinese guy standing in front of me, holding their homemade lunch packages. The Chinese guy looked kinda pissed. It was obvious he didn't share Tyson's enthusiasm about 'sitting with me'.

'Sure, if your friend doesn't mind.'

The guy blushed and then sat down on the bench next to Tyson. 'You and Max appear to be pretty close.' he said in an accusing tone.

'I suppose we are in a way.'

Tyson was smirking. Oh get your mind out of the gutter, boy!

The Chinese guy continued his interrogation. 'How did you guys get close in the first place?'

'Oh come on Rei, give him a break.' Tyson interrupted him. Then he turned to me with a more serious look on his face. 'Say do you still have feelings for him? Cause I think Maxie really likes you.'

Arrgh! Tyson was so damn stupid. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone about that. Well he didn't exactly tell anyone about it, but because of him, that Rei guy found out about it:

'Wait, what is going on here? Tyson?'

'Oh sorry, I forgot you didn't know, Kai and Maxie were dating for a while.'

In that moment, I literally face palmed myself.

'WHAT? Are you serious, him and Maxie?' that was Rei yelling at Tyson. Then he turned to me. 'What did you do to him? Did you…'

He left that sentence uncompleted.

'No we didn't. And whatever went on between me and Max is none of your business. It's over.'

Damn, I _really_ regretted letting Tyson sit down next to me. A look at his face told me he had planned this. Sly planning, once again! I think Max was rubbing off on him. I ignored Rei's pouting and focused my attention on Tyson. 'What do you want from me?'

He smirked. 'I want you to get back together with Maxie. Otherwise, the entire school will find out.'

'Are you crazy? Tyson, how could you want Maxie to be with that guy. He's wild.' that was Rei expressing his usual protest.

'Tyson, you didn't think this blackmailing plan through. If you go on with your plan of revealing what had been going on between Max and me, you will hurt his reputation more than my own.'

And most importantly, it would hurt one other person who was dear to both myself and Tyson. I hadn't confessed to Hiro yet. I felt there was no point in me confessing. You might say that wasn't fair towards him, but think about it. If I were to confess it would only upset him. He would be happier living in oblivion.

Tyson seemed to have realised the vital flaw in his plan. He sighed and then begged me:

'Don't leave the country, okay. I think Maxie and my brother would be very hurt if you would.'

I hadn't thought of that before. So far I had only considered the consequences it would have on myself but I hadn't thought of others. Most of the people wouldn't really care. But those two would for sure, no matter how tough Maxie was acting. Or how bad of an influence I was being on Hiro according to my Literature teacher. I started to wonder if Anya had made any close friends too. I know it is easier for young children to adapt to new environments, but she had already been through so many drastic changes of scenery. First she was with her mother, then, as her mother died, she had moved into a motel with me. Me who had been a complete stranger to her, at first, and then she had gone to a different country where they spoke a totally different language. Maybe it would be too much for a little girl to handle.

XsXsX

The day of the Gala had come. And I had decided I would attend it. I hade made Tyson and Rei swear to not mention a single word about the potential plan of me leaving to Hiro. I hadn't told him about the Gala either. I didn't want him too worry, and I knew he was the type to do so. Max ended up spending a night at my place the day before. He had come on to me on multiple occasions, trying to prevent me from going. I had set my mind on attending the Gala, but I hadn't yet decided if I should leave with my Grandfather or not.

Right before leaving I spent some time standing in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at my reflection. It was strange, seeing myself in a suit again. I somehow had the feeling that I didn't quite resemble my 2 years younger self that much anymore. I had even dyed my hair. It was back to being plain black. Seeing myself with black hair gave me quite a nostalgic feeling. It had been a long time. However my hair was longer now than it had been back then, and not so neatly cut either. I had brushed it, and even borrowed some hairspray from the neighbour for it to stay in place, but I did no longer look that much like the proper little rich kid I used to be. I didn't feel like it either. Somehow I felt really uneasy in that penguin suit. I went back to my room and looked inside my closet. I quickly found what I was searching for. My black button down shirt. I stripped off my white Armani shirt and replaced it with my black one. Then I put the suit jacket back on and returned to the bathroom to continue eyeing myself in the mirror. This was much better!

'You look nice.' that was my little girl's voice. I was wondering if she had ever seen me in a suit before. Most likely not. I smiled down at her and she smiled back. I remember how she didn't like me much at all when we first met. Those first few weeks had been tough. She had cried for her Mother and I didn't yet know how to comfort her properly. I suddenly realised how she had actually gotten quite attached to me over the years. Never would I have expected that. Children sure were forgiving. I wish adults were more like that.

I kneed down to talk to her. 'So you know the plan, you will stay with Miss Iota for the night, since I will most likely get back quite late. So be polite, always say _please_ and _thank_ _you_.' She nodded, she knew the routine.

XsXsX

An hour later I was standing a few meters away from the impressive entrance stairs of the Baltimore Opera Building. I had taken the bus there (which earned myself a few estranged looks from others, not often that you see a man in an Armani suit riding a public bus), it was quite a walk from the bus station, I had been lucky I wasn't mobbed on the way. But now I was standing at the stairs and not quite ready to go up. I was being silly, I knew that, but I couldn't help it. Finally I convinced myself and walked up to the entrance door.

'Could I have your name, sir?' A lady in a fancy uniform asked me.

'Nikolaj Hiwatari.' I told her. I had even brought my ID, in case she wouldn't believe me. Back in the old days, I always used to be accompanied by my Grandfather, nobody would ever dare to say anything. And even this time, my last name did me a favour.

'You are seated on table 4, sir, please enjoy the evening.'

I nodded at her and walked inside.

It was quite a stunning sight. I had completely forgotten what these Charity parties were like. There was a red carped, spread out for the Celebrities that wanted to show off themselves, so I didn't bother. I planned to look for my table instead. Unfortunately I found it way quicker than I had hoped. And to top it off, my Grandfather was already seated. I froze as soon as I spotted him. For almost a minute I just stared at him. He didn't look any different at all. He might have been more tanned, but apart from that, he looked exactly like I remembered him. Some mixed emotions shot through my body. I was happy, oh so happy to see him again, and then there was fear, worry. Surprisingly there was no anger, not at all.

Grandfather's eyes scanned the surroundings (he had always been a very cautious man, wanting to know exactly what was going on around him) and then randomly his eyes met mine. We held eye contact for a while. Chills were running down my spine. I couldn't hold it for much longer, I sunk my head, focused my eyes away from him and then slowly walked to my table and sat down beside him. I could feel the awkward atmosphere between us. I didn't quite know what to say to him, and neither did he, so it appeared. Finally, he broke the silence.

'I honestly did not expect you to come Nikolaj.' he said in a bitter voice.

'Well, you must've had enough confidence in me to send out an invitation and reserve a seat at this table.' I hissed.

He started laughing. 'Feisty as always, aren't you, Kai?'

I felt him place a hand on my shoulder an somehow that helped relaxing the atmosphere between us, which resulted in me grinning (yes, grinning).

'I must say, you have grown into a handsome young man Kai.'

'Oh cut the crap. Why does everyone always make such a comment when they haven't seen me in a while. You should know by now that this superficial verbiage doesn't have any effect on me. ' I countered. I don't know how I got the sudden courage to say such a thing to my grandfather, I used to be very reserved around him. Hardly ever daring to criticise his actions. What astonished me was that he didn't at all seem angry about it, instead he just continued to smile at me.

'I like that attitude of your's. I could use someone like you for Biovolt. I believe you would do good work as my personal assistant.'

'I would be honoured.' I replied. I sincerely would.

'So is that a _yes_?'

Grandfather had a content expression on his lips. I could tell he had been hoping for this turn of event. I gave him an honest and sweet smile before I formulated my response.

'No, it isn't.'

He was a bit staggered. But he hid it well.

'So you have decided to live your life for yourself?'

'Not to live it for myself, necessarily, but I worked hard to build it up on my own. It would be a waste. Also I am way to curious to see how it will go on, how things will play out.'

He started laughing. It wasn't a malicious laugh, it was a happy laugh. He was happy for me.

'I shouldn't have expected it any other way. You are not the type to live in anyone's shadow. Your parents weren't like you at all, they were better off having someone to tell them what to do. But you are indeed more like me. So tell me, what exactly is your plan?'

I told him. He listened well and he criticised me in the points I had expected him to criticise me. Of course he would have preferred for me to go to a proper University and not just a Community College. Of course he had hoped for my plans to be a bit greater and less subtle. But in the end he respected my decisions. He did offer me unlimited access to his bank account, which I accepted, however didn't plan to use at any point. In the end we were both re-assured that we had our differences, but said our Farwells in peace. There was no longer a war atmosphere between us, and that was good. In some ways I did regret, not accepting the position of the assistant manager. I'm sure I would have enjoyed that life. But like I had told my Grandfather: I was too curious to find out where I was heading. Living with my Grandfather, my life used to have a lot of structure, but without structure, I came to realize, my life was more exciting. I had to confess, I would miss some people, mostly Max and Hiro, but also some of the teacher and random students, even though we had our differences. Everyone had their own, exquisite tics. The thing about a public school is that hardly anyone suppresses it, not like at home, where I had been home schooled by teachers whose intention it was to get their job done and then leave, without exposing any of their personality. Same with the servants and the people working for my grandfather. It was all about the outwards appearance, and they had been trained in it. It was useful to be able to manipulate this appearance, but it was a lot more refreshing if not.

But most importantly I decided to stay, because I was doing alright…

XsXsX

I arrived at my apartment late. It was about 2 in the morning. A person was sitting at my doorstep. The knees angled, arms slung around them, wearing nothing but his boxers and a white Armani shirt.

'Hello there Maxie, what a surprise seeing _outside_ of my apartment for a change.' I mocked him, referring to the time he had broken in and waited in my room for me.

Maxie yawned and rubbed his eyes. He looked strangely cute like that.

'Well I got kinda bored of it.' he said jokingly.

I let myself down next to him. 'That shirt doesn't suite you, you look way too innocent in white.'

He giggled and stuck out his tongue. Then he patted my head. 'And your hair is curly!'

'No it's not, wavy maybe, but certainly not curly!' I protested.

'Hmm, you're right, it's wavy. You look very different when you don't do your hair-gel flippy thing. Are you going to keep it like this or dye it back to blue.'

'Nuh, I think it will stay like this, I've gotten over my rebellious phase, so there's no need.' It was the truth. Now that I had resolved the issue with my Grandfather.

Maxie continued giggling. 'You're not leaving after all, I knew it.'

'No I'm not.'

'The Gala was broadcast on TV, and they showed pictures on the news. You were in a few. So things are going to be different tomorrow at school.'

'Yes, they will be.'

'Things are going to be a lot of fun tomorrow at school.'

Oh Maxie that egocentric maniac!

'Yes, I'm sure they will be fun for you, Max.'

He snuggled his body closer to mine and put his arm around my waist.

'Will you stay with me like this for the night, until tomorrow morning?'

I looked down at him, he had rested his head on my shoulders and was staring at me with his big, blue eyes.

'Yes, Max, I will.'

**XsXsX**

**So this is it, hope you enjoyed it, even though it was more Kai's thoughts rather than anything productive actually happening in the story. But I felt this chapter was necessary. So from now on Kai will be less rigid. You survived this Hamlet-like chapter and you can look forward to a less rigid Kai, yay!**

**Anyways, please review if you liked it (or not), it would make me very happy!**


	11. MAX Switch the light on, please!

**Hello, it's me again. This chapter is probably the most important chapter so far (apart from the first one). From this chapter onwards things are going to change A LOT. Fact is, this chapter is poorly written and I'm really sorry about that, somehow it didn't turn out that well. **

**xxx**

_This was the day. The day of all days, a day as wicked and sick as can say._

Okay, not really. But I liked that rhyme, I made it up myself, ay! I like rhymes, don't you like rhymes? I really like rhymes. Especially when I don't quite get what they mean. Yea, I like those ones the most. Same with movies. The stranger the better, if I have any idea what just happened, shame on it, I don't like that film. Talking about films, Kai had agreed to go to the movies with me again. Right after school even, he'd promised it. He had discovered this foreign film theatre the other day. He told me he was quite keen on trying it out. Foreign movie theatres are the best. First of all, it has to be good to a certain level to be released internationally, secondly they're not for the general audience, since the general audience is not generally that keen on watching subtitle films. So what that means is, they're different to all the Hollywood bullshit. Very different. They're movies you _actually_ need your brain on (don't tell me that in 'Shutter Island', you didn't see that ending coming!).

But before that could happen, I had to struggle through another day of school. Struggling because I hadn't done any of the homework and the teacher surely would be pissy about that.

'Rise and shine, asshole.' Kai greeted me in the morning. I opened my eyes to see that we were still in the hallway, but we weren't sitting anymore. We were stretched out on the carpet. Lying on our sides, facing each other. In fact, Kai's face was so close to mine, I could feel his breath touching my cheeks. I reached out my hand in quite an effort to touch his hair. It felt surprisingly smooth and soft. The typical right-after-you dyed-it kind of smooth. It's funny how nowadays hair feels nicer after you exposed it to a whole punch of chemicals. He should dye his hair more often…

I think Kai quite enjoyed this closeness, even though he was the one to have practically 'broken up' with me. He closed his eyes and his breathing got flat. I moved my hand further down, along his jaw line. He opened his eyes again. They were so clear and still I couldn't read his emotions out of them.

'Have you ever been to Lithuania?' I asked him.

'Lithuania?'

'I want to move there. I want to spend the rest of my life in Lithuania.'

He smiled. 'Well, what is there to expect from you Maxie, I can't see you spending the rest of your life in this boring old town.'

I looked at him, tried to read him. I couldn't.

'So you're moving back to Prussia, now that you and your Grandfather are back on speaking terms.'

Kai appeared deep in thought 'Hmm. Not yet. I'll stay for Graduation, maybe a bit longer. Why so complicated Maxie?'

I had to laugh at that. Kai knew too well that the little fraction of Russia he cared for so dearly shared a boarder with Lithuania. He had realised that I somehow cared for him. But I wasn't desperate enough to travel after him, to his country. No, Maxie doesn't do that. Maxie always wanted to go to Europe, seriously, he just never knew what country to pick. Maxie used to consider Germany, or France, maybe even the Czech Republic. But now I had made my decision. Lithuania it was. Why? I liked the sound of it. The fact that Kai would be close by was a bonus, nothing else.

'Why not? It makes it more exciting. Besides, I heard that East Prussia is so depressing, even Russians don't wanna go there.'

He boxed me. 'Heh, that's the place I grew up at that you're insulting here.'

I tousled his hair. Tangled it.

'Russia is so mainstream. Everyone knows it, everyone knows where it's located. But how many people can claim to have earned themselves a Lithuanian passport?'

'So you're actually serious about this?'

'Yea, I'll move there at the end of the school year. I'll probably do a language course for a year or so, then I'll continue school if I feel like it.'

'When did you make that decision.'

I smirked. 'Just now, popped into my mind.'

He sat up and scratched his head. He pretty much looked like a lost puppy that moment. 'So it's final.'

I pulled myself up as well and kneed in front of him. 'Yes, it is!'

Then I placed a faint kiss on his lips to seal the deal.

_xxx_

Me and Kai both had Polynomics first thing in the morning, so we agreed to meet up at school (I had to go home to get changed first. I suppressed the urge to dress like a cheap prostitute, aka, come to school naked. It would have been too sweet… instead I wore jeans, a plaid shirt and my Dad's brown leather jacket. I looked just like MacGyver, which was tremendously awesome!). I was in the process of eyeing myself in the mirror when my Dad walked into the room. He looked quite upset, his forehead being more wrinkled than normal.

'Max!' His voice was drowned in a mix of relief and anger.

I just laughed.

'Son, this isn't funny, where were you all night, I was worried.'

I shrugged. 'Away.'

Then I hopped past him, skipped down the stairs and went off to school. _Away_.

_xxx_

'Morning Maxie. What's up with the Zac Efron get-up?'

That was Tyson. The moron.

'Can't you see that this is supposed to be MacGyver, not Zac Efron?' I hissed.

'It actually looks more like Zac Efron to me.' Rei added.

No bloody way! Since when had it come into fashion to dress like a woodchuck? My two mushies we're acting stupid once again. Oh poor, poor me, why does it always happen to me that I make the mistake to take them for reasonable human beings?

Then Kai came walking through the door. Perfect, he was a reasonable human being.

'Ay, Kai, tell me, does this outfit make me look more like Zac Efron or MacGyver?'

He crossed his arms. 'What's it supposed to look like?'

'Zac Efron.' I lied. I was tricking him, I knew he would automatically say the opposite.

'Well in that case you're lucky, cause it looks like Zac Efron.' he told me.

WHAT?

Kai gave me a cocky grin, flashing his teeth. 'I can read you Maxie, I know what you were hoping for. Don't worry, it's MacGyver, alright.'

Smartass!

Suddenly a group of girls came running up to me and Kai, strangely they seemed to be more interested in Kai though.

'Whoa Kai, did you dye your hair?'

What a stupid question. He had, _obviously_.

'Ahm, yes, I did.'

Kai didn't really seem all that comfortable with so much attention focused on him. In my opinion, he should have been grateful for it, since, let's face it, he's really not that interesting.

'Uii, why did you dye your hair?'

'I had some formal event to attend to and I felt it would be appropriate.'

It was strange, how he was quite uncomfortable talking. He didn't originally strike me as the shy type of guy, but now that I had discovered this flaw, there was surely a way I could take advantage of it. But first of all I had to drag him away from the girls, I didn't like the attention he was receiving from them. I grabbed his hand and try to pull him along, strangely, he didn't move. I turned my head back at him. He was grinning.

'Oh Maxie, why so possessive.' this random girl remarked.

'Excuse me!' not like she had any right to mock me. And why on EARTH was Kai so popular with them all of the sudden. Maybe it was because he didn't quite look like he was going to 'kill' them anymore. So now they were no longer that scared of him. He wasn't that intimidating -so they were interested. What superficial bitches. Worst of all they started laughing at me.

So I did the most logical thing, I started laughing myself. Not because of the old and helpful 'they don't laugh at you, you laugh with them'-rule. No. Not at all.

'Guess what Megan.' I said to one of the girls. 'You're a superficial, dumb hoe and your life is going to be eventless and shit.'

They all got quiet.

Then the tremble started.

'You're an asshole Max.'

'You arrogant Bastard.'

'That was mean.'

'I always thought you were a nice guy, but _no_, you're a dick.'

It was amusing really, how they were getting off at me.

Anyways back to what actually matters: Kai closed in on me, he stood close enough for me to feel his breath again. I quite savoured this feeling. Yes, he was intimidating, that hadn't changed, not in my view at least. I was so occupied with absorbing his scent and savvy that I almost missed the words he whispered:

'I think you overreacted a bit.'

I broke free from my stream of though and smirked. 'Nah, this is too much fun.'

The girls were still whining, but me and Kai ignored them as we went on with our little conversation. Well, Kai glanced over at them occasionally, -I ignored them.

'You know Maxie, this kinda feels like you're being jealous.'

I squeezed his hand. 'So.'

He shrugged. 'Not that I mind.'

I patted the back of his head with my free hand. 'Oh I know what's in your mind, alright.'

He cracked a bitter-sweet smile. 'No Maxie, you don't.'

And dammit, Kai was right about that…

_xxx_

Moments later the teacher walked in. His eyes scanned the class room like predatory hawk. Seems he found his prey.

'You.' he pointed at Kai. 'Stay with me we need to have a talk. The other's, you're free to go.'

A wave of cheers went through the class. The only one not to share the excitement was Kai himself, who sent me a look of despair. 'Don't leave me here alone Max.'

(Okay, he didn't literally say that, in fact he didn't speak at all, but I stuck my tongue out at him anyways)

'I wonder what's up with that.' Rei mumbled as we walked out of the room

'Oh I _know_.' I announced.

'Awesome, tell us.' Tyson squeaked. He got excited over pointless things way to easily. But I had to disappoint him. I shook my head. No, I didn't want to tell them. I didn't quite understand why not. It would have been great entertainment, for sure, but somehow I felt that if people would find out that Kai was actually part of the Hiwatari family, everyone would just get much more interested in him. I sighed. I didn't want that to happen. For some strange reason I was exaggeratedly proud of the relationship I had with him. I had felt so proud over how unique it was, how strange indeed, -how he didn't share that relationship with anyone but me. Suddenly I felt anxious. What if? It would come out eventually. Damn! Things wouldn't be the same anymore. Damn, damn, damn!

I leaned my back against the wall. This was bad! Bad, bad, bad! I started sliding down, until my bum touched the floor. Somewhere faint I could here voices, but I didn't pay attention to them. This situation in my mind… it possessed me. It took over my body and blocked out everything.

Suddenly, I felt someone shaking me.

'Maxie, Maxie, are you alright?'

I had slurped back into reality.

I stared. Straight into Kai's eyes. For a moment, neither of us said anything. We simply stared at each other.

'Weren't you in the classroom talking to the wanker?' I heard myself ask.

'The 'wanker' is standing right behind me.' Kai whispered in an awkward tone.

I looked up. Indeed, he stood there. And so did a group of other people. All standing around, like hawks looking down at their prey.

'Entertainment.' I mumbled. 'I'm their entertainment.'

_So how does it feel to be on the receiving end_, a voice in my head mocked me.

'I heard Tyson yell your name. So I ran outside. I think you gave him quite a fright.' Kai informed me.

I pulled a face.

'He's a pussy anyways.'

Then I realised that I was a pussy myself. Surely. I had been too much of a pussy, that's why I had collapsed. My mind was probably pissed at me for being a pussy.

'Kai's rich!' I yelled out.

Everyone gave me estranged looks.

'Yes, you heard me alright. he's bloody rich. Oh and powerful as well. Remember when we were talking about Nikolaj Hiwatari? Well surprise, surprise, that's him! Now you know. Do whatever you want with that information.'

A murmur started going through the crowd. Perfect. And Kai, well, he stared at me. He was in shock, so I suppose. Didn't expect me of all the people to leak that information. Once again, I pulled a face. I got an idea! A wonderful idea.

'Oh and I shagged him.' everyone's attention was back on me. 'Yea, I shagged him last night.'

That earned me a slap from Kai. 'No you didn't! Get your mind out of the gutter, Max.'

He wasn't upset about it, though. In fact, he started giggling. And I smiled widely. Exposing all my teeth. Was it creepy, probably yes, but I hadn't felt this jolly in a while.

'Isn't this fun? Kai, isn't this fun?'

_xxx_

I had Maths afterwards, I was walking there with Tyson and Rei. They were both acting quite awkward around me. It was irritating, really. I tried to make eye contact with them, but they just kept looking away in an inept manner. This was starting to get on my nerves so I abruptly froze my walk.

'What?'

Tyson and Rei were exchanging gawky looks and then focused their attention back onto me.

'You've been acting strange lately.' Rei stated. Tyson nodded in agreement.

I crossed my arms and put on a merry good voice. 'Well, well, well, what have we here, my friends abandoning in me, great friends you are, am I right, ay?'

Tyson went on looking quite pathetic. 'No, nothing like that. We're worried.'

Rei on the contrary got all _nag, nag, nag_: 'You have been acting strange lately. We've been starting to wonder if there's any drugs involved. Lately you've been covering up your left arm. Hiding the evidence of _Crack_ maybe.'

I laughed at that accusation. Laughed right in Rei's face.

Tyson got really worried all of the sudden. I could tell he was feeling uncomfortable. Rei however continued being prissy.

'Max, your arm. Show me!'

I held my arm out straight in his direction. I found that _he_ could do the effort of pulling up the sleeve of my jacket himself.

Rei closed his fingers around my wrist. Then slowly he moved the fabric upwards, I could feel his touch. -It felt funny.

The entire time my attention was focused on his face. There was grim when he'd first touched my wrist and a thoughtful expression while he was pulling up the sleeve. Then suddenly it grimaced, and I heard him gasp. Tyson was peeking over his shoulder, down at my arm. He sqeemed in shock and a hand flew to his mouth. I could see his eyes watering.

Then I started laughing. My laugh was loud and ugly, and oh I enjoyed it so much. Rei flinched and Tyson started whimpering. I looked down at my arm myself now. The letters had fainted, but one could still clearly read them. Oh what a beautiful white scar.

'This is FUN, isn't it?' I mockingly asked.

Tyson sunk down in a corner and combed his hands through his hair, didn't seem like it was too _fun_ to him. I didn't appear that Rei had that much _fun_ either. 'You have gone completely mad.' he stated.

I shrugged. 'It happens.'

Tyson got back on his feet and ran up to me. Then he hugged me. 'Please see a psychiatrist, I'm begging you Maxie. Please!'

His pathetic, ugly face actually managed to have an effect on me. Somehow I felt softened, weak. I hugged him back. It was strange. And what was even stranger, I went on comforting him. 'It's okay, Ty. Don't you worry about me. I'll be fine.'

'No you won't.' Rei decided. 'I'm taking you to the school nurse. Right now. And I'll make sure she'll call your parents.'

And Rei did that.

My Dad arrived shortly after. He pushed me into the car and drove me home. During the entire ride home, he didn't say a word. Once we got there, he downed a couple of glasses of liquor. Then he dropped down on the living room couch and stared at me for a while…

_xxx_

'Are you feeling depressed, Matthew.'

I shook my head. 'No, not anymore.'

'So you did feel depressed at some point.'

Mom had been asking me that same question over and over again for a while now. But that didn't bother me. Actually, I quite enjoyed this psychiatric examination. I felt they were taking me seriously. They showed respect. No more pretence.

'Yes, before I realized I was mad.'

Mom nodded and scribbled something on a clip board. She even used a clip board, how cool was that!

'Okay, please describe what you felt during your depression period.'

'Anger, melancholy.' I giggled and then went on, as if I were telling her a bedtime story. 'I felt like there were two of me, one was the always happy fake Max, the other was the cynical, sarcastic, crazy Max. But the crazy Max was hidden, and couldn't come out. But he was the real me, and the real me hated the happy me, the happy me was pathetic and oblivious, but somehow, I was jealous at him too, yea, that's what I thought.'

Mom nodded again.

'So tell me, what triggered the crazy you to come out.'

I repeated my story, I had told her twice already. 'The night when I was arrested for driving without a licence I met a woman in the cell. She was mad, she told me I was too.'

My Dad, was standing in the corner, bowing his head in shame, I figured he blamed himself for having gone to bed early that night, since otherwise he would have come pick me up from the police station. He was probably going mental himself right then, pondering over the question of all questions, _what if?…_

'Please describe to me: how did you feel about that woman, what did you think of her.'

That was a new one. Mom hadn't asked that question before.

'She was free.'

'Free?'

'Careless. No worries. Able to speak her mind without having to dwell on the consequences.'

Mom nodded (guess it's a psychiatrist habit). Then he waved for my father to come over. She exchanged a couple of words with him, -whispering, so that I couldn't hear. I saw my Dad smiling as Mom turned her head back to me.

'I figured out what's wrong with you Max.'

I jerked an eyebrow. This was getting interesting.

Then she gave me the worst possible diagnosis:

'You're not mad Max, you just desperately want to be.'

_xxx_

_This was the day. The day of all days, a day as wicked and sick as can say._

**xxx**

**I just realized, there's a film called 'Mad Max', lol Anyways, I hope the ending didn't upset you too much. See ya next chapter (I already know what to write in it, so hopefully I'll update faster this time).**


	12. KAI Damn Change

**Hello people! It's Kai's turn again. This chapter pretty much starts up at the same point that the last one started at. Just that it is in Kai's POV and hence: absolutely pointless but I felt it was necessary. Sorry, it's really short, I kinda struggled with this one.**

**Thanks to my reviewers:**

**vd. alfredo:**** Danke für die superlange Review meine Liebe! :) Hat mich ehrlich voll glücklich gemacht! Uhrwerk Orange? Och nö… überhaupt nicht, wie kommst du denn daruaf…? XD lol, du hast mich erwischt, ich bin mir nicht mehr sicher, aber ich glaub es kommt wirklich darin vor. Mein Maxie is sowieso voll der Alex fake. haha**

**annoying talking animal: ****Sorry about that development, I had been so tempted to write for a long while now. Glad at least your internal literary critic still enjoys it :D ! And oh you must hate me so much, I do cliffies AND take ages to update, lol. But thank you so much for standing through it and for your ever loyal reviews! I love you! *hugs***

**xxx – xxx - xxx**

Do you know the feeling when you're lying in bed and realize that in this very moment, everything in your life seems near perfect? Well I hate this feeling! Why? Because it means that from then on, all that can happen is that things get worse. So as I was kneeing in the hallway, trying to sleep, pondering over the events of the last couple of weeks, and I suddenly felt very scared. It seemed like everything had fallen in place just the way I wanted it. Peace with my Grandfather, Anya was finding friends at school and Max… I glanced over my shoulder; Max was leaning on me, sound asleep. Well Max and I were going to go to the movies the next day. I wasn't quite sure if it was just two mates hanging out or some sort of date, but I don't think he knew it either.

I felt there would be some sort of menace coming up. Probably starting from the next day onwards, it was always like that. Once you realise you're completely happy, things get shit the next day. I felt very anxious that night. I didn't quite want to go to sleep. But my body was tired and exhausted. I didn't have enough control over it. So well, I fell asleep. The next morning came too soon. At first everything seemed rosy. We woke up together, had breakfast together, laughed and joked around a bit. I almost felt like a superstitious idiot for having worried in the first place. But that bad premonition was still there and the feeling didn't vanish.

School was very odd that day. Maxie was way more flirtatious than normal. He got quite possessive, really. All that had happened was a few girls coming onto me. That really pissed him off. I pretended to take it all lightly and to find it funny, but in reality I felt somewhat honoured. Of course the usual questions came up: Why me? Is this for real? Nothing stays perfect forever. It just doesn't.

Later that day, the Politics and Economics teacher demanded to have an audience with me since he found out about me being the heir of the Hiwatari clan. That whole ordeal had been very amusing and entertaining back then, but now, when viewing this day in retrospect, it seemed rather futile and pointless. At some point throughout the meeting, Max called out to me. He didn't yell my name exactly, but in a way he needed me. He had some sort of nervous breakdown. He had been screaming hysterically. I think it might have scared his friends. But it was just Max being Max. He wanted me, he screamed for me, I came for him. Yes, I was just that pathetic, he had complete control of me. But things were about to change. I weighed myself in a false sense of security after Max's hysteric fit. I must have thought that the menace had passed, since I was strangely confident for the next couple of hours. It didn't last for long, though. I was sitting in the detention room, as usual, playing bridge with Hiro, as usual. Everything was normal, that is, with the exception of that silent fear lingering in the back of my mind. Then suddenly Tyson came in, followed by his usual companion, but missing Max. He was somewhat shaken, somewhat wrought up. The sight of him gave me a sickening feeling in my gut.

'Maxie's gone completely mental.' he announced.

I sighed in relief. Was this it? Was this what I had been worrying about all day? So Max had finally revealed his true side to them. I smirked contently, good for him!

I did feel bad for Tyson, though. It was strange, I had never really been that fond of him, or concerned for that matter. But he had something quite simplistic and pure about him. He was very easy for Max to manipulate. Max had been able to do all sorts of stuff behind his back, or even in front of it, in some cases. Like the whole ordeal with Hiro for example. So now, that the mask had been dropped, he was devastated.

The paranoia guy, Rei I found out his name was, didn't appear that surprised at all. I think he had been suspicious of Max for a while now.

'Where is he?' I asked. I had suddenly become aware of something. Max should've been here. The thing about people with mental illness is that they are often very predictable. They act in a pattern. Narcissists like Max were all about enjoying themselves and looking down at others. He would have stalked Tyson and Rei like a hawk. They would have been great entertainment for him. An epic spectacle to boost his ego. Yet he wasn't there…

'His parents picked him up.' Rei informed me.

And back it was: the ominous feeling.

xxx – xxx – xxx

I waited for him at the movie theatre for an hour. I knew he wouldn't be there but it seems I cared enough to try. To think he was worth it…, I shook my head in astonishment. Now it was official, I was sweet on him. I returned to my apartment, carrying an entirely new perception of myself. Suddenly I was idealistic, naïve, devoted… and manipulated by Max. I still couldn't believe he had managed to do so. Oh man, was I pathetic. But what point was there in denying? I was in it too deep already. Damn him. Damn Matthew fucking Tate. I was cussing and mumbling his name, scaring the shit out of some random passer byes. I'm not sure what annoyed me more: that I had become infatuated with him, or I had allowed him to manipulate me that easily. I walked up the stairs of my apartment building, stomping and pounding until I reached my floor. And there I saw him, sitting at my door step, with his knees arched and his arms clinging around them. He had his chin rested on his legs and stared blankly at the wall opposite of him.

I smirked contently. 'Why is it that I always find you like that?'

It was meant to be a teasing, friendly comment but it made him flinch.

'I'm sorry.' he whispered. He hid his face from me even more. 'I'm sorry.'

I slowly kneed down next to him. He almost obsessively tried to avoid any look of mine, so he tilted his head to the side, so that he wouldn't have to face me anymore.

'Max what the hell is going on?'

He wasn't acting anything like his usual self. It was starting to disturb me. And then he let out a whimmer.

'Max.'

I'm not quite sure why exactly I randomly called out his name like that. Maybe I was just desperately hoping for _him_ to get back. But no such luck, the crunching bundle of misery that once used to be the out and proud Max continued to whimmer. I didn't quite know what to do. I put my arm around him hoping that might calm it down, at least. It worked, he relaxed and leaned against me.

'I'm so sorry.' he repeated. 'I've been a terrible person to you.'

He looked up at me, his clear eyes carrying an air of long lost innocence. Others might have assumed he was just fooling around again, pranking me. But I knew this was real. And it was frightening. I've never been the type to comfort others. I had never needed to, all the people I got close to were strong, confident individuals, and Max took the cake. I would have never expected to be holding him in my arms like that, with him sniffing and repeatedly apologizing for some asshole quality of his that I had actually come to like. I grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him inside. I placed him on the sofa and poured him a glass of Gin and another one of Fanta.

'You'll need this.' I said, pointing at the gin.

He stared at me aghast. 'This is a whole glass full, it's not just one shot, it's at least four or five!'

'Yes and it will taste absolutely disgusting. The only reason I own a bottle of Gin is because Hiro gave it to me for Christmas. And now stop complaining and chug it down already!'

He did as told, and pulled a grimace as soon as he was done. I handed him the Fanta. He chugged that one down even faster. Then he stuck out his tongue in disgust.

'I can still taste it.'

'Do you want me to get another glass of Fanta for you?' I offered.

He shook his head. 'No, you've already been very nice to me. I expected you to send me away, considering how I've been acting all this time.'

His voice was somewhat bitter. I didn't like it. _I_ was the bitter one out of the two of us. And that's the way it should stay!

'I like the way you've been acting.' I said shrugging. It was a lie, his manners infatuate me and made me furious at the same time. But this behaviour pissed me off even more. Somehow it really disturbed me. I might have been cool on the outside, but hell, I was bloody scared!

Max fiddled with his glass. The look on his face was still somewhat delirious and cloudy. Then, in a spasm, he jumped up.

'I should go clean the glasses.' he announced. I could tell he was stalling time, but I didn't mind. He was doing me a favour by cleaning up, so I let him. Yes, I'm being an egoist. So what? I'm not perfect. I never claimed I was.

I could hear the water running in the kitchen. I contemplated weather I should go in and talk to him, but I decided against it. I needed some time to come up with something to say in the first place! It didn't take him long anyways, he soon returned, blushing, with one hand continuously combing through his neat hair, -messing it up. Then he sat down next to me on the sofa.

'Max.'

His head jerked up.

'Did they drug you up or something?'

He leaned against the back piece of my sofa, stretched out his arms and held them over his head. I caught him staring up, straight at the light omitting from the ceiling lamp. Occasionally he would let his left arm swing in and out of his field of view. He was completely absorbed by it. It was as if he were in trance or something. Then, his pouty lips started moving and he spoke in an unnaturally soft voice.

'They gave me a tranquilizer, not very high dose. The effect should have worn off by now.'

But if it wasn't drugs, what was it then?

It was as if Max could read my mind. He slowly turned his head to me, and explained it all to me in a faint whisper.

'I'm depressed. That's the diagnosis. Chronic depression, the most pathetic one of all mental disorders.'

'Depressed?' I uttered, somehow doubting it.

He didn't acknowledge my comment.

'It seems in all my self-pity I started believing that all my problems would vanish if I could be as carefree as a mad person. So I tricked myself into thinking I was crazy. Pathetic, isn't it?'

So none of it was sincere? Was he really just some ordinary kid with a highly developed imagination? It seemed almost to far fetched to be for real. Or rather, it had been too real to be an act.

'They're going to put me on anti-depressants, and hopefully, soon enough, I'll be all back to normal.' He smiled. 'It will be nice.'

I got up, claiming I would go get some food. To be honest, I just wanted to get away. He was like a stranger all of the sudden. And it's not like strangers make me uncomfortable, it was just that I didn't want to see him like that. I wanted him to be the cocky, rude bastard he was. Or rather had been.

After having acted like a total pussy for a little while, hiding from my fears, out of sight out of mind and all that jazz, I had calmed down and come up with enough courage to face the situation. So I put on a fake smile and walked back to him.

'Maxie, buddy...' oh you're just stalling time Kai! Pathetic. 'Say, how exactly do you mean… 'like before'.'

'The way I was before I went mad.'

The answer came quick, almost as if he had expected me to ask that question.

'Depressed?' I suggested.

'I guess.' he said in such an as-a-matter-of-factly tone. It made me sick.

'Why would you want that?'

He shrugged (he had done a lot of that today).

'Max, weren't you _happy_ while you were mad.' I hacked.

He snorted. 'Well, yea. But I was _crazy_ in case you didn't notice.'

'So?'

'What do you mean 'so'?'

'What's the problem.'

'I was _crazy_!' he repeated.

I continued to act all cool.

'But you were _happy_.'

He was at a loss of words. He went on stumbling some things, and then gave up. It seems he couldn't actually come up with any good argument at all. End of discussion. We didn't talk much afterwards. We just sat there together, staring at the blank wall. At some point he remarked that I hadn't actually brought any food and I made up some silly excuse for it, I can't even remember it. Well, it's not like it matters. Not like either of us really cared. I did however care when he got up to return back home. I wasn't exactly upset about it, I was glad, rather. I desperately needed some time to think about it all. From now on, everything would change. Oh hell, it already had!


	13. MAX Damn Shame

**Update! Yay! And something that you might find even more exciting. I'm already 2/3 done with the next chapter, so that one should be up in one week at the latest. I feel like such an over achiever for a change, lol. Well anyways, enjoy! :D**

**Thanks to my dear reviewers: **

**annoying talking animal****: I'm happy somebody noticed the titles changing :D Yay. Thank you very much once again for being so nice on this review. I'm glad you enjoyed that chapter, even though it was so different to the others. Poor Kai indeed. I'm being so evil to him, hehe, just as him and Max are starting to work out…**

**LightlessFallenAngel (for chapter 10)****: Thanks for having advertised my fic on your story! I was super excited when I saw that. I always get behind with reading fics myself, I know what you mean. I'm glad you liked my Voltaire/Kai talk by the way. :)**

**x - xxx - - xxx - - xxx - x**

Damn Shame

**x - xxx - - xxx - - xxx - x**

Seeing the doctors in mental hospital's do their work, no wonder there's all these movies with evil scientists…

xxx - xxx - xxx

The weeks following my diagnosis are kinda patchy in my mind… I can't remember them very well. I only get glimpses. Glimpses in achronological order…

xxx - xxx - xxx

Lunch. At school. I was sitting together with Rei and Tyson. I think they were talking to me, but I'm not too sure. Maybe they gave it up. I wouldn't blame them if they did. But then, suddenly, there was this kid that came up to me. He stared at me and then asked:

'Is it true that you're crazy? That's what everyone's saying.'

I don't think I ever gave him an answer. I do remember Rei chasing him away and then putting his arm around me.

'Are you okay Max?'

'Yes I'm fine. Just feeling a little numb, you know. Don't worry about me.'

But they still continued to worry. They had always been worried. I guess it comes as a two in one deal. If you care about someone, you can't avoid worrying about that someone. I'm sorry Rei, I'm sorry Tyson. I never meant to cause all this trouble.

xxx - xxx - xxx

There's Kai, oh Kai. I like him. He makes me feel good, possibly the only thing or person or whatever that does at the moment. I saw him today after math class. He didn't see me, or so I hope at last. I don't want him to see me like this. I am fond of him, and I am pretty sure he used to be find of me, but not like this… he was fond of the other me. The crazy me, that was acting like a total, narcissistic bastard most of the time… the happier me. Oh I am so ashamed… I don't even know what I am ashamed off actually… the way I acted, or that I am unable to act like that anymore. I think Kai liked the way I acted. Now it's all different. We don't belong together anymore. It used to be Kai, Hiro and me. We had our issues, our brains were compatible. Now it's not like that anymore. I have no business with them anymore.

xxx - xxx - xxx

I wasn't allowed to go to school for a week after my mental instability had been revealed. My parents had the opinion that I needed to rest. Needed to sort my life out. It wasn't a very nice week. I didn't do much. I watched TV. Lots and lots of TV. I can't even remember what I watched. It doesn't matter. Watching TV gets your mind off everything. Your mind isn't required to do anything while you watch TV. All it needs to do is to absorb. Then it can transport you, into a world without worries. It's a nice world, but even this world has it's demons. Commercials. They rip you out of the world. They make you aware of what you're doing, they bring you back to reality. I guess there can be no utopia. It doesn't exist. There's only dystopia. Every layer of our world is composed of dystopias. How sad. It's a shame.

xxx - xxx - xxx

Pills, so many pills. Pills, pills, pills. I've been swallowing so many pills. I don't even know what they're all for. I think they are there to make me happy. It doesn't work. I've been having to swallow so many pills. I can't even remember the names. They're complicated Latin names. I can't even list you example names. That's how complicated they are. So many pills… I'm able to swallow them dry now. Without water. It gives me an interesting feeling as it creeps down my oesophagus. Sometimes I feel like it got stuck, even though it actually didn't. I think I like pills. Mom calls me whenever I need to take one because I am unable to keep track of it myself. Sometimes I don't even seem to hear the phone ring. I don't notice it, but she tells me she's been trying to reach me for 10 minutes. I feel very strange whenever that happens. It reminds me that I'm sick. I hate pills. They remind me that I'm sick.

xxx - xxx - xxx

I saw Pi again. At the mental hospital. Mom said she had Bipolar Disorder. I found out her real name too. It was Mariam. Mom was taking me to some other wing of the hospital when we passed by this room were Mariam was being strapped to a bed. I stopped to watch. The bodies of the doctors were blocking part of my view but I could see how she suddenly started experiencing seizures.

'This is what they call electroconvulsive therapy.' Mom informed me. 'And electric current is passed through the brain which triggers a brief seizure. It causes changes in the brains chemistry which causes the symptoms of some mental illnesses to reverse. They use it to shock severely depressive patients out of their depressive state.'

'Electroshocks?'

'Yes, electroshocks.'

'Is it dangerous?'

'A lot of patients experience memory loss, sometimes temporary, sometimes permanent. There are other risks, like bone fracture but they can be reduced in a controlled environment. Still, it remains a very controversial type of therapy.'

Mariam's foot starting rapidly wiping up and down. One of the doctors moved out of my field of view and I could now see the electrodes attached to her temples. She was connected to a whole lot of machinery and monitors. It was quite a frightening sight.

'Why do they do it? It look barbaric!'

'It's like a last resort, when other treatment is ineffective.'

Mariam had been in and out of mental hospitals, Mom told me. Pills had been ineffective, conjunctive therapy had been ineffective. She was only 20 years old and now looked like 30...

xxx - xxx - xxx

I was sitting in class. All the looks were on me. I was back to school, first day. Nobody expected me here that soon. They're talking about me. Staring at me. There's been a lot of rumours going around. I am not allowed to wear long sleeved shirts, I think the people that care about me want to see whether I injure myself. Cutting and such. I wish I were allowed to wear long sleeved shirts. On that first day, I was wearing a shirt with half long sleeves. They came down to my elbows. People were staring at my arms. FUN. It's still very visible. I was trying to pull the sleeves down further, but it was impossible to completely cover it up. FUN. What does it stand for anyways… I can't even remember. Everything feels so patchy and unreal when I think back at it.

xxx - xxx - xxx

The upsetting thing is that I remember some events too clearly. Like on my birthday. When I got this call. It was from this porn studio that I had signed a contract with a few months earlier. I couldn't quite believe that I had actually done that. It all seemed so unreal…

'So Matthew, you are officially legal now, so we will finally be able to actually shoot the naked scenes…'

It felt so weird, thinking back. I had only been seventeen, so they weren't allowed to shoot any sexual or naked scenes without it being dubbed child pornography, so they had filmed everything but those. They had filmed Hiro and I kissing. Me undressing Hiro down to his underpants. Hiro caressing me. The 'plot'. I have to say, I was feeling kinda guilty when I told them I was stepping down. I had given them the warm up… but not the essential juice. Of course it wasn't just me telling them off. They threatened me. But I knew they had nothing against me. I had been underage when I signed the contract. I was under no legal obligations to follow the contract. But I knew as soon as I hung up the phone, that I had made myself some enemies. Sadly, they weren't the only ones. A lot of people were very angry with me now. It had never been like that before. I had always been a good person. People liked me, and if they didn't, then they did so for a dumb, immature reason. Now there were proper reasons for people to hate me. There were many. All these things I had done while is was… 'out'. The consequences scared me.

xxx - xxx - xxx

There was another scene. I remember it quite clearly. I was staying at Tyson's place. I was supposed to sleepover. It was my first sleepover ever since I was diagnosed. Tyson wanted to play some video game, but he couldn't find it. After five minutes of watching him search for it, I decided to excuse myself and get a glass of water from the kitchen. I hadn't really been thirsty, I just needed something to distract myself with. My brain was doing crazy things when it wasn't occupied… So I walked downstairs, into the kitchen and Hiro was there. I did what I used to do, before I went mad. I greeted him with a simple 'Hello'. I'm not sure how much information Hiro had on my condition. If he knew about it in detail and just decided not to believe it, or if he really had been kept in the unknown to an extent. Thing is, he smirked at me. It was a somewhat strange type of smile, one that I couldn't recall seeing on him… while I had been sane. His face showed a mixture of lust and affection. It made me somewhat uncomfortable, but I chose to ignore it… until he put his arm around my waist.

'Hey, I missed you.'

He moved his hand under my shirt and placed a wet kiss on my cheek. It made me flinch.

'Don't.' I muttered.

'Come on, stop torturing me, please. I need you. I haven't gotten laid in two weeks.'

He placed his other hand on the back of my head and pulled my face closed to his until his lips came in contact with mine. It was a chaste, peck kiss but I felt disgusted with it. I was appalled that Hiro, my best friend's brother, had kissed me… and that I had allowed him to do so. Then I had to think back at all the other things I had done with him, and it made me shiver.

'Hiro, stop.'

I think he believed that I was still teasing him. I don't blame him for it, considering the way I had been treating him such an assumption was quite logical. So with that false fact in mind, he moved one hand down my pants and … squeezed my butt! It was so strange…

'Hiro, stop, please!'

I'm guessing it's the fact that I used the word 'please' that caught his attention. he just stared at me dumbfounded.

'I'm sorry I let you on like this for so long… but, I'm not interested in a relationship with you.'

He laughed. 'I know, I already figured that out. But mindless sex is fine with me.'

Hearing him say it made it a lot more real all of the sudden. Sex. Yes, it was true, I had been sleeping with him, multiple times. I felt so dirty…

'What the hell is going on here?'

We both jerked around. Tyson was standing in the kitchen. He looked at us completely distraught. Hiro immediately took his hands off me.

'Hi there, bro.'

Tyson just glared at him. 'Don't act like I merely caught you watching Barney. I want to know what's going on here.' then he turned to me. 'I thought you were seeing Kai...'

Now it was Hiro's turn to be confused. 'Wait, no he isn't, where did you get that from?'

Then I ran. Yes that's right, I was too much of a coward to confess. Well, that's the story of how I destroyed Kai's and Hiro's friendship.

xxx - xxx - xxx

Sleep hasn't been the same anymore. I sleep a lot. Too much. I am constantly tired. I don't enjoy sleeping anymore. I feel like I am missing out on time I could spend doing something other than napping. It's getting really quite frustrating. Mom says it's the pills. I'm getting tired of the pills. Oh dear, a pun, that wasn't intentional… well, it works I guess. I could also tell you that I'm getting sick of the pills. It's another pun. I've been nauseous lately. It doesn't even take much. Just sitting in the car for a couple of minutes when Dad drives me to school triggers it. I've been asking them to let me walk there instead, like I always used to. But they don't allow that. They're worried about me. It makes me feel awful. I'm finally an adult and now, due to my depression, people feel the necessity to treat me like a child. I wish I could say that they're overdoing it. But they're not. I need this extra care. And that just makes it even worse, I cannot hate them for being over protective. Instead, I just feel guilty. Oh so guilty.

xxx - xxx - xxx

Mental hospitals are scary. I remember staying in one for three nights in a row. Mom thought it would be a good thing to have me under supervision for a prolonged period of time. The hospital was very intimidating. I was dressed in a pyjamas with all these serious doctors in their white coats surrounding me, questioning me, trying to figure out the nature of my depression. As far as I could understand, they were starting to consider that I was manic depressive. Meaning: Bipolar Disorder. A mental illness that causes wild and unusual shifts in mood. A scary, fluctuating symphony between manic happiness and severe depression.

'Okay Matthew, we'll be going through a checklist, please confirm if you have or have not experienced these symptoms over the course of your manic period.'

'Manic?' I asked.

The doctor snickered at my half-knowledge . 'Let's just call it your 'happy, slightly insane' period.'

I nodded and he proceeded with questioning me.

'Did you experience excitement?'

'Yes.'

'Increased Energy?'

'Yes, I think so…'

'Insomnia or less need for sleep?'

I nodded again. 'Yes.' Come to think of it, I had hardly had any sleep at night. Five hours max. And still, I had been functioning just fine…

'Irritability?'

'Not really…'

'Megalomania? -That is the tendency to have delusional fantasies of power, greatness and omnipotence.'

'I don't really know.'

'Yes!' My mother interrupted us. 'My ex husband described him as a Megalomaniac on multiple occasions. Arrogant, selfish, manipulative, narcissistic with a flair for the dramatic.'

I knew Mom was just doing a psychoanalysis, but I still felt very guilty and… insulted. I sunk my head. Couldn't we just talk about my depression instead…

'Have you been having an urge to make grandiose, pompous and/or unrealistic plans.' the Doctor proceeded.

Like becoming a porn star or moving to Lithuania… Seems like I have!

'Yes.'

'Racing thoughts?'

'Maybe.'

'Have you experienced an increased sex drive.'

Oh no, this was embarrassing. I glanced over to my mother. Would she be disappointed?

'Yes.'

Mom didn't appear impressed at all. She just checked it off the list in an 'as-a-matter-of-factly' manner.

'Reckless behaviour. That includes things like sexual promiscuity, spending sprees, drug abuse, binging etc.'

'None of those listed, apart from sexual promiscuity maybe, but I guess I've been acting somewhat reckless.'

'Could you please elaborate on that matter.'

I looked at Mom. She stared back at me. She tried to hide it but I could tell that she was shocked. I avoided her glare by looking down at my hands.

'I've been tricking friends into hooking up with me and played them up against each other for my personal entertainment.' I confessed in one breath.

It was official. I was a horrible person. Even the psychiatrists would think so. I was so ashamed. I briefly glanced up at Mom. The disappointment in her eyes gave me the final blow: I started crying. Tears were running down my cheeks and I was sobbing uncontrollably.

'I can't believe I did it. I hurt my friends, I'm such a monster.' I continued crying and crying and I couldn't stop. But then, suddenly I felt warmth and comfort. It was my Mom, she had put her arms around me and was wiping the tears from my eyes with her sleeve.

'We'll take care of you Maxie.' She muttered. 'That's why were doing this, don't worry Maxie. We'll take care of you.'

My mother had never been a very emotional person. She was cool and rational, a perfect scientist, but she had always somewhat lacked the human factor. Her displaying affection this openly was rare, very rare. Hence I appreciated it even more. But there was another thought, nagging in my mind. Oh how ashamed she must've felt over the fact that her very own son was now a patient in this institution.

They continued questioning me. At some point they moved on to interrogating me on my symptoms of depression. That was a lot less painful. Towards the end of the day, I think they concluded that I, most likely had a version of Bipolar Disorder called Rapid Cycling. Rapid cycling meant that the patient would experience four or more episodes of depression or mania over the course of one year. My mania period had lasted for only a few months. Previously I had been depressed, I could still recall that. And now I was depressed again. The doctors explained to me that in most variations of Bipolar Disorder, either period of mania or depression could last several years, hence my rather frequent mood swings would rather fit the pattern for Rapid Cycling. In a way that meant good news to me. Even with all my guilt and shame, oh how I wished for my 'mania' (as they called it) to return and hence for me to feel happy and confident again.

**xxx - xxx - xxx**

**Heya, how did you like it? **

**Considering Maxie's patchy memory in this chapter you can probably guess what specific treatment he will undergo at a later point in this story …**

**Oh and Hiro's chapter will be next, it will be up by next week.**


	14. HIRO Damn kai

I finished a chapter within a week, yay! But sorry, it's Hiro's, so no romance, just good old Hiro/Kai friendship. (Actually, not really 'good', the pacing in this chapter is awful! Blame Hiro, he's kind of a chaotic character).

There's only 3 more chapters to go. Oh wow, the end is approaching. Kinda depressing.

Thanks to my reviewers:

Annoying talking animal: I'm happy you liked the last chapter that much. :) As always, I love you for being such an awesome reviewer!

LightlessFallenAngel: Thank you so much for reviewing three chapters in one go, you rock! :D

xxx - xxx - xxx

**Never would I have expected that this would turn out to become some sort of romance fairytale between Max and Kai. Never would I have expected Kai to betray me like that. Considering that I had found out that my best friend was dating my beau behind my bad - from my brother of all the people- I felt I had every right to be appalled, angry and well, …somewhat disappointed. I could lie and claim that it was the fact that Kai had lied to me was the thing that upset me the most, but let's be honest, the fact that he decided to date Max in the first place is what really pissed me off. He knew very well how I felt about him. And hadn't he always been the one to go 'Hey Hiro, be careful around him, he's manipulating you. Don't get too attached, because he might really end up hurting you!'. Well in the end, it wasn't Max that had hurt me. It was my dear, oh so 'kind' and 'concerned' 'best friend': Kai. And I really didn't know how to go on from now on. In one way I was all: 'that backstabbing bastard' but then, let's face it, **_**he was all I had**_**. Yes, I was just that pathetic. Nobody was remotely interested in becoming my friend, -not even the group of normal, cool guys that I had spend the majority if my high school years stalking. And then he came along… I'm not too sure how exactly we became friends. He just started randomly showing up for detention. I think I first realized that we indeed were friends when he invited me over to his place for dinner. It had been a long time since **_**anybody**_** had invited me over to their place just to spend time with me. Sure there had been school projects, or me tagging along when my Grandpa went to visit family friends, but somebody going 'Hey, do you want to hang out at my place after school?' Woah! Not since ninth grade at least! That is kinda how I 'detect' friendship, when somebody invites you to their place. Of course there's billions of exceptions (fuckbuddies etc) but hey. And it really did mean a lot, not just because it was the first time in years that somebody had invited me over (we went over that already), but also because Kai is, well, he's kind of a closeted, reserved guy who likes keeping to himself and doesn't really reveal much about his life either. You should've seen the shock on my face when I found out he had a kid. It's not like he warned me beforehand or anything…**

_**xxx**_

**So you might wonder how I even found out about Kai and Max. Courtesy of my little brother! He had caught me flirting with Max, and it kinda slipped out of him. Max ran off right after and I cornered Tyson and made him tell me the entire story of what was going on. And he did. He told me about Max and Kai being involved in some sort of romantic relationship, even though they were both denying that they actually had some feelings for each other. He told me about Max flipping out at school once and Kai being the only one able to calm him. And he even told me about one time when **_**him**_** and Max went on a date. (Just to clarify, by **_**him**_** I mean TYSON). The last one shocked me the most! **

**Talking about being shocked, Ty certainly was after I confessed to him that Max and I had been fucking for a while. **

'**I didn't even know you were having sex.' he said, looking at me somewhat disgusted.**

'**Are you angry?' I asked him.**

**Tyson shook his head. He had always been the forgiving type. 'No, no, it's your life and your business.' He was disturbed by it, surely, but he tried to act all chilled.**

'**I broke my promise, remember?' **

**It felt like ages since I had promised him in that Mock Trial that I wouldn't flirt with 'subject Tate'.**

**He laughed as he was reminded of it: 'That was a fun day.'**

'**That was also the first day Max and I slept with each other.'**

**His smile faded. 'Well, the entire juristic trial thing was more of a joke anyways.' he stated awkwardly.**

**His eyes stared at me pleadingly. It was as if they were saying 'can't I just forgive you already and we stop talking about this, please!'**

'**I also do porn.' I told him. I felt I should come clean all the way.**

**He started giggling.**

'**No I'm serious.' I insisted.**

**He stared at me. 'You're kidding me, right?'**

'**No, I'm serious.' I repeated. Oh boy was I nervous. What if he'd reject me? Maybe I should have spread out my confessions over a longer period of time instead of telling him it all at once.**

'**Oh, wow.' he muttered. He scratched the back of his head. 'So, how's the sex in front of the camera… does it get awkward?'**

**What truly was awkward was this situation, I could tell Tyson just wanted to get away, or if not that, loosen the tension a little by making jokes. He was not really the type for frontal confrontation. I think he was more one of those people that preferred to not know about things, ignorance is bliss after all. I decided to finally let him off, I felt he needed some alone time, to play video games or read a comic book, -something to get his mind of what I'd just told him.**

_**xxx**_

**I was still in a bad mood the next day at school. And to top it all off, during English class, Kai just came up to me like normal, as if nothing had happened and he had nothing to be ashamed of. He smiled at me and raised his hand to greet me. He could have taken off a large top hat or taken a bow and it wouldn't have impressed me.**

'**Hey.'**

'**Piss off!' I told him and scowled at him with my most intense death glare..**

'**What's with you today?' he asked rather startled. He turned his head away from me and started to calmly unpack his textbooks onto the table next to mine.**

'**I know about you and Max.' I hissed.**

**He stalled and turned his eyes back on me. He had a horrified and worried look on his face**

'**Hiro…' he stuttered.**

'**Just don't bother! I rather have no friends than a friend like you.' I told him. **

**He nodded dolefully. Then he grabbed his books and moved them to a different table. Dammit, I had somehow hoped for him stay back and make an effort to… oh I don't even know, …to make it better perhaps. Even though I had been the one to send him away, I still kinda wanted him back. But then again, I was still so damn angry at him. I had **_**trusted **_**him. All along I had believed that cared about our friendship. Well, I had been wrong, obviously. **

_**xxx**_

**Kai and I didn't say a single word to each other the entire week. We still saw each other during our classes but whenever the teacher demanded for us students to do group projects, Kai and I didn't, like usually, do them together. I would just pick a random student and force him or her to work with me. And after a while, our classmates started to notice.**

'**What's with you and Kai? I though you two were like, BFF's.' this random girl hacked. She was your typical bimbo, loud, annoying and always on the hunt for the newest gossip.**

'**We had a fight.' I informed her.**

'**Aww, what about?' she asked in her fake-pity voice. I knew she was curious rather than caring, so I didn't bother to answer her question.**

'**That's none of your business.' I told her instead.**

**Thinking about it, that might have been a bit rude to say after all. No wonder I didn't have friends. **

_**xxx**_

**So thing is, I got lonely, very lonely. So lonely that I even ended up seeing the school shrink, just to have somebody to talk to. Well, she didn't really help me at all, the opposite rather. Once I left her office I was in an even worse mood than before. Here's an excerpt of our conversation:**

'**So to summarize it. I am pissed at Kai because he is now sleeping with the guy, that I fell for, after we started a fuckbuddy relationship, because I'm a nymphomaniac.' **

**I said it all in one breath. I had explained her the story in greater detail already but had decided to do a recap because she had been staring at me somewhat puzzled for about five minutes. She still was, actually. Then, finally, she sighed and decided to say something:**

'**Hiro, I'm disappointed. These meetings are designed for students that actually have some real issues they need to discuss. You are the last person I expected to come in and make up some ridiculous story for your personal amusement.'**

**I couldn't believe she had actually said that.**

'**I'm not making this up.' I insisted. **

'**Hiro, get out of here, you're just wasting my time.'**

**She closed her notebook and put it back onto a bookshelf.**

'**Wasting your time?' I yelled. 'This is your JOB.'**

**I was normally a very calm and shy person, but that day I had already been provoked and annoyed, I guess I just kinda flipped out.**

'**My job is to help people and assist them with their problems, not dealing with some nonsense prank you just made up.' she retorted.**

**I figured there was no point in discussing it with her. **

'**Whatever.' I got up and grabbed for my backpack. I was just about to walk out of the door when I stalled and turned around.**

'**Just so you know, you're awful at doing your job.'**

**Then I left. Damn. What a BITCH. I was furious, this had been so utterly pointless. I had gone through that embarrassing and awkward procedure of emptying my soul out to a member of the teaching staff, and what did I get in return? That bitch had insulted me. I marched back and forth in the hallway for another while, wildly cussing, which earned me a few surprised looks from the students passing by me. So what? Did they expect me Mr Perfect or something? Well obviously I wasn't perfect enough to get any of those scholarships that I had applied for. So me being the student body president and hence automatically the school's biggest loser had been for nothing, all along. To add to my pain, I was to host a school assembly third period. A point on my agenda was to read out and congratulate all those students that HAD received scholarships. Isn't it always nice to hear that the schools biggest idiots who didn't do shit all year long got scholarships, just because they played some stupid sport? Life just isn't fair.**

_**xxx**_

**Assembly. I really don't get why people hate it that much. I mean, okay, I hate it too, but I have a REASON. I actually need to hold a speech. Everybody else just has to sit and listen, -and they don't even need to directly listen to my voice because the school is ghetto enough for the teacher to not give a damn if someone's wearing their headphones. Plus they get to miss out on at least 20 minutes of class time, so I don't see why they're complaining. **

'**Now your student body president, Hiro Kinomiya will read out some student achievements. We as a school are especially proud of all the scholarship recipients.;**

**Yuck! My turn. There was half-hearted applause (mostly from the teacher staff) when I walked up onto the podium. I adjusted the microphone and started reading out my speech:**

'**So this has been quite an eventful week.' I had to suppress the urge to let out a sarcastic laugh. Yes, it had been eventful indeed. For me at least. I pondered over it for a sec and then continued my stupid speech that nobody really cared about anyways:**

'**Our girls soccer team beat the Cold Rock High team on Monday night. Our Baseball team tied with the Regnesburry Lancers on Wednesday. But now onto something even more exciting…'**

**Exciting? My ass! Who wrote this stupid speech anyways?**

'**Several students have received scholarships. Logan Jones received a Football scholarship to Tennessee State University. Nathan Woolanga received a Football scholarship, also, but he'll be off to Georgetown University.'**

**That one pissed me off the most. Nathan was an idiot. Seriously! If you'd ask him, he wouldn't even be able to list you our neighbouring planets. I had him in detention once, he asked me where to find the 'element' fire on the periodic table. Well this idiot would be going to Georgetown for free. Georgetown, the University that had not just rejected my scholarship application, but me all the way. **

'**Theo Rodrick will be only a few miles away. He received a Baseball Scholarship to Maryland State University. Now congratulations to all of you.'**

**The students in the auditorium were slightly less unengaged than normal. The jocks and cheerleaders were clapping and cheering for Nathan and Logan (nobody really cared for Theo). Once again I felt reminded that life just wasn't fair. I had worked so hard and the only ones that showed and interest in me and wanted me to 'enrich their community' were porn studios. Okay, so there was this one adult film company in the Netherlands, which was actually quite a big deal, because it was Europe and all, but still. My efforts felt like such waste all of the sudden. I was about to turn around and hand the microphone over to the vice principal, when the school shrink caught my eye. That bitch that had accused me of lying. I smirked, an awesome idea had popped into my mind. Thinking about it in retrospect, it was an awful idea. But anyways, the thing is: at the time, I felt that for all I had sacrificed, surely I did deserve some personal mic time. **

'**Okay, I'm assuming none of you actually want to return to class…'**

'**I do.' some nerdy looking boy interrupted me. Damn him.**

'**Well on behalf of your classmates I'm just going to ignore that statement and continue with my plan. Who knows, maybe you really should listen before you end up like me. Okay, now, everyone: I have a personal announcement to make!'**

**The vice principal sent me an estranged look but shrugged. I guess he trusted me enough to not say anything offensive. Oh how wrong he was. This was the angry, frustrated Hiro now. Not the calm and reserved Hiro that he was used to dealing with.**

'**Okay, first of all, I have a message addressed at my best friend Kai.' I begun.**

'**Are you going to declare your undying love, faggot?' some random jock yelled, which resulted in quite a lot of laughter and applause. I waited until everyone had calmed down and then snickered.**

'**Quite the opposite actually.'**

**People stared at me rather puzzled and I just smirked and continued my speech:**

'**Fuck you Kai, you selfish, backstabbing asshole.'**

**Silence.**

**I don't think I can remember ever having experienced such silence during a school assembly. People were just staring at me dumbfounded. Especially Kai. Then the vice principal started marching towards me, he was shaking in anger. **

'**Wait, wait, I'm not done yet. I wont cuss anymore, I promise!' **

**Lucky thing that he was probably pretty curious himself as to what I was going to say, so he let me do my thing.**

'**So Kai.' I said. 'You're kinda my only friend and I don't wanna lose you, so how about we say that, if you forgive me for publicly insulting you, I'll forgive you for having fucked Max, even though you knew that I was hitting on him.'**

**The vice principal glared at me accusingly. **

**I started to desperately apologise to him. 'Oh no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say the F-word, it just kinda slipped.'**

**I glanced over at the crowd. It looked like that one jock did get his love declaration after all, if not aimed at Kai. Then I realised that fuck my life: I had just come out to the entire school. This was bad. I saw Max covering his head in shame and Kai who just facepalmed himself. But I also noticed how he was giggling (Kai, I mean). Not in a mocking way but rather in a 'I can't believe you just said that you crazy moron'-way. And his smile kinda encouraged me to go on. I had, once again, been close to handing the mic over to the vice principal when I changed my mind. I had a lot more to say, after all.**

'**Sorry sir, but there's more to come.'**

'**Hiro, if you don't turn over the microphone immediately you are going to loose your position as student body president.' he threatened me.**

'**It doesn't matter anyways.' I announced. I turned towards the crowd again. 'That's right. I, Hiro Kinomiya don't give a fuck about I loosing my position as student body president, because as a matter of fact, I don't care about getting a scholarship anymore. I didn't get one with all my engagement in the student council, voluntary detention supervision and to top it all, this idiotic position as student body president. And why? Well because all the funding goes to stupid, arrogant athletes that don't even deserve it. I'm not going to bother re-applying for the winter semester. In fact, I'm am going to put off my plan of going to University all together. Instead, I'm going to do porn!'**

**There was mumbling and laughter going through the crowd. **

'**Yea right, as if **_**you**_** would ever land a job as a porn star.' somebody shouted.**

**And the following moment was one of the most satisfactory moments of my life:**

'**Actually, you're wrong!' I announced. 'To be completely honest, I have been working in the adult film industry for about six months now. And while Universities were being depressingly disinterested in me, I got plenty of offers from porn studios. And I have decided.' (In reality, I had just decided it in that very moment) 'I am going accept a specific offer from one of the Netherlands's most famous adult film production companies. So I am going to earn my money, fair and square, until I'll be able to afford 5 years of undergraduate plus doctors degree and independent accommodation. Oh, and by the way, I'm a nymphomaniac, I like to fuck! Well, thanks for listening, suckers!'**

**Then I finally handed over my microphone and proudly marched off the podium. I couldn't help but smirk. And then, the strangest thing ever occurred: Applause! I couldn't believe it. Students were applauding **_**me**_**! Hmm, I guess any person of authority using the F-word in public was something they enjoyed.**

_**xxx**_

'**Eh, Hiro!' it came from Kai. He was standing by the exit of the auditorium, his back against the wall and his arms crossed.**

'**Hi.' I said. 'I wasn't quite sure how to react to him being there, waiting for me.**

'**I liked your speech.' he smiled. 'Especially the part about you calling me a selfish, back-stabbing asshole.'**

'**Yea, that part…' I mumbled. 'Sorry about that.'**

'**No, I deserved it.' he sighed. 'I'm sorry Hiro, for real.'**

**I just stared at him, this had worked out better than I had ever expected. He wasn't angry at me. At all! I then startlingly realised that it was my turn to forgive him. 'It's fine.' I ensured him. 'Don't worry about it.'**

**He brushed a few strands of his wavy, black hair out of his eyes. 'Things no longer make sense to me like they used to.' he confessed. His voice sounded bitter and sad. 'First I introduced you to Max out of the selfish reason that I was getting annoyed with your constant talk about how you didn't get laid. Then I started to get worried about you, about Max manipulating you and hurting your feelings somehow. Then, I -of all the people, got attracted to Max. I guess I was just so used to taking what I wanted, without caring about the consequences it had on other people, so I kept on reassuring myself that it was okay. And then, ironically, it ended up being me who hurt your feelings.'**

**So he had arrived at the same conclusion as I had earlier. It was a very emotional moment for the both of us, we didn't dare to look each other in the eyes.**

'**Max manipulated us both.' I said, to break the silence.**

**He nodded. ' And still we both fell for him.'**

'**I feel like an idiot.'**

**Kai laughed. 'So do I.'**

**I slung my arm around him and ruffled his hair. 'Well anyways, good to have my best friend back.'**

**He also put his arm around me. 'Yes, good to have you back too.'**

**People were giving us weird looks again. Only minutes earlier, I had insulted him in front of the entire school and now I was hugging him. I guess they finally had a good reason to stare, so I couldn't blame them for it. Still, in that moment I didn't care. Not about their puzzled looks, not about Max, not about my depressing lack of scholarships. Kai and I were back to being friends. Official friends, this time! And it felt great.**

'**By the way.' Kai muttered. 'I never had sex with Max.'**

**xxx - xxx - xxx **


End file.
